The Liberal's Bent

Let me be the first to inform you (if I am not already too late) that I am a narrow minded (for instance I am narrow minded about being hit by lightning-and other stuff, too), hard nosed, Bible thumping, opinionated, conservative Christian. I take nothing and nobody too seriously (not even myself), except Jesus, Christ, whom I take very seriously.

To the right of my rantings is a link to a "liberal" blogger called "Progressive Christian." I read his site daily to help me realize how the "others" think. I do not recommend it to you, neither do I NOT recommend it to you. Do as you like.

One of my faults (raise your hand if you thought I had none---what? No hands?) is common to many conservative Christians. I tend to get testy about my beliefs. Just ask Parker (see previous posts).

My denomination (the only really right one) tends to do all of the things that we Christians are supposed to do. It has: one of the largest missionary forces in the world; a massive disaster relief division; a great set of witnessing tools; a wide variety of Bible study literature; a vigorous discipleship ministry; many colleges, universities and seminiaries; hospitals and many other very neat things, all without affecting the autonomy of the local congregations in any way, shape or form.

Trouble is, the denominiation does so much, sometimes we individual Christians forget that we, too, are supposed to be PERSONALLY involved in one or more of these endeavors.

That's where the "liberal's" posts come in.

"Liberals" tend to have the proverbial "bleeding heart," getting personally involved with "feel good" efforts and sort of a "live and let live" outlook (Except, of course, when it comes to George Bush, for whom they are seemingly willing to lay all vestiges of civility aside and raile against.)

Maybe we "conservative," "fundamental" Christians could learn to be a little more "tolerant" in the sense of at least responding kindly to those with whom we disagree (except, of course, the next Democrat who gets elected president, against whom we may raile to our hearts' content, having been shown the way by "liberals").

Especially when we disagree with each other.

Jesus only railed against "religious" people...the Pharasees, et. al. I wonder which of us He might raile against (more properly: "...against whom He might raile").

Now the "burning" question: Did I use enough "quotation marks" in this "post?"

Please Pray

My good friend, Jeff, who was Best Man at my wedding, is in Bay Pines Hospital today for leg surgery. He has infection in and around a steel implant and they cannot get the IV in his veins. If they cannot do the surgery, he will loose his leg.

Jeff is a Vietnam Veteran, a faithful Christian, a "magician" with children, and wants to be a productive member of society.

He has turned it all over to the Lord, but if the Lord wills, my preference would be for the surgery to go well and Jeff be back in action in a few months.

Thanks for praying.

In His Name,
Joe

Justice Deserts

The following report about the Supreme Court Justice Souter, who voted for the taking of private land for commercial use, was found in FREESTAR MEDIA REPORT:

Weare, New Hampshire (PRWEB) Could a hotel be built on the land owned by Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter? A new ruling by the Supreme Court which was supported by Justice Souter himself itself might allow it. A private developer is seeking to use this very law to build a hotel on Souter's land.

I have no further comment.

World's Shortest Post

If you will click on the "Following God's Will" link at the right, you can click on a funny clip involving Tom Cruise and Oprah Winfry.

Nine Commandants

My political head is spinning so fast that I cannot get my bearings.

How on earth can a court consider itself "Supreme" when it cannot even issue a ruling that makes sense?

I think they should be issued large grinders and be required to grind the words "Supreme Court" from the building in which they are housed on the grounds that it promotes the religion of stupidity. Only the Supreme Court would deem that to be unconstitutional.

I know. Let's start a petition to get them all to resign. Then we can start over. Only the Supreme Court would deem that unconstitutional.

Maybe we could propose an amendment that would change the powers of the Supreme Court. Only the Supreme Court would deem it unconstitutional.

It would not suprise me if they declared ME unconstituional.

This court is about as supreme as a single item pizza from Pizza Hut.

But the pizza smells better.

A Biblical View of Tailoring

As you no doubt read a couple of posts ago, my wife has taken up sewing.

"Think of the money we can save, " she excitedly proclaimed.

Now, it is my experience that everytime my wife tells me she has or is going to save money, my bank account shrinks.

A few months ago, she bought a couple of outfits, which I later learned were about $15.00 each, a savings of about $3.99 each. My bank account balance went down $30.00.

If we keep saving money, I'll go broke.

Anyway, the sewing hobby is going to save us who knows how many thousands.

Like the new sewing machine. It saved us $103.oo, costing only $440.00, because it was a close-out.

Then there were the new needles, and the boxes and boxes of thread of evey color of the rainbow, as well as some colors the rainbow has never heard of. When will she ever use magenta, sepia or puce (did I spell that right?)? The account dropped $45.00.

Don't forget the material. She had to buy some to practice on and some to make the real thing out of. $75.00.

Now she needs two tables on which to sew. With plastic resin tops, one for $70.00 and one for $60.00.

While she saved me $132.49, my bank account suffered to the tune of $690.00!

Do you know how many outfits at $15.00 each she could buy with $690.00? 46.

Six years from now, when she completes her 46th outfit, we will begin realizing the savings from her new hobby. Only by then it will be time to buy a new sewing machine.

My wife finished her first skirt today and tried it on. It was too small. So she had to tear out the stitches and start all over, proving what the Bible says:

"Whatsoever a man seweth, that shall he also rip."

I'm Sorry You're So Sorry

Let’s see if I have it right.

Sen. Chuck Schumer denounces Tom Delay for demanding an apology from Sen. Durbin for equating the treatment of detainees at Gitmo with the treatment given by the Nazis.

Delay accused Durbin of "a pre-meditated and monstrous attack against America’s military."
Then, Schumer says Delay’s statement is "over Donne, over Unger and under Oveur,"* and demands an immediate apology from Delay. *From: Airplane II: The Sequal

Rove denounces Schumer, saying "Schumer's unpatriotic demand for an apology from Tom Delay, a great patriot, who properly called for an apology from Sen. Durbin…"

Then Barak Obama steps in. We don’t know what he stepped in, but he demands that Rove resign for demanding an apology from Schumer for demanding an apology from Durbin for demanding an explanation for Rumsfeld’s treatment of the detainees at Gitmo.

Rumsfeld is then impolite in response to the impolite questions from the Senators whose inquiring minds want to know.

And its all Bush's fault because Clinton believed there were weapons of mass distruction in Iraq before the Al Quidans from Afganistan killed more people than the Japaneese at Pearl Harbor, but if we said, "Please don't hurt us," they wouldn't.

Then they did.

And Clinton, who is no longer a player but keeps playing, said, "We thought there were weapons of mass destruction, but we really knew there weren't," which was true, but because Kerry said, "I actually voted for...before I voted against," we have Bush who will set it all straight.

Is it my imagination, or is this pretty convoluted?

In the immortal words of someone-or-other in a Shakespearean play (Marc Anthony in Julius Caesar, I think), "…sure are they all, all honorable men."

I’m worn out.

Well Sew What?

My wife has discovered sewing.

More correctly, she has discovered wanting to discover sewing.

So she began to sew a new outfit.

In order to see that the material she planned to sew was flat and neat, she began to iron it on our ancient, put-together-with-rivets ironing board, which promptly threatened to cast the iron from its topside onto her waiting foot.

Rushing to the rescue, I dove right in in my usual tact filled way.

"Why on earth are you using that depraved ironing board," cried I, giving close scrutiny of the base of each leg. "These legs are about to fall off!"

"It's all I have," said she, plaintively.

"Well you're not going to use that thing," I responded understandingly (right!), "We don't have insurance."

So Mr. hero to the rescue. Realizing that there is absolutely nothing in all of creation that one could want that he/she could not find on the Internet, I looked online for ironing boards.

A quick Google search revealed that there are 3,760,204 places from which to import ironing boards. There are 475,922 places where ironing boards are wholesaled.

Not one retailer of ironing boards was listed.

I went to sears dot com, jcpenny dot com and several fabric and sewing places dot com and not one dot had any ironingboards worthy of heated steel (or whatever the bottom of irons is made of these days).

Sew...I mean, so, I used an archaic device made of paper called The Yellow Pages AND a land line telephone (remember them?) and called around.

Nope. Nada. Nobody had a stupid ironing board (or a smart one, either).

Finally, a lady at Notions R Us, or some such place, suggested I try Bed and Breakfast. Make that Beds, Bath and Beyond.

I did. And they did. Have ironing boards, that is.

Now, I have never been to Beds, Bath and Beyond before. I tried once, but could not get beyond the beds. That's not really true, I have never even so much as wondered what was AT Beds, Bath and Beyond.

So, off we went in the midst of a Southwest Florida early Summer downpour to Beds, Bath and Beyond.

When we walked in the front door, I expected to see a few beds, some vanities and a collection of faucets.

What I found was a place piled high with EVERY conceivable household item a person could think of. I mean there was some of EVERYTHING! NOTHING any person could possibly imagine was left out. ALL of the merchandise you could ever conceptualize was there. Go ahead. Think of something. I'm telling you it was there!

Merchandise was piled so high that the store personnel needed ladders to reach stuff. And such ladders! All fire trucks in the country should be equipped with at least one of these ladders. And they were on wheels!

It was when I saw the ladders that I realized how they determined the width of the aisles. One ladder would fit in the aisle with 7/32 of an inch on either side.

Two buggys side-by-side were wider than one ladder. Therefore, while a ladder could be carefully negotiated down an aisle, two buggy pushers, as they approached each other, would have to seek an alternate route.

When I understood that, I understood why they were selling Global Positioning Satellite receivers and both aircraft and weather doppler radar units at the front door. Without one of each, it would be impossible to travel an aisle.

Having circumnavigated the store several times, we finally found the ironing boards, but not before I had found that most desired of all home appliances, my brand new, lighted, automatic turning, battery operated tie rack, which I buggied up with great fervor (well...I've never had one before!).

To make a long story short, which, by the time most people get around to SAYING it is too late to DO, we got our ironing board...a wide legged, welded apparatus of astonishing beauty. It is so stable you could park three horses on it (a pun, my word). I have to confess (well I don't HAVE to, but here goes) I have never seen the likes of it.

Uh...is there anybody out there who can give my wife lessons on beginning sewing? There is actually a book called "Sewing for Dummies," but we got lost on page two.

We have a nice ironing board.

We don't want it to go to waste.

What Did They Teach You to Preach?

Having been a charter member of S.W.I.N.E. (Students Wildly Indignant about Nearly Everything - an Al Capp organization formed by Lil' Abner), I have earned the right to speak on this subject, which is preaching in today's "evangelical" churches.

Pastors, I am after you today. Look out!

Most of the "preaching" I hear today is either philosophy, legalism or a combination of the two.

As I examine the truely growing churches in Florida (where I live), the US and around the world, I notice several things they for the most part have in common: 1) they operate in small groups or "cells;" 2) they are well organized; 3) they have a strong leader who sets the tone and direction but who then allows each leader to do his/her own leading within that framework; 4) they preach THE GOSPEL, as opposed to some general "the word."

I did a word study of PREACH in the New Testament. Here is what I found (there's a lot of it, so get ready):

NEW TESTAMENT REFERENCE TO PREACHING GOSPEL = The GOOD NEWS of Christ, His Life, His Death, His Burial and His Resurrection for the forgiveness of sin.

Mt 4:17 From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
Mt 10:7 And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand.
Mr 16:15 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
Lu 4:18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,
Lu 4:19 To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.
Lu 4:43 And he said unto them, I must preach the kingdom of God to other cities also: for therefore am I sent.
Lu 9:2 And he sent them to preach the kingdom of God, and to heal the sick.
Lu 9:60 Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.
Ac 5:42 And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.
Ac 15:21 For Moses of old time hath in every city them that preach him, being read in the synagogues every sabbath day.
Ac 16:10 And after he had seen the vision, immediately we endeavoured to go into Macedonia, assuredly gathering that the Lord had called us for to preach the gospel unto them.
Ac 17:3 Opening and alleging, that Christ must needs have suffered, and risen again from the dead; and that this Jesus, whom I preach unto you, is Christ.
Ro 1:15 So, as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also.
Ro 10:8 But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach;
Ro 10:15 And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!
Ro 15:20 Yea, so have I strived to preach the gospel, not where Christ was named, lest I should build upon another man's foundation:
1Co 1:17 For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.
1Co 1:23 But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumbling block, and unto the Greeks foolishness;
1Co 9:14 Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach the gospel should live of the gospel.
1Co 9:16 For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!
1Co 9:18 What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel.
2Co 2:12 Furthermore, when I came to Troas to preach Christ's gospel, and a door was opened unto me of the Lord,
2Co 4:5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.
2Co 10:16 To preach the gospel in the regions beyond you, and not to boast in another man's line of things made ready to our hand.
Ga 1:8 But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.
Ga 1:9 As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.
Ga 1:16 To reveal his Son in me, that I might preach him among the heathen; immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood:
Ga 2:2 And I went up by revelation, and communicated unto them that gospel which I preach among the Gentiles, but privately to them which were of reputation, lest by any means I should run, or had run, in vain.
Eph 3:8 Unto me, who am less than the least of all saints, is this grace given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ;
Php 1:15 Some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife; and some also of good will:
Php 1:16 The one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds:
Re 14:6 And I saw another angel fly in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach unto them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people,

NEW TESTAMENT REFERENCES TO “PREACH” THE WORD

NOTE: The phrase “the Word” references Jesus, the Logos.

Ac 16:6 Now when they had gone throughout Phrygia and the region of Galatia, and were forbidden of the Holy Ghost to preach the word in Asia,
2Ti 4:2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

GENERAL REFERENCES TO “PREACH”

Mt 10:27 What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops.
Mt 11:1 And it came to pass, when Jesus had made an end of commanding his twelve disciples, he departed thence to teach and to preach in their cities.
Mr 1:4 John did baptize in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins.

So why do preachers try to disciple from the pulpit? Why do they preach the "rules of Christian Living?" Are these things not better left to Discipleship Training groups?

Why do we hear so much legalism (even as they deny being legalistic..."I'm not trying to be legalistic, but...") and philosophy from the pulpit?

My examination of truely growing churches reveals that their leaders PREACH THE GOSPEL consistantly.

Woe to us if we don't.

Courting Disaster

Man! This has been a devastatingly disasterous day for our Country.

As you may know, I am a Constitutionalist. I consider The Constitution of the United States of America the rulebook of our country. As in a football game, you can't change the rules while the game is going on.

The Constitution guarantees us the right to life, liberty and property (not happiness...that's the Declaration of Independence).

The Constitution allows governments (city, state or federal)to exercise eminent domain, "buying" property at fair market value from its owner when it is necessary for the "public" good.

It does not allow the government to confiscate property for private use. That is until today.

In a five to four decision the Supreme Court rewrote The Constitution today, effectively saying that the government can take property for whatever reason it wants to.

Specifically the decision involved a city's right to take property for the construction of a private development because it would increase the tax rolls and that's in the public interest. The effect is to allow governments to alter the meaning of the concept of public interest.

What happened today may not seem like much...a few people, displaced, will have to find new homes. You may think the ruling does not affect you. Rest assured, though, today the very fabric of our nation has been changed.

We are now, officially - by judicial decree, a people of the Government, by the Government and for the Government. The government of the people, by the people and for the people that we used to have is gone.

Many people have warned of this day, but we were sure that it would never come and we're too big of a nation for it to matter. Not true, my friend. It has happened. And now we will plunge like Shriekra down the frictionless slope of Washington's endless thirst for control of our lives and our dependence upon them.

The Supreme Court has made a lot of stupid decisions in the past. A few have been righted over time. Let us pray that this one will be in short order.

Long live the Supreme Court! Maybe they have lived too long already.

How Sorry is Sorry?

Senator Richard Durbin of Illinois has "apologized" for remarks he made comparing the treatment of prisoners at Gitmo with those of the most murderous regimes of the most notorious despots the world has ever seen.

Only, according to his own website, he is not sorry he made the remarks, he is only sorry he offended those who think he went too far.

That, my friend, is NOT an apology.

Imagine if you were arrested for some alleged offense (of which you were not guilty, but the arresters thought there was possibility you might be...imagined or not). Where would you rather be incarcerated, in a Nazi concentration camp, a former soviet gulag, a Vietnamese prison or a prison run by The United States of America.

Do you want three square meals a day with snacks in between, or do you prefer gruel or rice?

If you like the meals best, pick the USA. If your preference runs toward gruel or rice, pick one of the others.

Do you prefer periods of outdoor activity, or is darkness and dampness your choice?

If you like sunshine and exercise, pick the USA. If your preference runs toward darkness and dampness, pick one of the others.

When you are questioned, do you want to be treated firmly but respectfully (the exception of Abu Grabe notwithstanding), or would you like to be prodded with electrical shock, have your finger nails pulled out or be beaten until you were a bloody pulp?

If you prefer firm respect, you should select the USA. If your preference runs toward being prodded with electrical shock, having your finger nails pulled out or being beaten until you were a bloody pulp, pick one of the others.

Do you prefer more nights when you can get eight hours of sleep, or would you rather be deprived of sleep for days or weeks on end?

If you like to sleep, pick the USA. If your preference runs toward being deprived of sleep for days or weeks on end pick one of the others.

Would you rather be allowed to have religious literature in your possession, or would you prefer to have to scratch verses you can remember on the concrete walls with smuggled hardware?

If you like your religious literature, pick the USA. If your preference runs toward scratching verses you can remember on the concrete walls with smuggled hardware, pick one of the others.

Do you prefer time of being with and/or socializing with others or do you prefer being alone in a dark, damp cell, having to tap morse code to the person in the next cell in order to have any social contact at all?

If you need at least some social contact, pick the USA. If your preference runs toward being alone in a dark, damp cell, having to tap morse code to the person in the next cell in order to have any social contact at all, pick one of the others.

Go ahead. Make your choice.

Bet I know which one you pick.

Senator, prove that you really are a man and an American. Make a real apology.

Staining the Glass

If you don't read my friend and co-worker, Parker's, blog, you should. It's the insanityfarmer link to the right.

Parker's latest post is a rap. Kinda neat. But it is to the previous one I would like to speak, the one about "Post Modernism."

When I was a teen-ager, thousands of years ago, I attended First Baptist Church of Warner Robins, Georgia.

Here's how it went: You came in and sat down and were quiet, because you were in "God's House."

The Hammond organist played something kinda classical sounding, and then softened the music to get everybody to stop whispering and start paying attention, as the choir entered the loft all decked out in their "standard choir robes," you know, the kind David wore when he wrote the Psalms.

The windows were stained glass, and each one had a candle holder which had a name that I cannot remember. A pair of candelabras graced the platform. There was a very large stained glass window that portrayed Jesus holding a child and a lamb, with several other children crowded around.

The choir sang, "The Lord Is In His Holy Temple," and the pastor gave an Invocation. The choir responded with, "Hear Our Prayer O Lord." Then we all sang a rendition of "Holy, Holy, Holy," a tempo at which we ran out of breath trying to make it to the end of each line, it being so majestic (read: slow).

A couple of young men used a long thingy to light the candles as we sang, the ones on the platform first, then the ones next to the windows.

After the song, the pastor prayed again, this time "The Morning Prayer." We know that because the bulletin said that's what it was.

We sang an "up-tempo" song that only took five minutes to sing three stanzas, then recited "The Lord's Prayer."

Next came the "Offertory Hymn," followed by an offertory prayer, the passing of the plates and the singing of "The Doxology," Praise God from Whom all blessings flow....

A lady (her name was always in the bulletin, but I don't remember it) with billy-goat tremolo in her operatic voice sang a "special," after which my mother always smiled and whispered to me, "That was nice."

The choir sang earnestly, if slightly off-keyly.

After a prayer, the pastor delivered a sermon which was followed by an "Invitation Hymn." When each respondant had been properly introduced to the congregation and we had voted to receive him/her/them (I was not a church member at the time, but I voted anyway...no one seemed to care.), we had a closing prayer followed by the choir's rendering of "God Be with You 'Till We Meet Again,"or the "Seven-fold Amen," and we all went home to the leg of lamb roasting in the oven in the automatically timed electric oven.

I spent most of every service challenging myself not to scratch my right ear, which always itched during worship services. To me, a young know-it-all, it was all very boring and totally irrelevant.

In the midst of all of the religious do-stuff, The Creator of the Universe and All That's In It, reached down and grabbed me by the heart. Wrestle as I would, He would not let it go, and one day I "gave up," and said, "OK, God. You want it? You've got it."

You know what? I soon joined the choir and earnestly sang with them, off-keyly.

God is sooo big and sooo strong and sooo good at Who He Is and What He Does, that he can reach anyone He wants to, any time He wants to, anywhere He wants to, no matter the setting.

Over the last several weeks, two children and one teenager were saved and baptized in the "blended-it-will-never-work" worship service over which I am honored to preside.

The thing is, it is not about our perceptions. It's not about using our creativity to "reach today's generation" or to "cowtow to the traditional crowd." It's not about what we like or don't like. It's not about our methods.

It's all about worshipping the Lord, Jesus. It's all about pointing folks to Jesus. It's all about getting our focus off of ourselves and our trappings. Whatever gets folks to do that is good, old or new.

You see, it's all about Him.

A Good Place to Die

I went to the emergency room when I had my heart attacks. Since I live near our local hospital, The Lehigh Medical Center, I went there. Made sense to me at the time.

The emergency room experience was not as good as it should have been, but not as bad as it could have been.

Then they admitted me to the hospital for testing.

I had not eaten since 2:00 pm, and since I suffer from acute reactive hypoglycemia, I was in dire need of some kind of protein. So I asked the nurse for some dinner (which I had been told in the ER would be no problem).

She informed me that the cafeteria was closed and no food was available. I objected that we would not have to worry about my heart if I did not get something to eat. The nurse told me not to get testy. The food service was closed and that was that.

At about 9:30 pm there came to my room a plastic tray with an unidentifiable concoction of chunky stuff (I think it was supposed to be meat), some hard green beans (I'm a southerner...we know how to cook green beans: hours and hours with pork, etc. [Yeah, no wonder I had a heart attack]) and a "dessert" that I just could not eat (maybe the first time that has ever happened with me). It had been microwaved.

But it did stave off hypoglycemic coma.

The TV/Nurse-call/Bed-operating module was nowhere to be found, and when I asked about it I was told someone would be in to find it. They have not shown up yet.

The man in the bed next to me was dying of colon cancer. He got up several times to use the bathroom, and when he did he left a brown trail as he walked. The nurse said she would get "housekeeping" to clean it up. Over an hour later they did.

The last scenario was repeated several times.

The bed. Ah the bed! The concrete floor of my patio is softer than the bed in the hospital.

A technician came in and put a 12 hour nitro glycerin patch on my arm. By the time she had cleared the door on the way out, the patch fell off. Since I had no call button, I went to the door and called down to the nurses station. No one looked up.

So, I walked to the nurses station. A man behind the counter looked up and said, "It is past lights out time. Go back to your room." Maybe I was in the psych ward...I don't know.

I told him my plight and he told me someone would be down with another one after while. I looked up the phrase "after while" on the Internet. It does not mean "9:00 the next morning."

At 11:00 am another technician came in and put another 12 hour patch on me.

Now I had two, so I took the old one off.

They put me on a diet that very day. Breakfast was slight and lunch was slighter.

During the morning a technician came in and put sticky electrical contacts all over me, leaving just enough skin showing to see that I, indeed, had had, somewhat earlier in my life, an umbilical cord attached.

I am a hairy type.

Later, a different technician came in to put a new set of contacts to replace the first ones (for whatever reason).

He commented, "They probably should have shaved your chest before they put these on."

He was right. But he didn't either.

Later, as I was being prepped to be discharged I was reminded of the truth of his statement.

I told the nurse I wished to leave. I was needing some sleep. My bed at home is somewhat softer than my concrete patio.

She said the doctor had not authorized my release. I said, "That's OK, I'll authorize it."

I think I heard a growl.

Later a person came in with some papers for me to sign that said something like: Lehigh Medical Center is not responsible for any consequences of any actions by the hospital that may result in negative results to the patient (me).

"How was your stay?" she asked.

Tears of laughter blotted my signature.

Some years ago I stayed two days at a Motel 6. It cost me about $30.00. My day and a half at Lehigh Medical Center came to $9,945.86. And I have not yet seen the bill from the ER physician, the lab, or my cardiologist.

And they charged me for three nitro glycerin patches.

Heart-to-Heart

Some of you may remember that about a month ago I had a series of heart attacks, 12 to be exact. Just in case you were wondering how I am doing, I thought I would bring you up to date.

After a couple of weeks of feeling like each day was my last, I finally got an appointment with my regular family physician (as opposed to my cardiologist). He put me on a slow release vasodialator (makes the blood vessels expand to let more blood flow) which has allowed me to feel better than I have felt in more than six months.

Don't know if one builds up a resistance to this med or not, but for now, at least, it is doing a good job.

Praise the Lord! Thank you for your prayers.

What Lies Ahead?

What if I were to tell you that I had just bought a new red car? What if you then told a friend that I had bought a new red car? What if it turns out that my new car is actually yellow? Would it be right to accuse you of lying to your friend?

What if it was my job to tell the President about weapons of mass destruction (or the lack thereof) in Iraq. What if I told him they had them? What if the President told the American people in a press conference that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. What if it turned out that they did not have them. Would it be right to accuse him of lying to the American people?

If you answered, “Yes,” to the last question in either of the above, you are completely unqualified to even venture an opinion on this subject (because you are blatantly dishonest and disingenuous), let alone to speak authoritatively about it, whether you are a U.S Congressman, a Senator or just an “average” American.

The U.S. and world intelligence community had the job of reporting to the President and to the world whether WMDs were in Iraq. They said they were, so the President reported such to us. He may have been misinformed, but he did not lie to us. At least not about that.

There are those calling for a complete withdrawal of our troops from Iraq. That would be the stupidest, most foolhardy thing we could do. It would be a disservice to those troops who have already given their lives for this cause. It would be a disservice to those troops who are presently serving there and it would be a disservice to The United States of America.

Now I know there are some of you who disagree with me on that. That is OK. This is America and you have the right to be wrong. And you know what? It is not our job to decide.

We have a Commander in Chief whose job it is to decide and he must do so. And we must let him.

Any other course would be a travesty.

Blogsleep

I can't tell you how many blogs I hve visited today that are just the same or almost the same as they were the last time I visited them.

Now I ask you, how can I pass the time reading people's blogs if I have already read all of the ones I regularly visit?

Must I go in search of some blog that I've never read before and risk disappointment at finding only inane babblings and ramblings?

And this on Fathers' Day weekend?

Wake up, people! The blogosphere is passing you by!

Where have all the blogger gone?
Long time passing?
Where have all the bloggers gone?
Long time ago?

The answer, my friend,
Is messin' around somewhere in cyber space.
The answer is in cyber space.

(Do you think that will ever sell)

I sure wish I coul wax poetic like Denise.

Probably you do, too.

Progressive Progress

There is a wonderful blog I read by a person who calls him/herself "A Progressive Christian." I totally disagree with almost everything he/she has to say, but I love it nonetheless because I like to be caused to think.

One of the issues we face today is our total lack of reading ability. We see something in writing, but we don't read what is actually there. Instead, we either read between the proverbial lines, or we insert our own points of view into the endeavor.

As an example, let us all read the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Find "the establishment clause."

There is none. (I know...the Supreme Court said otherwise, but what did they know?")

The verbage references "an establishment," not "the establishment." The difference is the difference between a verb and a noun.

How many sentences are there in the First Amendment?

There is only one. Each part, therefore, is subject to the whole, there being only one subject (Congress) and one predicate (shall make).

In the First Amendment, lawmakers are not prohibited from establishing a religion, they are prohibited from making laws respecting or prohibiting the free exercise of one that has been established. Neither can they abridge the freedom of the press or assembly and petition for the redress of grievances.

To be sure, the "founders" would not have wanted the government to establish a "state" religion. That was one of the very things they were fleeing.

Let us be clear about an important principle: Allowing something is not the same as establishing it.

Did you know that Thomas Jefferson, that alleged diest, that great "separationist," ordered that worship services be held on Sundays in a government building?

Poor guy. He must not have understood the "prohibition" put forth in his own writings. It's a good thing he has us, 200+ years later to set him straight.

Or could it be that we have mis-interpreted him?

Nah! Not us. We're too sophisticated...too scholarly...too politically correct.

Maybe he was smart after all. Maybe he understood that holding a worship service in a government building did not constitute establishing a religion.

Maybe allowing prayer in government places is not establishing a religion today, either.

You think?

(More to Come)

Can I be Elected?

I just had an idea.

Elect me Overseer of the President, Congress and the Senate.

Here's my platform:

1. Release all detainees at Guantanamo.
2. Stop looking for Bin Laden(how do you spell his name, anyway?) and release Saddam Hussein
3. Open U.S. borders to anyone and everyone
4. Remove security at airports and other travel venues
5. Allow anyone to say anything and everything without regard to civility, location, situation or anything else
6. De-criminalize crime (except those against me)
7. Bring the troups home from everywhere
8. Disband the military
9. Do away with the FBI, CIA, State Highway Patrols, Sheriff's Departments and Police Departments
10. Remove all traffic signals and stop signs - institute honking at all intersections
11. Do not allow any person with religious convictions of any kind to serve in any political office, including, but not restricted to, those who are: Christians; Muslims; Hindi; New Age; Athesists; Agnostics; Buddists; etc.
12. Make the use of left turn signals illegal (but not punishable by any action because all crime has been de-criminalized...remember?)
13. Close all schools - we're smart enough already
14. Illegalize profit-making. People should be in business to help others
15. No taxes of any kind. Period.
16. People should be allowed to do anything to their own bodies and lots of things to the bodies of others.
17. "Please" and "Thank You" will be eliminated from our vocabularies. They should be replaced by "No problem." or "What, Me Worry?"
18. Filibusters will be required before all votes in the House of Congress and the Senate
19. Government healthcare should be instituted and, since there are no taxes, paid for through corruption and other esoteric means.
20. If you don't like something someone says, or does, or if you don't like where they go or what they do...shoot 'em

So. Will you vote for me?

In the immortal words of Pat Paulson, "If nominiated, I will not run and if elected I will not serve."

You know...I'll bet there are some of you who react to this as if I am serious.

Am I?

Cramming

Well, a neighbor asked me why I go to church every Sunday. So I told him.

I told him how I grew up the son of an Air Force officer. I told him how we went regularly to the Air Force chapel because that was what nice people did. I told him how, when we moved to Warner Robins, Georgia, we went to the First Baptist Church. I told him how I heard the Good News that though I had sinned and that sin would separate me from God forever, He had paid the penalty for my sin in the person of His Son, Jesus, who was crucified to pay for my sin. I told him how I asked Jesus into my life, that He came in and has lived there ever since, and has given me the promise of eternity with the Father. I told him that Jesus would do the same for him if he would ask him into his life.

You know what he said to me? He said, "You Christians are always trying to cram your religion down peoples' throats!"

Say what?

He asked me!

Besides, I did not say he had to ask Jesus into his heart. I said that if he did he would get the same result I got.

There is only one entrance to the sub-division in which I live. If you want to get to my house, you have to turn on and follow the road that enters my sub-division. If you don't turn there, you will not get to my house. Period. It's the only way.

That's pretty narrow minded. There ought to be many ways to get to my house. There should be a road from the North, one from the West, and one from the South, as well as the one from the East. But there aren't.

It's a free country. Try any way you want to get to my house. Maybe you'd like to try Interstate-10. Or perhaps US-41 would be more fitting to your lifestyle. There's a beautiful scenic road through Floral City, very pleasing to the senses. Go ahead...knock yourself out.

You won't get to my house and you won't enjoy the feast I have prepared for you.

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me."

Bring 'em On

Today my world was crushed.

My good friend and co-worker, Parker, told me that my insidious writings might offend somebody who lives in our town and who recognizes me and who then will come after me and do me in.

I don't know how in the world he got the idea that I might offend any one. Sweet little ole harmless me?

Come on, Parker, cut me some slack! Give me a break! Get a grip! Lighten up! Get over it! (By the way, do you think I'll make it to plane 5?)

And to you who might recognize me and subsequently come after me, I say...

Bring 'em on!

(But please...be gentle.)

Joe

Attributing God

This will be the last of the "theological" posts for a while. I heard the collective "whew!"

Everything you need to know about God is found in the Word of God. Nothing you need to know about God is not found in the Word of God. Anything you think you know about God that is not in the Word of God, you just made up.

It is complete. That's why we don't need any more revelation about God.

Here is the short list of what the Word of God reveals about God:

1. God is omnicient (all knowing)
2. God is omnipotent (all powerful)
3. God is Omnipresent (everywhere at once)
4. His right hand spans the universe...He is larger than our imaginations
5. He is all righteous
6. He is sovereign (He's the absolute boss)
7. He is just (according to His sense of judgement, not ours)
8. He is fair (according to His sense of fairness, not ours)
9. He is our savior through Christ
10. God is the definition of love
11. God is the Creator (not the re-distributor)
12. God is our provider
13. He is our protector
14. He is faithful
15. He is worthy of our praise
16. God is jealous (allows the worship of no one and nothing else)
17. God is infinite
18. God is our supreme counselor
19. He is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to Him through Christ.
20. He is Father, Son and Holy Spirit all at once (He is Elohim - the plural God of oneness. I can't explain that, so don't ask.)

That list represents fewer than one fifth of the general attributes of God found in the Word of God.

He loves each of us as though we were the only ones who need His love and paid our sin debt at the cross.

He asks us to believe in Him through Christ, and if we will, we will dwell with Him eternally.

That is the completeness of the Word of God.

The Breadth of Sin

We have assumed the existance of God for the purposes of these posts. You can see previous posts to find out why.

The purpose of the Bible has been explained. We said that the Bible is God's revelation of His love for His creation and His plan for its redemption.

When I was a teenager I built model airplanes. I carefully placed every rib, strut and bukhead. The frame was sanded smooth and the "silkspan" was doped on. When the project was completed I could see that it was good. There was no small measure of pride eminating from my being.

If I had placed the airplane on the shelf and simply admired it, that skillfully crafted model would never have fulfilled its purpose. It was finished. There was no more to add. It was time to fly.

God skillfully inspired the Bible in such a way that it reveals every aspect of His nature. There is nothing left out. Everything we need to know about God is found in the Word of God. Nothing we need to know about God is not found in the Word of God. Everything we think we know about God that is not in the word of God, we just made up.

That is why we can completely trust His Word. It is complete. Absolutely anything we could say about God that is true has been said in His Word. Anything further said is pure redundancy.

Since we can trust His Word, we can believe what it teaches about sin.

Taken contextually and in summary, sin is anything we do, think or say that is not in the absolute dead center of God's perfect will.

Since none of us can hit His will dead center with any consistancy, we all sin. That is why the Bible is correct to say "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God."

Because God is absolutely perfect, holy and reghteous, He cannot even look upon sin, let alone excuse it. He showed His creation early on that the consequences of sin incurred a debt. That debt had to be paid, no exceptions and no excuses.

He further declared that there would come a time when every soul that ever has lived, is living and ever will live shall stand before Him and give an account (a bookkeeping term) of the sin debt he/she owes.

When we stand before him we can (and probably will) try to justify (another bookkeeping term) ourselves to Him by trying to convince Him that our good deeds outweigh our bad deeds and therefore He should allow us entrance to His eternal dwelling called "Heaven."

In the Old Testament book of Isaiah we read, "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away."

The best thing I ever did is like a filthy rag in the sight of God. That's because of the very sin nature we have inherited from dear old Adam and Eve when they disobeyed God by eating the fruit of the fobidden tree.

If that is true, then there is no hope for me...or, for that matter, for you.

I "loved" my model airplane, because I built it. God loves mankind because He didn't just build it, He created it.

So God devised a way from the foundations of time (and before) to pay the sin debt for us.

He, in the person of His Holy Spirit, impregnated a young woman and allowed her to give birth to Him in the form of a baby whom she named, at God's very instruction, Jesus.

That is the most outlandish thing I have ever heard. It is totally impossible. It had never happened before, has never happened since and will never happen again. But it did happen. That once. That is the miracle of the birth of Christ.

He was called "Son of God," "Son of Man," "Redeemer" and "Logos" (Word).

The Gospel of John begins, "In the beginning was the Word (Logos) and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him and without him was not anything made that was made."

This "Logos" referred to in John is Jesus. He is the creator. God is the creator. Therefore God and Jesus are the same.

That is the very point that differentiates Christianity from every religion, belief system, sect or cult. This is it: Jesus is God.

That was His claim. The Pharasees knew that He claimed to be God. That is why they wanted Him killed. They accused Him of blasphemy. They tried Him or had Him tried at least five times on that very charge.

Jesus was either telling the truth, lying or He was delusional.

If He was lying or delusional, He is not worthy of being called either a good man or a prophet. If He was lying or delusional, He is not worthy of followship.

Conversely, if He was neither lying nor delusional, then He had to have been who He claimed to be. And if He was who he claimed to be, we would be well served to pay attention to Him.

He said some very disturbing things. For instance He said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No man comes to the Father but by me." Was that a lie, a delusion or the truth?

Jesus said, "I and the Father are one." Was that a lie, a delusion or the truth?

In John 3:3 He said, "Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." Was that a lie, a delusion or the truth?

The central theme of all of the Bible is John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Was that a lie, a delusion or the truth?

So the real issue is not the religious system to which you subscribe, the real issue is: Do you believe Jesus was lying, delusional or telling the truth. The ultimate question is: What do you believe about Jesus.

The dependable, unfailing, complete revelation of god called the Bible says that if you do not believe Jesus you are condemned (John 3:18), but, "...if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."

Choose the one you like. I fervently pray that you will choose Jesus.

You and I will both be glad you did.

In His Name, Joe

A Revealing Revelation

Part Two

This discussion will assume that God exists.

So, if God exists, and if He must reveal Himself to us because we cannot fathom Him, how would He do such a thing?

Would He reveal Himself in flora and fauna (live nature)? He might reveal His power, or His abilities or some other attribute of Himself, but He could not reveal His "selfness" in them because such a revelation would be meaningless to us. Revelation requires communication. Vegetation and animals cannot communicate with us.

I have been in the communication business for all of my adult life and some of my pre-adult life. Trust me. Plants and animals do not communicate with us (us dog lovers notwithstanding). Whatever we receive from them we read in to them to begin with. (I've already heard the arguments. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.)

If a rose bush's leaves begin to wither, the bush is not trying to communicate that it is thirsty. Withered leaves are the result of lack of water. That's what happens. The rose bush initiates nothing. It just responds to its various stimuli or lack thereof.

My wonderful pug, Charlie, begins this absurd spinning and bouncing every single time I start to put his feeding dish on the floor. Is he communicating with me that he is thankful for the food? No. He is nervously reacting to the anticipation of receiving the one thing he responds to more than anything else in the world...FOOD!

But he is not communicating with me. He is totally focused on himself and his benefit. I gather from his actions that he likes food.

If God had chosen to communicate with us through plants and animals, He would be a poor communicator and we would never be able to figure out what He was saying.

One of my least favorite expressions is, "God was trying to tell me something."

Poor God. Is He is so enept at "telling us something" that He can only try? I think not.

God, if He is God (and let's assume that He is), He could certainly communicate with His own creation.

Maybe this God would reveal His "selfness" in the forces of nature. Maybe He would reveal Himself in volcanos, tornados or earthquakes. Perhaps tsunami would be His choice.

Things that kill His creation? What a mean, capricious God that would be.

Wait a minute. We just used up all of nature. What's left?

How about giving us impressions in our minds?

During trips to mental institutions when studying psychology at Stetson University, I met many people who claimed that God "spoke" to them.

I have met more than a few since then.

How do we sort out to whom God has spoken and to whom He has not?

If God is as smart as He is supposed to be, He would have to communicate with us in as way that is consistant over time.

As a university student, I read the sacred writings of many of the world's religions. I'll save the one-by-one exposition for another post.

Suffice to say that some were no more than a collection of wise sayings or advice. A few were beautifully phrased pieces of poetry. Several were an inconsistant mass of jumbled and unrelated nonsense. One was claimed to have been dictated by God to a 19th century person in 12th century English. Another took an accepted text and "retranslated" it using men who were not educated in its original languages, but who claimed to have been. The most insidious one was the essence of mixed messages and advocated the distruction of all who did not accept its precepts.

One book I read was a collection of books written over many generations, in several languages, by many different authors, some old, some young, which had a central theme and details so intertwined that it would have required hundreds of conspiracies by people willing to sacrifice their lives to have accomplish it.

This book contains predictions of specific events, where these events would take place, and one person around whom these events would be centered. Every one of these has been historically fulfilled, except for those which are to happen at a designated time in our future.

Over the years I have come to believe that God breathed into the minds and hearts of the authors the things He wanted them to write. To say that He spoke to them is the only way I have of expressing the communication He surely had with them. I have found that I can trust it message completely.

We know this book as The bible.

Not a rule book, not a history book, not a science book, not a geology or geography book, though it can be trusted in each of these disciplines, the Bible is God's revelation of His love for His creation and His plan for its redemption.

The Bible is the book I quoted in my last post. It is the book that says, "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God."

It also says, "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 6:23)

Therein lies the solution to the sin problem.

In my next post I will explain the bredth of the "sin problem," and tell you how its solution can be applied in your own life.

You're gonna love it.

The Solution

In my last post I promised the solution to the issue of sin.

So here we go with part one.

I'm going to start with a statement: Either there is a God, or there is not a God. How's that for logic?

If there is no God, then there is no reason to assign any importance to anything. We are nothing more than an accident of some natural cosmic occurance. We are no better and no worse than a rock in the garden. Life actually becomes all about self. Kill or be killed. Eat or be eaten. Exist for a few decades (or not) and then die and decay.

If that brings you hope and satisfaction, please explain to me why. Explain love. Explain art. Explain joy. Explain depression. Explain learning. Explain bonding. Explain right. Explain wrong. Explain society. Explain laws. Explain why someone should not be free to just snuff out your existance.

Why does a mother get so upset when her child is killed in a car wreck? Can she not make more? Why does a young man decide to risk his life on a battlefield for his country? Why does a person get up every morning to go do some job for someone he/she neither likes nor appreciates just so that he and his family can eat and live? That would never matter to a rock.

You've got a lot of explaining to do.

Please don't give me that "survival of the species" nonsense. If we are just an accident, the survival of our species is unimportant. Lots of species have come and gone. One more just won't matter that much. Maybe you'd volunteer to be the first to go. But I doubt it. Neither would I.

If there is a God, we need to know it. We need to know who He is, what He is, why He is. If there is a God, we need to know how to know Him. Otherwise, He would be an eternal enigma and His existance would make no difference and we should just revert to the previous paragraphs.

Let's define what we are talking about. Here's Webster's definition. God: 1 capitalized : the supreme or ultimate reality. The Being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshiped as creator and ruler of the universe; 2 : a being or object believed to have more than natural attributes and powers and to require human worship; specifically : one controlling a particular aspect or part of reality; 3 : a person or thing of supreme value4 : a powerful ruler

How would we know about such an entity?

We could use our imaginations, but that would give a different God for each imagination. It's been done and it does not work so well.

Perhaps we could examine the evidence. The trouble with that is that two people examining the same evidence often come to different conclusions.

There are several other possibilities, but for the purposes of this writing two will suffice.

In the end, if God is supreme, if He is "infinite," He will have to reveal Himself to us or we're hopelessly mired in if-thens.

We might just as well be rocks.

(To be continued)

Gitmo Goings On

Nobody in his/her right mind would be so disrespectful of another human being as to intentionally dishonor that which they hold sacred.

Don't you wish that were true?

Maybe the operative words are, "...in his/her right mind...", but I'm not really certain about that.

It is my exerience, long and varried as it is, that everybody disrespects somebody, or everybody, else at one time or another.

The question is: Why do we do that?

The answer is simple but complicated. (Hmmm.)

God gave one rule to the first man and woman. Just one. If you only have one rule...how hard is that? Think of the absolute freedom that would represent from the tens of thousands of rules we have today. "Enjoy the garden, all of the garden. Knock yourselves out. Have fun. Feast away, but do not eat of the fruit of the tree in the midst of the garden," He told them.

Guess which one they wanted.

Why in creation couldn't God have put you, or even me, in that garden instead of that weak wimp, Adam. We would have been wise enough to recognize how much we had and would NEVER have even wanted to lick the fruit in the midst of the garden, let alone eat it. Yeah....right.

Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."

I don't like that verse. It offends me. I hate what it is saying. It is so insensitive. It is so true.

All I have to do is to be honest with myself to recognize its truth in me. You, too, by the way.

So we go about doing things that are short of God's mark for us, including, but not restricted to, disrespecting each other, even when we pretend that we give every person the respect he/she deserves.

Was Qu'ran disrespected by any of our troups in Cuba? I don't know. But it would not surprise me.

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that someone, somewhere, sometime did dishonor Qu'ran. What would be the proper response?

I know! Let those who "live by Qu'ran" kill some of their own countrymen, create mayhem in the streets, and express vile and corrupt words because they are angry about those who disrespected their Holy Book.

Let those who do not like those who kill some of their own countrymen, create mayhem in the streets, and express vile and corrupt words get really mad and start killing them.

Then let those who don't like those who don't like those who kill some of their own countrymen, create mayhem in the streets, and express vile and corrupt words, kill them.

Good thinking!

That will solve a lot.

Did you know that there are those who don't believe that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God?

How head-in-the-sand, rosey-colored-glasses, idiotic, stupid, disingenuous, hard-headed, don't-like-truth-when-it-is-staring-me-in-the-face are they?

In my next post, the real solution. Stay tuned.

Friends

Thousands of you have read about my friend and co-worker, Parker.

It may well come a surprise to you, but I have another great friend. His name is Jeff.

Jeff was Best Man at my wedding, has provided housing for me and has just been a good friend.

Some time ago, Jeff was in a motorcycle accident, badly injured his leg, and has been trying to get it back in shape ever since.

It was almost a done deal, when he got a pretty bad infection in the leg. He now faces more rounds of treatmentand who knows what all.

Please pray for Jeff.

By the way, Jeff is the one who introduced me to blogging. So you owe him a debt as well. Without him, you would not be able to read those parts of my mind that I lay down in print. Wouldn't you miss that?

At any rate, Jeff has a site at eighteenwheels.blogspot.com. You would enjoy reading what he has to say.

Hey, Jeff...get well!

Joe

Such Arrogance!

ar·ro·gance Pronunciation: 'ar-&-g&n(t)sFunction: noun: a feeling or an impression of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or presumptuous claims.

The above definition was gleaned from Webster's online dictionary.

There are those who think my writings are arrogant. I, of course, have no idea how they could come to this conclusion.

Since I am completely devoid of feeling, there is no way the "feeling" of superiority could be conveyed.

As for "impression," it is my opinion that those who criticize my style are just too impressionable.

For the purposes of this post, I will simply let the word "superiority" stand on its own.

"Overbearing?" Where does anyone get off calling me "overbearing?" If there is anything you must never do it is to call me "overbearing." In fact, I expressly forbid you to even think of me as overbearing, let alone call me that.

I have no manners. I am a pathological, putrid piece of protoplasm, whose prime purpose on this painful path of pedantic progress is to pause and ponder profound platitudes.

Let's just all agree to presume that I am right.

In Love...Joe

Bible Ography

The other day a friend of mine was espousing a doctrine with which I disagreed. He quoted a few Scripture verses to support his point of view and then got this look on his face like, "OK big guy. refute that!"

So refute I did. (That's one of the things I'm particularly good at.)

What interested me about it was his assumption that I had never read those Scriptures or had never considered them in that light before.

As you have read in my previous posts (you have read my previous posts have you not?), I have read the entire Bible several times. I have more than a little seminary training and know the basic principles laid out in God's Word. Forty-four years in ministry have helped.

I have developed my entire "theology" based on my understanding of the whole, not just selected parts of the Bible.

Why in the world would anybody base an entire "Biblical" world-view based on less than the whole of the Word?

Yet whole denominations, sects, cults and occult groups have been formed on one or a few verses from here and there put together inappropriately.

Would it be apropriate to read "Gone with the Wind" and conclude that it was a book about firefighting? Of course not.

So why read a verse of the Bible and conclude that it dictates a theological direction?

In future posts, I will expound on some specifics.

In the meantime rest in the knowledge that I recognize that someone as brilliant as you can see that I'm right.

Joe

A Funny Thing Happened

This is that for which you have been waiting breathlessly.

Get ready to be able to breathe again.

The time has come for me to reveal to you my favorite commedian(s).

Now, no fair looking ahead. I will list them in order from my very favorite to my very well liked, #1 being my favorite, larger numbers (whole integers) sequentially to my less favorite. (Less favorite?)

See, now you've already peeked ahead. DON'T DO THAT!

Are you ready?

Here goes.

#1 Gracie Allen (of George Burns and Gracie Allen)
#2 Steven J. Wright (HBO et. al.)
#3 Johnny Carson
#4. David Brenner
#5. Victor Borge
#6. Norm Crosby
#7. Jack Benny
#8. Stan Frieberg
#9. Art Carney
#10.Red Skelton

Now here's what I liked about them.

Gracie Allen thinks just like me. Scatterbrained, obtuse, flaky.
Steven J. Wright is so out of the box. Check his website or just Google on him and you'll see.
Johnny Carson was so pixiesk and quick witted.
David Brenner always puts into words the obvious, eg: Why do they put braile on the drive-up bank keys?
Victor Borge could make music funny and exciting.
Norm Crosby knew how to use big words in a cock-eyed way, or the wrong word and make it seem right.
Jack Benny was a master of situations.
Stan Frieberg is completely zaney.
Art Carney was the smartest "dummy" on three continents.
Red Skelton was the most gentlemanly humorist ever.

They could all make you laugh without any vulgarity of any kind ever.

So many of today's comics are so unimaginative and uncreative that they all have only one subject.

It's like you to whom they address their "comedy" are so stupid that you only understand that one thing.

I don't want to mention what "that one thing" is, but its initials are S.E.X.A.N.D.D.E.G.R.A.D.A.T.I.O.N.