1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested.
"Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"
Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
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2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed in a fire, and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
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3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted,
"Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded,
"Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
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4. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the Medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
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5. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely, saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
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6. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one Slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides.
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7. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
A Study in Luke Week 20
Luke Chapter 20
Verses 1-8 – It was Jesus’ custom to teach in the Temple. His teachings were about the Good News (Greek: gospel).
The chief priests were already upset with Jesus because He had scolded them on way too many occasions and He had broken up their “racket” of selling offerings for exorbinant prices.
Their question of Jesus authority addressed all of His contradictions of their teachings, as well as calling them hypocrites and theives.
Jesus’ response to them backed them into both a theological and a practical corner. When they pretended not to know the answer, Jesus told them he wouldn’t answer them, either.
Verses 9-18 – This parable was aimed directly at the Pharisees and priests. Throughout history, God had sent men to the Jews to show them the way, but they ultimately rejected them all. So God sent His only Son, Jesus. The rejected Him, too.
According to verses 16-18, those who reject Him will be “killed,” that is, they will not go to Heaven, but will spend eternity in Hell.
Verses 19-26 – Still trying to trick and arrest Jesus, the religious leaders paid some men to go trap Him. Their question was about paying taxes (like they really cared about paying taxes to Rome).
Jesus’ answer confounded them. They simply could not trap Him. Unbeknownst to them, Jesus was a bit smarter than they were (if you’ll pardon the understatement).
Verses 27-40 – Some Sadducees, a group of Jewish leaders who did not believe in resurrection, threw another trick question at Him. The give him an elaborate hypothetical situation and ask Him to solve their theological riddle.
Jesus’ response indicated their total lack of understanding of what Heaven and eternal life was all about. He stopped them in their theological tracks.
They had wanted to make Jesus (as well as the Pharisees, who believed in a resurrection) look foolish, but they ended up with egg all over their own faces.
Verses 41-44 – In these verses, Jesus references Psalm 110 and applies it to Himself. In His statement, He was telling these teachers of the Law that Messiah was not a military hero, but was a king whom the people would love.
He was also confirming his genealogy not as a physical son of David, but of David’s “line” through God, Himself.
Verses 45-47 – Like I have said so often, “Be careful of theologians. They will do everything they can to confuse you and will be wrong 99.999% of the time.”
Jesus warns agains following the teachers of the Law. Their major attributes were their preoccupation with their outward appearance (long clothes), their showing off to the people and making certain that they got seats of honor at their public appearances.
As members of the New Covenant, we must remember that we are accepted based on our trust in, and only in, the finished work of Christ at the cross of Calvary and His resurrection (despite what the Sadducees thought).
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
A Study in Luke Week 19
Luke Chapter 19
Verses 1-10
Verse 1: Jericho was a wealthy and important city. It was near a main route for trade. It was about 17 miles from Jerusalem.
Verse 2:Zacchaeus was the head of the tax district of Jericho. He would not have been popular. He worked for the Romans and had made himself rich by his job.
Verses 3-4: He had heard that Jesus was a friend of tax collectors. He climbed into a tree that grew by the road.
Verses 5-6: Jesus did not ask to stay with Zacchaeus. He said that he ‘must’ stay with him. It was part of his work for God.
Verse 7: Everyone called Zacchaeus a ‘sinner’. They did not think that Jesus should go into his home.
Verse 8: Zacchaeus stood up, as he was going to make an important statement. Jesus’ visit had changed his attitude to his wealth. He would give half of his goods to the poor people. He promised to pay back 4 times the amount that he had taken. This was far more than the Law of Moses ordered, which was original amount plus one fifth (Leviticus 6:5).
Verse 9: Jesus said that Zacchaeus was not only a physical descendant of Abraham. Because of his faith, he was a true spiritual son of Abraham (Galatians 3:7). And his whole family would benefit.
Verse 10: Jesus came into the world to look for those who had wandered away from God. He came to rescue them.
Verses 11-27 – This parable teaches that people who use their gifts find that they increase. Some people do not use the gifts that God gives. They will lose them.
Verses 28-40 – By using the Hebrew word, “Hosanna,” The people were welcoming their Messiah. The Pharisees could not stop the crowd from shouting. So, they asked Jesus to tell them to be quiet. (Verse 40) Nothing could stop the crowd. Jesus used a phrase that showed that. It was right that they should praise God. Everything that God created would praise him.
Verses 41-44 – Jesus wept over the past, the present and the future of Jerusalem. He knew that His chosen people would reject the object of their salvation. Josephus was a Jewish historian. He wrote a book called ‘The history of the Jewish war’. In it he writes, “When the Romans seized Jerusalem, they killed all the inhabitants, young and old. Titus (a leader) ordered his soldiers to destroy the city completely. Future visitors would not believe that the city had ever been there”
Verses 45-48 – In one part of the Temple, merchants had erected stalls. Animals for the sacrifices had to be perfect. People could buy them in the city for a much cheaper price. But it was safer to buy them in the Temple. Here, the merchants said that the animals were perfect. They weren’t, but the priests said they were. People had to pay the annual Temple tax in special coins. There were stalls where people could exchange their money for the special coins. The men who changed money were charging far too much. All these stalls belonged to the family of the chief priest, Annas.
(47-48) The religious leaders wanted to kill Jesus for messing up their business, but dared not because of the people who wanted to hear Him.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
A STUDY IN LUKE WEEK 18 IS BEING REPEATED DUE TO A PRIOR COMMITMENT
Luke Chapter 18
In this chapter we are given two parables about prayer, a statement about who can be saved, the relationship of obedience to the Law to salvation, a reminder that Jesus will fulfill the predictions of the prophets concerning Him and the healing of a blind man.
Verses 1-8 – Dr. Luke tells us the meaning of the parable before he reveals Jesus’ telling of it.
As many theologians have asked, if God is omniscient and knows what we need before we ask, why does Jesus tell us to keep on praying (bothering the judge)? A) He is testing our faith; B) He doesn’t really know everything; C) He wants us to keep our focus on Him; D) He really enjoys seeing us beg.
The answer is C).
Verses 9-14 – Who were these people who were sure they were better than anybody else? The context and the illustration indicate that it was the Pharisees.
The Pharisee proceeded to explain to God all the wrong things he had not done. He referenced himself with the word “I” at least 8 times in six short sentences. He had a case of “I” trouble. All of his alleged goodness did not earn God’s favor; not his fasting, not his faithfulness to his wife, not his tithing, not his lack of greed and not his “justice.”
The “tax-collector,” on the other hand, recognized his short-comings and brought them before God, who accepted his humility and repentance.
One of those men left the Temple green and wrinkled. The other left re-born.
Verses 15-17 – The disciples didn’t get it. They thought the children would be a bother to Jesus. Jesus used them to teach us that the only way we can enter God’s kingdom is like a little child: by being trusting; by believing; and by accepting God’s gift with joy and thanksgiving.
Verses 18-30 – When Jesus asked the “rich young ruler” why he called Him “good,” that only God is good, He was identifying Himself as one with God.
The ruler claimed to have kept all of the commandments. It was not true, but he said that it was. Jesus made it clear that the keeping of the commandments would not bring him salvation. The only way he could receive salvation was to forsake all of himself and follow Jesus. That did not sit so well with the rich young ruler.
The people listening, probably including the Pharisees were astonished. They thought riches were a sign of God’s acceptance and just rewards.
Verses 31-34 – This is the third time Jesus speaks of his death in accordance with the predictions of the prophets. The disciples still did not understand. They would not understand until after Jesus’ death and resurrection…in fact, not until Pentecost (Acts 1-3).
Verses 35-43 – In this healing, Jesus did not touch the man (Bartemaus, according to Mark 10:16) or require any act of him. He just declared him healed and commended his faith.
The man’s reaction was to thank Jesus and to follow Him. The crowd praised Him, too.
Once again we see that following Jesus is about faith, not works. We see that it costs us our 100% allegiance to Him. It requires our faith in, and only in, the finished work of Jesus at the cross of Calvary and His resurrection.
In this chapter we are given two parables about prayer, a statement about who can be saved, the relationship of obedience to the Law to salvation, a reminder that Jesus will fulfill the predictions of the prophets concerning Him and the healing of a blind man.
Verses 1-8 – Dr. Luke tells us the meaning of the parable before he reveals Jesus’ telling of it.
As many theologians have asked, if God is omniscient and knows what we need before we ask, why does Jesus tell us to keep on praying (bothering the judge)? A) He is testing our faith; B) He doesn’t really know everything; C) He wants us to keep our focus on Him; D) He really enjoys seeing us beg.
The answer is C).
Verses 9-14 – Who were these people who were sure they were better than anybody else? The context and the illustration indicate that it was the Pharisees.
The Pharisee proceeded to explain to God all the wrong things he had not done. He referenced himself with the word “I” at least 8 times in six short sentences. He had a case of “I” trouble. All of his alleged goodness did not earn God’s favor; not his fasting, not his faithfulness to his wife, not his tithing, not his lack of greed and not his “justice.”
The “tax-collector,” on the other hand, recognized his short-comings and brought them before God, who accepted his humility and repentance.
One of those men left the Temple green and wrinkled. The other left re-born.
Verses 15-17 – The disciples didn’t get it. They thought the children would be a bother to Jesus. Jesus used them to teach us that the only way we can enter God’s kingdom is like a little child: by being trusting; by believing; and by accepting God’s gift with joy and thanksgiving.
Verses 18-30 – When Jesus asked the “rich young ruler” why he called Him “good,” that only God is good, He was identifying Himself as one with God.
The ruler claimed to have kept all of the commandments. It was not true, but he said that it was. Jesus made it clear that the keeping of the commandments would not bring him salvation. The only way he could receive salvation was to forsake all of himself and follow Jesus. That did not sit so well with the rich young ruler.
The people listening, probably including the Pharisees were astonished. They thought riches were a sign of God’s acceptance and just rewards.
Verses 31-34 – This is the third time Jesus speaks of his death in accordance with the predictions of the prophets. The disciples still did not understand. They would not understand until after Jesus’ death and resurrection…in fact, not until Pentecost (Acts 1-3).
Verses 35-43 – In this healing, Jesus did not touch the man (Bartemaus, according to Mark 10:16) or require any act of him. He just declared him healed and commended his faith.
The man’s reaction was to thank Jesus and to follow Him. The crowd praised Him, too.
Once again we see that following Jesus is about faith, not works. We see that it costs us our 100% allegiance to Him. It requires our faith in, and only in, the finished work of Jesus at the cross of Calvary and His resurrection.
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Thursday, November 01, 2012
A Study in Luke Week 18
Luke Chapter 18
In this chapter we are given two parables about prayer, a statement about who can be saved, the relationship of obedience to the Law to salvation, a reminder that Jesus will fulfill the predictions of the prophets concerning Him and the healing of a blind man.
Verses 1-8 – Dr. Luke tells us the meaning of the parable before he reveals Jesus’ telling of it.
As many theologians have asked, if God is omniscient and knows what we need before we ask, why does Jesus tell us to keep on praying (bothering the judge)? A) He is testing our faith; B) He doesn’t really know everything; C) He wants us to keep our focus on Him; D) He really enjoys seeing us beg.
The answer is C).
Verses 9-14 – Who were these people who were sure they were better than anybody else? The context and the illustration indicate that it was the Pharisees.
The Pharisee proceeded to explain to God all the wrong things he had not done. He referenced himself with the word “I” at least 8 times in six short sentences. He had a case of “I” trouble. All of his alleged goodness did not earn God’s favor; not his fasting, not his faithfulness to his wife, not his tithing, not his lack of greed and not his “justice.”
The “tax-collector,” on the other hand, recognized his short-comings and brought them before God, who accepted his humility and repentance.
One of those men left the Temple green and wrinkled. The other left re-born.
Verses 15-17 – The disciples didn’t get it. They thought the children would be a bother to Jesus. Jesus used them to teach us that the only way we can enter God’s kingdom is like a little child: by being trusting; by believing; and by accepting God’s gift with joy and thanksgiving.
Verses 18-30 – When Jesus asked the “rich young ruler” why he called Him “good,” that only God is good, He was identifying Himself as one with God.
The ruler claimed to have kept all of the commandments. It was not true, but he said that it was. Jesus made it clear that the keeping of the commandments would not bring him salvation. The only way he could receive salvation was to forsake all of himself and follow Jesus. That did not sit so well with the rich young ruler.
The people listening, probably including the Pharisees were astonished. They thought riches were a sign of God’s acceptance and just rewards.
Verses 31-34 – This is the third time Jesus speaks of his death in accordance with the predictions of the prophets. The disciples still did not understand. They would not understand until after Jesus’ death and resurrection…in fact, not until Pentecost (Acts 1-3).
Verses 35-43 – In this healing, Jesus did not touch the man (Bartemaus, according to Mark 10:16) or require any act of him. He just declared him healed and commended his faith.
The man’s reaction was to thank Jesus and to follow Him. The crowd praised Him, too.
Once again we see that following Jesus is about faith, not works. We see that it costs us our 100% allegiance to Him. It requires our faith in, and only in, the finished work of Jesus at the cross of Calvary and His resurrection.
In this chapter we are given two parables about prayer, a statement about who can be saved, the relationship of obedience to the Law to salvation, a reminder that Jesus will fulfill the predictions of the prophets concerning Him and the healing of a blind man.
Verses 1-8 – Dr. Luke tells us the meaning of the parable before he reveals Jesus’ telling of it.
As many theologians have asked, if God is omniscient and knows what we need before we ask, why does Jesus tell us to keep on praying (bothering the judge)? A) He is testing our faith; B) He doesn’t really know everything; C) He wants us to keep our focus on Him; D) He really enjoys seeing us beg.
The answer is C).
Verses 9-14 – Who were these people who were sure they were better than anybody else? The context and the illustration indicate that it was the Pharisees.
The Pharisee proceeded to explain to God all the wrong things he had not done. He referenced himself with the word “I” at least 8 times in six short sentences. He had a case of “I” trouble. All of his alleged goodness did not earn God’s favor; not his fasting, not his faithfulness to his wife, not his tithing, not his lack of greed and not his “justice.”
The “tax-collector,” on the other hand, recognized his short-comings and brought them before God, who accepted his humility and repentance.
One of those men left the Temple green and wrinkled. The other left re-born.
Verses 15-17 – The disciples didn’t get it. They thought the children would be a bother to Jesus. Jesus used them to teach us that the only way we can enter God’s kingdom is like a little child: by being trusting; by believing; and by accepting God’s gift with joy and thanksgiving.
Verses 18-30 – When Jesus asked the “rich young ruler” why he called Him “good,” that only God is good, He was identifying Himself as one with God.
The ruler claimed to have kept all of the commandments. It was not true, but he said that it was. Jesus made it clear that the keeping of the commandments would not bring him salvation. The only way he could receive salvation was to forsake all of himself and follow Jesus. That did not sit so well with the rich young ruler.
The people listening, probably including the Pharisees were astonished. They thought riches were a sign of God’s acceptance and just rewards.
Verses 31-34 – This is the third time Jesus speaks of his death in accordance with the predictions of the prophets. The disciples still did not understand. They would not understand until after Jesus’ death and resurrection…in fact, not until Pentecost (Acts 1-3).
Verses 35-43 – In this healing, Jesus did not touch the man (Bartemaus, according to Mark 10:16) or require any act of him. He just declared him healed and commended his faith.
The man’s reaction was to thank Jesus and to follow Him. The crowd praised Him, too.
Once again we see that following Jesus is about faith, not works. We see that it costs us our 100% allegiance to Him. It requires our faith in, and only in, the finished work of Jesus at the cross of Calvary and His resurrection.
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