I Just Can't Wait Any More

Warning: Do NOT attempt to read this post unless you are willing to scrape, dig, and hang in there to the end. If your mind is rigid, you will not make it. You must be willing to make associations. Proceed at your own risk.

For the purposes of this post, please make me the Grand Potenhamous of the Union of Citizoffers. And let's pretend that it is my duty to nominate a person to fill a retiring Decidinhoffer's position on the Major Decidenhoffer of the land.

Next, let's pretend that our Official Behavior and Decidenhoffen document prescribes that the Senalyinhoffers have the job of interviewing my nominee and saying, "Good pick O Grand Potenhamous. It is our advice that you put this citizoffer in the retiring Decidinhoffer's position."

Only let's pretend that the Senalyinhoffers don't like to be restricted to just saying, "OK" to my choice, but think that if they pomp, puff, and pilander enough the rest of the citizoffers will think, "What a good job those Senalyinhoffers are doing of protecting us from the selection of a Decidenhoffer who might actually stand for something.

In fact, in the past, the Senalyinhoffers have blabbered, bellowed and blustered over my previous nominations of Decidenhoffers so much, and have had so much support from the medihoffers in the land, that my nominations said, "OK, nevermind," and the one I did nominate who was approved to sit at the helm of all the Decidenhoffers, was allowed due to a deal between myself and the Senalyinhoffers not to blabber, bellow and bluster over that one as long as the next one I pick is to their tastes.

So now let's all get our heads together and see what can be done.

I consult with my advisenhoffers and we jibber over our direction.

I could pick from a bunch of really well known Decidenhoffers who are strong and willing to fight for a position on the Major Decidenhoffer and whose positions are firm and well known, and against whom the Senalyinhoffers are likely to resume their blabbering, bellowing and blustering until absolutely nothing gets done (a condition to which they are used, but the rest of the citizoffers don't want), OR, I could perform what amounts to a "quarterback sneak" and nominate an A+ lawhoffer, whose positions I know supremely well, but whose said positions are not as well known to the Senalyinhoffers and the Medihoffers.

All of the Senalyinhoffers would be sent into a tailspin.

The Senalyinhoffers who were my enemies would not be able to find a reason to blabber, bellow, and bluster and I would still get the same result I would have gotten had I nominated one of the better known Decidenhoffers.

True...the Senalyinhoffers would not be the only ones confused, there would also be the Medihoffers and people like Rash Limhoffer, but the nomination is very likely to be consumated.

If the Senalyinhoffers renig and descent, no harm, no foul.

They then would be much less able to blabber, bellow and bluster about one of the stronger Decidenhoffers when I nominate him...her...them...whatever.

Either way, while I am enjoying the height of political geniusism, the Senalyinhoffers would be relegated to the burnt wood pile, left to just sit on their ashes.

And I would rest on my laurels with my legacy intact and the citizhoffers once again able to follow the postulates of the Official Behavior and Decidenhoffen document.

OK. Stop pretending now.

We all know that we live in The United States of America and that a scenario such as is described above could never happen.

Unless, that is, we had a really "dumb, stupid" Yale graduate serving as President who was, in the end, the greatest political strategist who ever lived.

Well whaddaya know.