Boudreaux Golly

Boudreaux live across the bayou from Clarence who he don like at all.

Dey all de time yell across de bayou at each other.

Boudreaux would yell to Clarence, "If I had a way to cross dis bayou, I'd come over dere an beat you up good, yeah!"

Dis went on for years.

Finally de state done built a bridge across dat bayou right by dere houses and Boudreaux's wife, Marie, say, "now is you chance, Boudreaux. Why don you go over der an beat up dat Clarence
like you say?"

Boudreaux say, "OK," and start across de bridge, but he see a sign on de bridge an he stop to read it and den he go back home.

Marie say, "Why you back so soon?"

And Boudreaux say, "Marie I dun change my mind 'bout beatin' up
dat Clarence.

"You know Marie, dey got a sign on dat dere bridge dat
say, 'Clarence 13 ft. 6 in.'

"You know, he don look near dat big when I yell at him across the bayou."

Blogger's note: Only VERY intelligent people can understand this joke.

Thought You Might Enjoy This

Here are the top fifteen things police have been heard saying:

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides and eat cotton candy."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore.
We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And...THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? .. You're right, we don't. ..... Sign here

Turkey Day!

HAVE A THANKFUL

TO GOD DAY!

Mule Division

A friend of mine sent me this in an email. I've seen it before, but it is cute:

A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons.

The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth.

The three sons, seeing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.

The uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule, and drove out to settle the matter.

He added his mule to the 17, making 18.

The eldest son then got one-half, or nine.

The second eldest got one-third, or six.

The youngest got one-ninth,or two.

Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17.

The uncle hitched up his mule and drove home

I AM SO CONFUSED

What a trip!!

First I got really, really sick...heart stuff.

Then I lost my Internet connection.

I called Embarq (The new, totally stupid name for Sprint). Their very nice tech ran me through an hour and a half's work to try to get it all back.

At the end of countless adjustments and computer re-starts, he said, "Well there's a 50% chance it is your USB Network Adapter, and a 50% chance that it is your Network transmitter.

I looked into the price of USB network adapters and had resigned myself to purchasing one, trying it to determine whether it was the culprit and if it was not, purchasing a new transmitter.

Then I moved the Linksys adapter to another USB port on my computer.

The computer suddenly did not recognize the adapter...then did.

Then it recognized the adapter, but would not recognize the Internet connection.

Today, somewhat frustrated, I entered my blog's URL into the address bar and, bingo! I got connected.

Then I closed the Internet and bango...it would not reopen!!

Then I typed the address again, and bingo...it opened!!

I went into Internet options and set my blog as my homepage, closed the Internet connection and bango! I could not get back in!

Then I did the whole thing over again and...

I think everything is working.

I think.

Can you read this?

Then it must be working.

UNUSUAL RESPONSE

I recently received a series of comments on this blog from a person who calls him or herself "aztec mutton."

Most of his/her comments were of an attack nature, and he/she linked his name to a blog which he/she now claims is not his/hers, which was pure, rank filth.

Here is what he/she wrote in his/her last comment in response to jim's response to his/her previous comments:

Perhaps. Sorry. You should realize, however, that I find many of the opinions stated on this blog to be alien at best. Frightening. The thing is, despite my intentions, I legitimately thought blogging was intended for arguments, input, responses etc. Especially one that makes blanket statements that are beyond right-wing. I had a blog that was political in nature and I welcomed arguments. That's how I learned more about the world and other people's views. Anyway, didn't mean to offend anyone. Take care and don't forget to brush yer' teeth.

"Perhaps."

He/she seems not to be able to firmly grasp the offense created or the lack of reasonableness of his/her response.

"Sorry."

From what follows, it is difficult to surmise the sincerity of this apololgy.

"You should realize, however, that I find many of the opinions stated on this blog to be alien at best. Frightening."

Here is one who wants us not to find his/her opinions alien or frightening, but who seems to think it OK to find the opinions of those with whom he/she disagrees or does not understand alien and frightening. Interesting intellectual position.

What on earth could one who seems to apply free speech to him/herself possibly fear from the opinions of another?

Am I missing something here? Should I be afraid of his/her opinions because they are "alien" to me?

(By the way, I am 65 years old, have been around the proverbial block, and there are no opinions you could have that would either shock or frighten me.)

"The thing is, despite my intentions, I legitimately thought blogging was intended for arguments, input, responses etc."

(Putting the incomprehensibility of the above statement aside) He/she probably did not know that many blogs are little more than personal journaling. He/she did not realize that many blogs don't even invite comments. In fact, Blogger allows a blogger to turn off the comments altogether. The fact that this blog allows comments must have equated in his mind that it invites commonness, vulgarity and filth, as well.

"Especially one that makes blanket statements that are beyond right-wing."

Funny that a person who wishes to express blanket statements about this blog does not afford to me the same rights.

"I had a blog that was political in nature and I welcomed arguments."

That is absolutely within the rights of the individual blogger. Interesting, though, that the use of the word, "had" seems to indicate that the blog no longer exists. Might it have gotten too hot for him/her?

"That's how I learned more about the world and other people's views. "

If that is the purpose of one's blog, it is certainly permissible...if a bit simplistic.

"Anyway, didn't mean to offend anyone."

It is beyond comprehension that one could use inflamatory language, take pot-shots at one's philosophical position without accompanying rationale, and link folks to a vile, vulgar site without the slightest intellectual understanding that offense might be taken.

"Take care and don't forget to brush yer' teeth."

This was the hardest of all to deal with.

The implication that there might be some short-coming in the personal hygene of me or one or more of my commenters is just beyond the pale.

Let it be known, publically and on my personal blog, that I brush my teeth two or three times a day.

I swish, too.

And I floss.

Comments are welcome on this blog with only a few rules:

1. Be respectful at all times.

2. Disagree with me, if you just have to, but do not engage in battle with the other commenters. Everybody may express his/her opinion on the topic at hand, but I prefer NOT to engage in long strings of back-and-forth arguments, because, in the end, nobody's opinions are ever changed, least of all mine.

3. Vulgar, filthy language that seeks the lowest common denominator of human existance is not welcomed here.

Does all of that seem fair enough?

If so, fine.

If not...tough.

Once again, this is MY blog.

PREDICTION

Here is what will happen:

1. Within one year there will be EXTREME pressure to withdraw from Iraq.

2. Within 3 years of withdrawal from Iraq, we will have had several terrorist attacks on US soil.

3. Many terroist cells already in our country will be joined by others coming in through un-sealed borders and we will be fighting a war against terrorism RIGHT HERE IN THE UNITED STATES.

4. There will ensue GREAT PRESSURE to raise taxes "to pay for many new programs" that will "benefit" so-called "people without opportunity to better themselves."

5. The border fence project will be de-funded (or never funded to begin with), and the ranks of illegal aliens will swell until they constitute a large voting block (never mind that they have no right to vote...they will be afforded the right).

6. The slow trend toward civility in interpersonal relationships and polite society will begin to give way to state sanctioned vulgarity.

7. There will be EXTREME PRESSURE to enact the so-called "fairness doctrine," requiring all media outlets to take a liberal, leftist turn...including Christian radio and TV.

8. There will be another move toward nationalized health care which will result in it becoming more difficult to choose your doctors and which will result in long waits for needed health care.

9. Countries which now allow their citizens to come to the US for better health care will no longer have incentive to do so, resulting in fewer patients and higher medical costs.

10. TAXES, TAXES, TAXES...eventually up to 50% of your income for INCOME TAXES alone if you earn more than $50,000.00 per year.

11. The economy will begin to turn around and within three years will no longer be strong and robust. Recession is on the horizon.

12. The stock market will plunge, after having hit record levels under conservative leadership in our government.

13. No more "originalist" judges will pass appointment to the Supreme Court.

Those are some of my predictions.

All because the liberal arm of our government has been given the reins in congress.

President Bush, please be sure your veto pen is full of ink.

Senators, be sure you are on top of things.

In spite of it all, GOD WILL STILL BE IN CONTROL...AND THAT TRUMPS EVERYTHING!

HERE FOR A DAY VOTE!!

I'm here for a day...but I will be back.

Tomorrow is the day when we will decide the future of our country for many years to come.

If you are a citizen of The United States of America you need to make time to vote.

If you do not make time to vote, you do not deserve to call yourself a citizen.

Here's why:

Being a citizen of most countries is no big deal.

As a citizen of some countries, you wake up in the morning, do what the government has said you can do, go where the government says you can go. say what the government says you can say and have what the government says you can have.

In other countries you do pretty much what you want to and hope against hope that some coup does not take place that forever changes the way your government operates.

In The United States of America, you wake up in the morning, and, except for certain activities deemed by society as a whole and undesirable, such as murder, stealing, raping, etc., you do as you please.

In The United States of America, you have the opportunity to be whatever you want to be.

You can be a "captain of industry" just because you want to.

You can drive a bus, fly commercial aircraft, treat people's ills, sell snake oil or whatever you can find that will help other people to the degree that they are willing to pay you for it.

As motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar says, "You can get anything you want out of life if you'll help enough other people get what they want out of life."

But it all hinges on a sufficient number of people being a part of the process by voting for the people they think will make the decisions best for the country.

Now I cannot tell you how to vote.

I can give you advice about voting if you were to ask for it.

For instance, if you asked me who to vote for, I would say the following:

1. Do you want to pay more taxes? Do not vote Republican.
2. Do you want more attacks on the USA than we have had since 9/11? Do not vote Republican.
3. Do you want a weaker economy? Do not vote Republican.
4. Do you want more abortions in the USA? Do not vote Republican.
5. Do you want higher unemployment? Do not vote Republican.
6. Do you want higher inflation? Do not vote Republican.
7. Do you want open borders through which terrorists could enter the country? Do not vote Republican.
8. Do you want a lower wage-to-buying power ratio? Do not vote Republican.
9. Do you want elitists to tell you which doctors you can see, how much you will pay and how long you must wait for medical attention? Do not vote Republican.
10. Do you want to fight a war against terrorists on our soil, in our cities and in our countryside? Do not vote Republican.
11. Do you want to be MORE dependent on foreign oil (not a single viable "alternative fuel" has been found yet and none [that's right - none] is on the horizon)? Do not vote Republican.
12. Do you want more liberal judges on the Supreme Court who will rule in favor of gay marriage, eminent domain for shopping centers, restricting freedom of religion, etc.? Do not vote Republican.

Maybe you are a Republican, but you are angry at some of the decisions they have made lately. To "teach them a lesson" you plan NOT to vote.

News-flash!

You will not teach them a lesson.

All you will do is hurt yourself, hurt the country and (most importantly of all) hurt me, because all of the above listed things will come to pass.

If you do not vote, you are, at best, a liberal (for you will be allowing them to have control), and at worst a traitor.

What? That would make you angry if I called you that?

Tough cookies. I call them the way I see them...'cause in this country I can.

That is how I would answer you if you asked for my advice about how to vote.

Since you have not asked, I will not tell you those things.

Regardless...if I could get one message across to you it would be:

Get off of your lazy, indifferent, selfish posterior and

VOTE