HAVE FUN...............Healthy Insanity

A Friend and co-worker sent this to me...I, therefore, send it to you.


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See whether they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks yo to do something, ask whether they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it, "IN."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write, "For Smuggling Diamonds."

7. Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance witht he prophecy."

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. With a serious face, order a diet water whenever you go out to eat .

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

12. When the money comes out of the ATM machine, scream, "I won! I won!"

13. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

14. Over dinner, tell your children: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

15. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: read this blog periodically.

NORMALCY!

Things are back to "normal" at the radio station, Kingdom FM Christian Radio .

Sharathon 2007 is history.

I'm tired.

I'll post a real article tomorrow.

Thanks for your prayers.

Listen in...you'll like it if you like middle-of-the-road, inspirational and soft praise-and-worship music and strong Bible studies.

See you tomorrow.

SHARATHON 2007

Next week is our Sharathon 2007 at the Christian Radio station where I am the Production Director. (WJYO 91.5 fm Kingdom FM)

Each year we take a few days to ask listeners to make Faith Promises to the station to raise the operations funds for the year.

If you would like to become a listener, you can, no matter where you live. Simply go to www.kingdom.fm and click on listen live.

If you would like to contribute to the cause, the toll free number to call is 1-800-635-2122, or you can just send a check to Kingdom FM, P.O. Box 61721, Fort Myers, Florida 33906.

The Sharathon will go from 6:00 AM until 6:00 PM Eastern Time Tuesday, March 27 through Friday, March 30.

We do a nice mix of great Bible teaching programs, Inspirational and soft praise-and-worship music.

Pray for us, as this has not been a banner year for listener support (not a BAD year, just not as good as it could (should?) have been).

FYI: I do an on-air shift from 9:00 AM until Noon, Monday thru Friday...just in case you wanted to hear what I sound like, for some odd reason or another.

As I say every day when I sign off, "Have a great day! Make it a Christ-filled Day, and I'll see you here tomorrow morning. But if I don't see you here...I'll see you over there."

IS CHANGE IN THE AIR?

Let's say you are a Calvinist and you are reading this post.

Why that would be the case, I'm not sure, but for, the sake of argument, let's say that it is.

What would it take to cause you to change your Calvinist views?

Let's say you are an Arminianist and you are reading this post.

Why that would be the case, I'm not sure, but, for the sake of argument, let's say that it it.

What would it take to cause you to change your Arminian views?

I dare say either or both of you would quickly change your views as soon as someone showed you one or more Scriptures that made the case for the other side...right?

Or not?

Fact is, neither a died-in-the-wool Calvinist or a died-in-the-wool Arminianist is likely to change, because the Scripture can be used to "prove" either point of view.

The same can be said for any theological stance to which one holds, because, after much consideration, each of us thinks he/she is correct.

If, on the other hand, you do not think you are correct in the stance you take, why do you take it?

Truth is, Scripture is not a dissertation on how or why God does what He does or saves whom He saves.

It is His revelation of His character, His love for His creation and His plan for its redemption.

As long as we are bound to concerning ourselves with the "how" and the "why," we will miss the "Who."

The "Who" is Jesus.

I have heard incessant arguments for both sides and even for some dozens of sides on the periphery.

Not a single one of them has been persuasive.

Most of them end with a sort of, "Surely a person as intelligent as you can see that I'm right," attitude.

To which I reply: No, I can't.

Which reply either calls into question my intelligence, or the motive(s) of the questioner.

On the very day that Christians decide to major on the major (who is only Jesus), we will cease our bickering and will begin to attract the world to the One who came to save them.

As proof of this stance I offer John 13:35: "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."

And: John 17: 20 & 21: (20) "Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; (21) That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me."

Now that I have quoted some Scripture supporting my stance, have I convinced you to adopt the same stance?

Interesting.

JUDGE FOR YOURSELF

Should the Attorney General, Alterto Gonzales, be fired or asked to resign?

That is, and MUST be, 100% up to the President and Congress has NO RIGHT to even bring the subject up!

But you think they must have the right, because you believe the news.

President William Jefferson Clinton fired 93 AGs in ONE DAY.

He kept on Janet Reno in the face of the same kind of controversy.

The press reported, but gave almost no commentary on the events.

The President fires a few AGs and the press treats it like a scandal (they even call it that and you believe it is a scandal because your favorite newscaster said so), saying it was "politically motivated."

One fired AG says he was fired because "he wouldn't play ball."

RIGHT!!!!

That's why people get fired.

My boss would fire me if I did not play ball (he has told me so).

Your boss would fire you if you did not play ball.

If you were (or are) a boss, you would fire an employee who did not play ball.

And the AGs work for the President.

He is their boss, as outlined in the Constitution of the United States of America, if that counts for anything.

But you believe the Mainstream Press.

You will allow the MSP to fry AG, Alberto Gonzales.

You will not object to your Congressman.

You will not write or call.

You are too pussyfooted to either care or to do anything about it.

This is all for one reason, and one reason only: to put EVERY move George W. Bush makes in a bad light.

And you are playing right into their hands.

I heard an interview of an "expert" this very morning who was asked by the interviewer, with that "what I'm about to ask demand a certain respose" tone to his voice, "Is America safer today than we were before 9/11?"

The answer was 100% predictable: NO.

I'm certain that is because of all the attacks on america carried out by terroritsts since 9/11.

I'm certain that is because of the fear you and I wake up with every day, as we head out to our jobs and conduct our daily lives.

Now the truth is WE ARE SAFER NOW THAN WE WERE BEFORE 9/11, but you don't believe that, because you believe your favorite news reporter.

Take Valerie Plame (please).

Valerie Plame was NOT outed by Robert Novak or any body else...she was never a lawfully covert agent.

She testified that she was covert.

Imagine that!

A covert agent who drives to work in a family car every day, drops her kids off at school and then drives to the CIA offices!

That's some kinda covert!

But her testimony was that she had been trained to know when she was being followed.

Oh, wow! That makes sense.

Truth is, her testimony before the committe was false...a lie...get it? She lied under oath!

Yes she did!

She was, is and always will be a pretty faced, blond liar (a liar being defined as one who does not tell the truth).

But was that pointed out by the MSP?

If you watched any of the questioning of Valerie Plame before Congress, you know that EVERY TIME a question was asked that might yield an opposite result, the question was either cut off or ridiculed by members of the panel who had a different niew.

Valerie Plame said she lost her career because of the Bush administration.

Now you believe that, because you believe your favorite news reporter.

But she was not "outed" by the Bush administration, she was not "outed" at all, because only a lawfully covert agent can be "outed."

But you think she was a covert agent, because you believe the news.

Fact is, the first person to bring up her name as a CIA employee (not a covert agent, 'cause she wasn't one), was Richard Armitage, a deputy secretary of State. Check out this Newsweek link.

But how many times did you hear his name come up in the hearings yesterday?

Answer: 0

You need to realize that the major network news organizations are not at all interested in giving you all the facts of a case, they are interested in making you believe a certain thing that fits what they, as a group, want accomplished.

And they are being successful at making you believe what they tell you because you do not write or call them and tell them how much you wish they would present BOTH SIDES of a story factually, and save the commentary for commentators.

Same goes for certain lawmakers.

They are not interested in the good of the country, bringing unity to the country, defending the country...they are interested in, and only in, their own power.

"Sure are they all...all honorable men."

Yeah, right.

But you believe they are, because they bluster and huff and puff when the truth about them is brought up.

But their actions go on, just the same.

And you fall for their lies and the lies of the Mainstream Press.

Or do you?

UNDERCOVER

If you read this far in this post, you do thereby pledge not to reveal to another soul the veracity of same.

I am a covert operative in S.W.I.N.E.

Each day I drop my charges off at their place of erudition and go to my office at the S.W.I.N.E. headquarters.

Being a highly trained operative, skilled in all areas and activities of the S.W.I.N.E. organization, I know that I have never been followed to my office, even though I use public thoroughfares to get there.

(There was the city bus thing, but that's another story.)

If I had been followed, it would indicate that someone knew I was a covert agent (else why would they be following me?), and I would no longer be covert.

Now, the Congressional bill regarding the outing of covert agents in S.W.I.N.E. would have required that whoever discovered that I was covert would have to be indicted on charges of outing a covert agent thereby transforming me from a covert agent to an overt agent, something that no agent of S.W.I.N.E. would want to be.

Somehow, I would have to get over overtness so that I could become covered with covertness (or some other nasty substance).

Now, when testifying before a Congressional committee regarding the outing (or overting)of a covert agent, the person who actually framed the law testified that I was not covert under the law, a sure indication that there is considerable confusion about the relationship(s) between overt-and-covert-ness.

The Committee Chairman then became properly indignant (something I know a great deal about which), crying out, "Are you telling me that Joe was NOT covert? Don't actually answer the question, because I don't want to hear what the answer actually is, I just want to be able to ask the question with an incredulous tone to my voice."

"Well, Sir," she responded, "under the law..."

He interrupted, "Don't bring the law into this. Why, we are actual law writers! What possible relevance could the law have in a case like this? We are not interested in the actual facts of this non-case, we are only interested in posturing and puffing on behalf of the American people."

"But be assured," he continued, "We intend to prosecute this issue to the fullest extent of the law!"

She tried to point out to him that the law didn't have a very full extent, but he was having none of it.

Having observed these proceedings, I left the court room (uh...make that the committee room) in my usual huff and rejoined my responsibilities in my S.W.I.N.E. office. In an overtly covert fashion, of course.

NOTE FOR THE UNITITIATED: S.W.I.N.E stands for Seniors Wildlly Indignant about Nearly Everything.

If you have been initiated, please disregard this explanitory note.

NOTE 2: There is no way to describe the penalties that may or may not be invoked should you give in to the temptation to reveal the contents of this covert post to any other person, living or dead.

PHONIES

Dear blog reader,

Do you have any idea how utterly stupid the Congress and Senate of the United States of America think you are?

They think you are far to stupid to realize that when President William Jefferson Clinton fired 93 Attorney's General it was OK, because he did it early in his administration and without any prior investigation, but President George W. Bush fires 8 after years of consideration and investigation and that's somehow bad.

They really and truely think you are that stupid.

How does it make you feel to know that they think you are that stupid?

It makes me turbochargedly furious that they think I'm that stupid.

They're wrong, aren't they?

You are not really that stupid are you?

INTERESTING

I have no idea how true anything in this video really is, but it does give reason for thought and is worth watching.

(I can't make it link...I guess you'll have to copy it and paste it in your URL box. I don't have one of those $1,000.00 computers from 2023 - which comment you will understand after watching the video-.)

http://www.glumbert.com/media/shift

MORE OF MY PUGS

Charlie looks most intelligent when he is nipping at his bottle. He and Zeek are very close. Even closer than in the picture.

Wanna see some pugs?

(Well, look anyway)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3200857267193874310

SATURDAY SILLINESS

Everything you see on TV is, of course, true.

Today I was watching the local Fox TV channel.

The announcer said, "Fox 4 is in your corner!"

I looked im my corner.

They weren't there.

GIVE WHAT?

Most Christians' favorite hymn really goes:

Some to Jesus I surrender,
Some to Him I freely give.
I will sometimes love and trust Him
In His presence frequently live.

I surrender some.
I surrender some.
Some to Thee my Blessed Savior
I surrender some.

You might not have noticed.

Christians often tend to be inconsistant.

They are even inconsistant in recognizing their inconsistancy.

Let me illustrate.

A neighbor stopped in at my house the other day to visit.

He went into my laundry room where I had a washer and dryer.

"Hey!" he proclaimed. "I'm feeling very alturistic today!

"I'd like to give you this really nice washer and dryer set!"

"Uh..." I was somewhat perplexed.

"How can you give me that washer and dryer set? It belongs to me already!"

"Yeah!" he answered, "But I just feel like I should give you something. You've done a lot for me and I want to return the favor.

"It's settled. I'm giving you this washer and dryer."

Now I know that you are smarter than the average blog reader.

You understand how silly that is.

Do you understand how it illstrates one of the most flagrant inconsistancies in most Christians' lives?

God created and owns the entire universe...everything...all of it. It's His. He holds the deed.

My washer and dryer is His.

My home is His.

My car is His.

My life is His.

My children are His.

My paycheck is His.

Everything I am, everything I "have" is His.

His Word teaches me that truth without equivocation.

He absolutely, positively owns it all.

Not philosophically...actually.

How can I "give back to Him" something that is already His?

"Nothing in my hand I bring..."

One of my church members said to me, "If every member of our church would just tithe, we wouldn't have so many money worries."

I answered, "If every member of our church would just learn New Testament giving, God wouldn't have to settle for only 10%.

Many Christians are willing to fight for the concept of tithing.

Very, very few are willing to give their all to Him.

Even though He gave His all for us.

True New Testament giving requires that we recognize that everything is His...100%.

He demands it all.

Any other so-called "New Testament" teaching about giving is false teaching.

NOT A PART OF THE PLATFORM

A friend of mine sent me this little story.

I thought I would pass it on to you.

I was right.

I would.

A game warden in central Florida recently stopped a Florida cracker, who was leaving a lake well known for its good fishing, with two ice chests of fish, .

The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?"

"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."

"That's a bunch of bull! Fish can't do that!"

The cracker looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"

The cracker poured the fish into the river and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said,"Well?"

"Well, what?" said the cracker.

"When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH!"

"What fish?"

We in Florida may not be as smart as some, but we ain't as dumb as most. You smart ones have a good day!

THE PLATFORM PART 6

Here it is!

The final duty of government as outlined in the preamble of our Constitution.

It is to secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity

Liberty!

People have died for it.

It is the deepest earthly yearning of the human heart.

Cage an animal if you must, but don't cage a human being.

The writing on the Statue of Liberty, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..." recognizes the depth of the seat of freedom in the human breast.

What is it that so profoundly settles itself in the soul of man, this thing called "liberty?"

Cliches: Freedom isn't free. Freedom isn't license. Freedom isn't absolute. Your freedom to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. You're not free to yell, "fire!" in a crowded theater.

True.

So what is it?

Freedom is the ability to think and move without restriction but with enormous responsibility.

The responsibility that comes with freedom is the responsibility to act with the good of someone or something bigger than self in mind.

That's not easy.

Most of us live by the motto: I want what I want, when I want it, where I want it, how I want it and I want it right now.

In order to be free we must get over the "I" trouble.

For instance traffic lights.

I have the power to not stop at a red light.

By agreement with society, I have relinquished the right to not stop at a red light in order to enjoy the freedom of driving where I want to go safely.

So in order to enjoy some liberties, one must give up certain freedoms.

There must always be a balancing act, or else freedom would become anarchy, which would become chaos.

And so, we the people established a government charged with the responsibility of securing our very liberty.

To entrust a government with our liberty, and then to tell that government to govern us, is so close to a contradiction-in-terms that it is scary.

And so, we call it a government of the people, by the people and for the people.

As long as the people remain active in governance, it will succeed.

When the people refuse to be involved, the government will, because of the nature of mankind and its propensity for power, exert undue authority and will become corrupt, then dictatorial, then repressive.

If I am President, my administration will strive to secure those blessings of liberty for us, for our children and for our children's children.

But then If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

THE NEWT WORLD ORDER

Newt Gingrich is one of my favorite politicians.

I like Newt because he and I share similar social, governmental, and family values.

He is contemplating running against me and others for the Presidency.

Sadly, he does not have a breath of a chance, not because he isn't the best man for the job. I think he IS the best man for the job (next to me, of course).

He doesn't have a chance because the mainstream press will fry him for breakfast meat.

Newt is the architech of the Republican Contract with America, with which I fully agreed.


This is a transcript of a section of a Gingrich Speech in New Hampshire.

Apparently it is causing a firestorm.
==============
NEWT GINGRICH: The third thing I want to talk about very briefly is the genuine danger of terrorism, in particular terrorists using weapons of mass destruction and weapons of mass murder, nuclear and biological weapons.

And I want to suggest to you that right now we should be impaneling people to look seriously at a level of supervision that we would never dream of if it weren't for the scale of threat.

Let me give you two examples.

When the British this summer arrested people who were planning to blow up ten airliners in one day, they arrested a couple who were going to use their six month old baby in order to hide the bomb as baby milk.

Now, if I come to you tonight and say that there are people on the planet who hate you, and they are 15-25 year old males who are willing to die as long as they get to kill you, I've simply described the warrior culture which has been true historically for 6 or 7 thousand years.

But, if I come to you and say that there is a couple that hates you so much that they will kill their six month old baby in order to kill you, I am describing a level of ferocity, and a level of savagery beyond anything we have tried to deal with.

And, what is truly frightening about the British experience is they are arresting British citizens, born in Britain , speaking English, who went to British schools, live in British housing, and have good jobs.

This is a serious long term war, and it will inevitably lead us to want to know what is said in every suspect place in the country, that will lead us to learn how to close down every website that is dangerous, and it will lead us to a very severe approach to people who advocate the killing of Americans and advocate the use of nuclear or biological weapons.

And, my prediction to you is that either before we lose a city, or if we are truly stupid, after we lose a city, we will adopt rules of engagement that use every technology we can find to break up their capacity to use the internet, to break up their capacity to use free speech, and to go after people who want to kill us to stop them from recruiting people before they get to reach out and convince young people to destroy their lives while destroying us.

This is a serious problem that will lead to a serious debate about the first amendment, but I think that the national security threat of losing an American city to a nuclear weapon, or losing several million Americans to a biological attack is so real that we need to proactively, now, develop the appropriate rules of engagement.

And, I further think that we should propose a Geneva convention for fighting terrorism which makes very clear that those who would fight outside the rules of law, those who would use weapons of mass destruction, and those who would target civilians are in fact subject to a totally different set of rules that allow us to protect civilization by defeating barbarism before it gains so much strength that it is truly horrendous.

This is a sober topic, but I think it is a topic we need a national dialogue about, and we need to get ahead of the curve rather than wait until we actually lose a city which could literally happen within the next decade if we are unfortunate.

I think we should pay attention to this speech.

After something dire happens, it will be too late.

Let's not let that happen.

BEYOND A SHADOW OF A GOUT

I thought only old people got this stuff.

It is called "gout."

Gout is a condition caused when uric acid, which is normally distributed throughout the blood stream, leeches out and collects in one or more joints, usually the big toe joint, but it could be any joint.

In the blood stream, uric acid is sort of like Tang (you know, the orange drink of early astronauts) crystals.

When it becomes gout, it hurts. Really bad.

I have had three broken bones, each of which caused me to writhe in pain.

This is about three times as bad, pain-wise.

Its onset was a little less than a week ago, when it settled in my right foot, just in front of the heel.

That went away untreated and I thought all was well.

But this is sneaky stuff.

A couple of days ago, my left big toe knuckle began to hurt.

It got worse, and began to swell, and had a little circular red spot, right on the side of the toe-knuckle, that was so sensitive that a breath of air made it feel like an ice pick was stuck in that knuckle.

Last night, as I finished my post on my non-run for the Presidency, I inadvertantly kicked my desk with my gout-filled toe.

I do not recommend this course of action.

After shouting out in pain, at which my sweet wife, Bonnie, came running, only to stand by helplesly, there being nothing at all she could do for me, I began to laugh uncontrollably at the stupidity of the situation.

Bonnie became convinced that I was totally off my rocker.

It has taken her thirteen years to come to that realization.

I was laughing and crying at the same time.

Really strange.

Putting my feet under the covers at night was impossible, because even the bed sheet touching the center of that little spot caused excruciating pain.

The swelling got so bad that I literally thought my skin would split.

It didn't, for which I am grateful.

I finally got to see my doctor, Dr. Toro, whom I call Dr. Zorro, but not to his face,who prescribed some meds.

I sit in front of my computer with only a sort of dull ache, but it is markedly better, pain-wise.

Why do I share this with you? What great wisdom do I intend to impart with this narrative?

I have absolutely no idea.

Except, as with most blogging, it is cathartic.

I sure wish I knew the meaning of "cathartic."

It would certainly afford me a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension.

That would be nice.

Ah ammmmm gething dizzzzzie frahm the medcin.

Goo night owl.

THE PLATFORM PART 5

The landslide is underwhelming.

Yet I proceed in the knowledge that the good of the country must trump all.

The fifth plank of my platform concerns the 5th responsibility of government as put forth in the Preamble to The Constitution of the United States of America.

The government is to be the catalist to promote the general welfare of the citizens.

Once again we turn to Mr. Webster for some help.

PROMOTE: a: to contribute to the growth or prosperity of : FURTHER

b : to help bring (as an enterprise) into being : LAUNCH

c : to present (merchandise) for buyer acceptance through advertising, publicity, or discounting

WELFARE: the state of doing well especially in respect to good fortune, happiness, well-being, or prosperity.

Please notice that it is the government's job to provide for the common defense.

When it comes to the general welfare, it is government's job to promote it.

Somewhere along the line we got the idea that if we have trouble it is government's job to fix it.

That is not so!

For instance, many criticized the government for not reacting quickly enought to the hurricanes Charlie, in Southwest Florida (Punta Gorda, Arcadia, et.al.) and Katrina, in New Orleans.

Not one word of the Constitution gives government the task of rebuilding homes, etc.

Another for instance: The Constitution does not charge the government with educating the public.

When neighborhood schools accepted money from the feds, they relinquished local control over schools. Schools then became government schools instead of public schools.

Recently, the NEA (National Education Association) has stated that citizens have no business interfering with the curricula of public (read: government) schools!

And many of you just go on like the Red Skelton hobo character, "Dum-de-dum-dum..." and let it happen.

Now, even PTAs cannot ask what goes on in some schools, let alone try to exercise influence therein.

All they are allowed to do is to rubber stamp what has been decided by government workers and do fund raising and extra-curricular stuff.

Can you guess what government in recent history began to influence the schools in exactly the same way? (Think Germany and WWII).

Politicians in government found in the phrase, "promote the general welfare," the concept that if they (the government) give out enough money, they (politicians) can continue to get re-elected.

So, they establish welfare programs, instead of promoting the general welfare.

Promoting the general welfare would enclude encouraging folks to learn to support themselves, become gainfully employed and thus avail themselves of the American Dream.

There are far too many people who prefer NOT to seek employment and just collect monetary benefits from taxpayers.

If you haven't come to this realization, watch a few installments of Judge Judy or Judge Joe Brown or Judge Alex.

They seem to cater to the lowest common denominator of American existence.

So.

This plank of my platform includes:

1) The federal government shall no longer have a say in the public education of citizens, and control of schools shall be returned to local districts;

2) Citizens who actually work for their part of the American Dream shall be taxed at a LOWER rate than those who do not;

3) Federal income taxes shall be 11% of every earned dollar by any for-profit entity, individual and corporate, and shall be assessed for every dollar above the established poverty level.

There shall be no deductions for anything except giving to legitimate non-profit charities whose resources are used for the betterment of mankind.

Taxes shall be collected from the rich at the same rate as from the less-than-rich, the incentive for success being that everybody gets to keep 89% of everything they earn.

People who, through circumstances over which they have no control, cannot work and are below the poverty level shall be cared for to the degree necessary for sustanance. If they can be re-trained to become productive, said training shall be afforded them, after which they must go to work if they are able.

Under no circumstances shall the government use the color of one's skin determine either advantage or disadvantage to any individual or group.

Americans shall have the freedom to worship as they please or not both in private and in public.

If one wants to preach on a street corner, he/she shall be allowed to do so. If one does not want to hear the preaching, he/she shall be free not to listen.

If one wants to worship some pagan god, he/she shall be free to do so, so long as the exercise of that belief does not bring physical harm to another. (If you want to worship snakes, worship snakes, but keep those snakes in cages away from those who hate snakes...like me.)

The freedom to pray at a highschool event shall not be infringed upon.

Faith-based and other altruistic organizations shall be encouraged to provide services to those in need.

As President, I shall encourage Congress and the courts to return to the principles held by our Founding Fathers in all areas, secular and faith-based.

And keep in mind: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

THE PLATFORM PART 4

Once again, O Intelligent Reader, I return to my platform.

The Constitution of the United States of America tells us what government is to be about.

So far we have covered: 1) forming a more perfect union; 2) establishing justice; and 3) insuring domestic tranquility.

Now it is time for a very relevant function of government: providing for the common defense.

It is the job of government to defend the nation against all forces, inside and out, which might cause the nation to fall, to stumble or even to trip.

On December 7th, 1941 a squadron of Japanese aircraft struck our naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, killing 2,403 American military personnel and civilians.

Although Hawaii was not a state, it was a United States Territory, and an attack on it was considered an attack on America.

This attack brought us into a war with Japan at the same time we were engaged in conflict in Europe against Adolph Hitler, whose goal it was to rule the Western World.

We ultimately won both wars. That's because we are militarily the strongest nation on earth, peaceful until attacked...then...watch out!

One single battle in the ensuing war with Japan was the battle for the Island nation of Iwo Jima.

During that battle, 4,197 member of the United States Marines were killed right out, 19,189 were wounded and 1,401 later died of wounds suffered there.

The battle lasted 35 days.

We won.

Ultimately, the war with Japan was won when President Harry S. Truman made the decision to drop one atomic bomb on Hiroshima and one on Nagasaki, Japan.

Some would argue that we were about to end the war with negotiations and that the bombings were unnecessary.

May I remind you that on December 7th, 1941 we were engaged in negotiations with Japan during which they had promised to abide by the peace treaty we had just struck with them.

Their ambassador broke off the negotiations hours before the attack on Pearl Harbor, which means, of course, that the attack had already been planned and the negotiations were nothing but a ploy to keep us from doing anything until the attack had come to fruition.

The point is: Negotiations have NEVER in the history of mankind prevented an attack, nor have they, in-and-of-themselves ever ended a war.

There are those who believe that we should pull out of Iraq immediately and negotiate peace with terrorists who have as their goal the distruction of the western way of life.

It has never worked in history, is not working anywhere in the world today and will never work in the future.

Those who think negotiations with terroritst will lessen their verve are either naive or are traitors.

I hope for the former, I fear the latter.

Their trouble is they either do not know or do not care to put the war on terrorists in the perspective of the history of war.

Therefore, Plank 4 of my platform is the unmittigated defense of our nation.

I.

Nations that harbor and/or train terrorists shall be given 60 days to round up, execute or otherwise dispose of all terrorists within their borders or face the FULL force and fury of the United States Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and their state auxilliaries.

Anybody in this nation or any other who does not think we can defeat any present enemy on this planet is just plain STUPID (and if you're one of them, I'm sorry to report that you are just plain STUPID).

Now, might does not make right.

But when you are right, your might goes a long way toward enforcing your rightness.

In the case of terrorism, it is right that terrorists be distroyed.

If not, they will most assuredly distroy us.

II.

Members of any group or groups who support terrorists within our borders shall be tried as traitors and/or deported to Mexico immediately, and if Mexico does not like it, they should stop allowing their people to enter the United States illegally.

Those who are in our county illegally, from whatever country, shall be deported immediately. They may re-enter by getting in the same line those who enter legally are in, fulfilling the same requirements those in the afore-mentioned lines must fulfill and go through the process legally.

All legal aliens shall be welcomed with opened arms and shall be invited to work toward becoming citizens of and to partake in the American Dream.

III.

The defense of this country from without and within shall require the largest portion of the national budget.

So there you have it.

Part 4 of my Platform.

Remember: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

TIME OUT!

Before I present to you the rest of my platform (I know. It's tough to wait. You are waiting with shrimp in your mouth...ie: baited breath), you MUST read The Insanity Farmer (whose name I have never changed in my blogroll).

Here is the link:

http://insanityfarm.com/

You must read: Politico Primer Part 1 and Politico Primer Part 2

No, really! You must!

Go read it!

Do it now!

Go!

Go!

It should be required reading in every civics class, every political science class and every social studies class.

So what are you waiting for?

I'll wait while you go read it.

THE PLATFORM PART 3

The third responsibility of the federal government, according to the Constitution of the United States of America, is to insure domestic tranquility.

Shall we turn to Webster?

Yes, lets.

Domestic:

of, relating to, or originating within a country and especially one's own country.

Tranquil:

1 a : free from agitation of mind or spirit
b : free from disturbance or turmoil

So, when there is turmoil in the country, the government is to make sure that tranquility is restored.

Question: Has our government insured that we have tranquility within our nation?

I think not.

So, as President, I will assist the members of the House of Representatives, the Senate and the Supreme Court to understand that this is in their job description.

I will assist them by saying, "Look, guys (and gals), you gotta make some tranquility happen here."

Of course, they won't know how.

They will look at each other and say something like, "Duh....How are we supposed to do that?"

To which I will respond, "Look, you gorbellied, folly-fallen, giglets, I will demonstrate."

Then, in a saturday evening, required viewing TV appearance, I will say to the citizens, "Now, sit quietly, cross your legs, take a deep breath and hold it."

This will accomplish several things:

1. When they sit quietly, suddenly all overt crime will cease.

2. When they cross their legs, all sorts of evil occurances will be prevented. Furthermore, the rate of population increase will decline.

3. When they hold their breath, certain ones who engage in unhealthy, oxygen depleting, carbon monoxide inducing and mind altering habits will expire...thus decreasing the surplus population, emptying our jails of many life-long criminals and freeing up many hospital beds.

4. When I at last give them permission to breathe normally, those who are healthy will be so happy to be rid of those who have been dragging the country down that they will gladly proceed through life in a state of tranquility.

In order to accomplish all of this, a new cabinet post will be established: The Minister of Calm.

Man! I can hardly wait to set some of this in motion.

As Always: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

THE PLATFORM PART 2

The second responsibility of government, according to The Constitution of the United States of America, is to establish justice (check out the preamble).

What is this thing called justice?

According to Webster it is:

1 a : the maintenance or administration of what is just especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments

b : Judge

c : the administration of law; especially : the establishment or determination of rights according to the rules of law or equity

2 a : the quality of being just, impartial, or fair

b (1) : the principle or ideal of just dealing or right action (2) : conformity to this principle or ideal : Righteousness

c : the quality of conforming to law

3 : conformity to truth, fact, or reason : Correctness

Notice that it is the government's job to establish justice.

Again, according to Webster: to institute (as a law) permanently by enactment or agreement.

In order to establish justice, we use a system of laws, with a Constitution to establish the bounds of the laws, congress to write laws, the President to agree to the laws, a Supreme Court (whose purpose is to ensure that the laws do not violate the Constitution), Judges to mediate the laws, lawyers to argue the laws, and police to enforce the law by seeking out violators and bringing them before the courts.

Now, it has not worked out that way, because individuals in the system see their own need to power as greater than the Constitution itself.

Thus we have activist judges imposing law instead of comparing it to the Constitution and determining to which principles the law adheres or violates.

Therefore, my platform is to immediately suspend all sitting judges, good and bad, and replacing them with judges selected from my readership, who will obviously be honest, fair, upstanding, dependable, trustworthy, loyal helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.

Applications are being received.

Remember: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

THE PLATFORM PART 1

My readers are the smartest blog readers in the world (except for Vickie, who sadly allows me to control her [or is it really "his"?] mood).

Since you are so smart, you will no doubt understand the various planks of my platform in my run for the write-in vote.

Plank 1.

As president I will work toward the unification of the United States of America.

There are several way this will be accomplished.

First, I will introduce legislation that will make it illegal to pass any more legislation. We have enough laws already. We just need to start enforcing the ones we have.

Secondly, I will introduce legislation that will make it illegal to disagree with me, thus creating a state of immediate unity.

The fact that legislation prohibiting the introduction of any further legislation will have been enacted will be a bit of a stumbling block, but I will introduce legislation that will make it possible.

For those who agree to agree with me there will be enormous benefits: free healthcare; free housing; free money; free gasoline; free Dairy Queen Blizzards; and free Honda Fits.

Those who choose not to agree with me will be strongly urged to plan an extended vacation in Bora Bora. Every effort will be made to make the trip effortless.

We will provide them with airfare, a pair of pajamas, one change of clothes, the religious tome of their choice and Ritz crackers.

Then we will give them a copy of "How to fly a Boeing 777 for Fun and Profit" and send them on their way.

Those of us who are left will bask in the knowledge that we all think alike, walk in lock-step and will play Monopoly every Monday night.

Global warming and food shortages will be unlawful.

Hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, landslides, sink holes and thunderstorms will be relegated to sections of the Sargasso Sea, and ships will not be allowed to venture therethrough unless they fly the flag of Bora Bora.

The Constitution of the United States of America exists, according to itself, to form a more perfect union.

No one has figured out how to do that until now.

Relief is on the horizon.

Or is that a hurricane brewing?

Remember: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

The Groundswell Begins

There were four comments on my last post.

One of those comments promises to vote for me.

One out of four, all of them Americans.

Assuming three hundred million Americans, that gives me 7,500,000 votes.

I'm a shoe-in!

Next: My Platform Expanded

ONLY A HUGE WRITE-IN COULD DO IT

If nominated, I will not run

If elected, I will not serve.

That's my platform, and I'm sticking with it.

TOO EARLY?

To see, hear or read the mainstream press, you would think that the Presidential Primaries were next month!

I still haven't seen a single person worthy of the office of President of The United States of America come to the fore.

Here's what my candidate MUST be ready to FIGHT for:

1. Uniting the country. That must be number one.

2. Establishing justice under the law for every citizen.

3. Insuring tranquility in our land .

4. Providing common defense of our nation.

5. Promoting the general welfare of our citizens.

6. Securing the blessings of liberty for us and our descendents.

7. Taking as little of the money we earn (and the government does not earn) as possible.

8. Making government as small as possible.

9. Sticking to what is actually IN the Constitution.

10. Making abortions illegal except where the physical life of the mother is directly threatened medically (the Supreme Court's incorrect decisions of the past notwithstanding).

11. Remembering that this is a government of, by and for the people and that we are not a people of, by and for the government.

12. Being a person with a real American name like: George; John; Thomas; James; Andrew; Martin; William; Zachary (?); Millard (?); Franklin; Abraham; Ulysses (?); Rutherford (at least it sounds dignified); Chester; Grover (not the Sesame Street one); Benjamin; Theodore; Woodrow (?); Calvin; Harry; Dwight; Lyndon (?); Richard; Gerald; or Ronald.

What kind of a name is Barack? What about Hillary (mountains of trouble there)? Should we consider a man whose name is Newt (isn't that some kind of lizard?)? Rudolph (the Christmas president)? Mitt (gimmie a break!)? Jeb (sounds a bit hick-ish)? Condoleezza (come on...that's not a real name...is it?)?

Maybe we need a Joseph.

I know one.

SATURDAY SERENDIPITY

PART ONE:

I have been surfing the blogosphere.

WOW! What a concept!

Anyway, among the posts I have read have been some (not entirely wrongly) critical of the "organized" church and bemoaning personal disillusionment therewith.

Well, disillusionment is what happens when one's focus in on the corporation and not on the CEO.

Christ died for the church (ekklesia - that which is called out), not the church building, church location, church organization, church polity, or any other aspect of the corporate church, the CHURCH, ie: the people who have come into relationship with God through Christ.

(Yeah, yeah...I know He died for all sin, in all people, everywhere...but here I am talking about the church. Cheese...try to stay focused!)

Now anybody who has read God's Word knows beyond any doubt that He is well organized. Witness the very universe itself, His book of Nehemiah and the re-building of the wall, His instructions as to the lay-out of the temple, or the tents of Israel outlined in Numbers 2.

But Christ did not die for the organization.

He died for me.

And for you, by the way.

He is to be our focus.

Period.

Otherwise, we are doomed to think negatively about that entity we call the church, with its false-starts, foibles and rank stupidity.

When I learned to look at each face in the congregation through the eyes of Christ as I led the worship, instead of in light of the various frailties represented therein, my worship leading became meaningful.

I like meaningful.


PART TWO:

Have you been thinking a lot about the United Nations lately?

I was sent the following and thought I would share it with you.

(It can be bought at www.imao.us I think. It's a T-shirt design).

TOP 10 U.N. SLOGANS

10. If an impotent, bloated buraucracy can't solve it, then it's best left festering.

9. You can't spell "unethical" without UN

8. Genocidal dictators, beware our non-binding resolutions.

7. Bringing peace to our world (actual results may vary).

6. Tomorrow's corruption today

5. Raising pointless squabbling to an art form.

4. We take bribes so you don't have to.

3. Try our world famous cheesy fries.

2. If troubles abound, we'll be nearby doing nothing.

1. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial America.


PART THREE

There is no PART THREE.

THE PLANE TRUTH

Nancy!

Nancy!

It's OK!

You can have a plane to travel on.

It is NORMAL for the Speaker of the House to have a plane.

No one is saying you should not have a plane...no one!

But, you simple minded, self-oriented, self-proclaimed queen of the USA,

YOU DO NOT NEED A BIGGER PLANE THAN HAS EVER BEEN USED FOR ANY OTHER POLITICAL LEADER WHO WAS NOT PRESIDENT.

THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE ARE OBJECTING TO, YOU OVER-THE-TOP LEADER OF THE "MOST MORAL GOVERNMENT EVER"...N O T.

Stop with the accusations and threats (read: defunding the war in Iraq) and just do the job the people (mistakingly) elected you to...

that is IF you know how.

AH, SWEET MEMORIES

I bought a memory foam pillow.

It's not helping my memory at all.

I can't even remember why I bought it.

OLDIE BUT GOODIE

A friend sent me this, so I thought I would pass (pardon the football reference) it on to you.

Football FINALLY makes sense..........

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I
Really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the
big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each
other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

She said "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the
rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback!
Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

I hope you catch it.

A FRIEND AND CO-WORKER BLOGS!

You all know Parker, the Insanity Farmer (see link in blog roll).

Now there's Caleb.

Caleb is also a co-worker of mine...one of the best, most dependable workers anyone could ask for.

He now has a blog called On the Air (Caleb) .

(Actually, the (Caleb) part is not part of his blog's name, only of the link I have to his blog. His blog is actually "On the Air."

But if you click on the words in the quotation marks above, you will not get to his blog.

Conversely, if you click on the link that includes (Caleb), you will be taken to his blog. )

Anyway...I recommend that you read his posts.

He is a dedicated Christian with strong, conservative views.

And he's cool.

Read him.

ALL IS SIMI-FORGIVEN

Thanks to the help of svoblogger, I am now able to leave comments on other Blogger sites.

Therefore, some is forgiven...there are still too many steps...but at least it works.

Therefore be hereby warned!

You will be visited by a certain presence this weekend.

Your blog will be read.

Certain appropriate comments may be left.

Some may be right.

Whether right or left, the comments will be filled with hidden but well exposed meanings.

There will be enough comments posted that one could write a commentary.

You can neither run nor hide.

Watch out!

Here I come!

FURIOUS!!

I have been to all of the links on my blogroll.

The only ones I can comment on are the ones that are not on Blogger.

When I comment on a Blogger site, it asks for my Google password. When I enter it, it takes me to my dashboard and does not leave the comment.

A thousand poxes on Blogger.

More, if you can manage it.

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

Random 1

I'm so happy to learn that Democrat Presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, has stated that she supports our troops in Iraq.

According to her, her way of supporting them is to enable them to fail at their assignment by premature withdrawal, but hey, you can't have everything.

I've always believed premature withdrawal was awkward, at best.

Random 2

Saw a picture of a crowd of members of the Religion of Peace demonstrating against Pope Benedict XVI. They were burning him in effegy. They carried signs that said: "Jihad is Our Way."

When Ismail Haniyeh was installed as the new prime minister of Palestine, his first act was to wave the Qur'an and shout "Allahy Adhbar!" ("Allah is great).

The members of the legislature shouted back, "The Qur'an is our constitution, Muhammad is our prophet, jihad is our path, and dying as martyrs for Allah is our greatest wish!"

Peaceful folks, wouldn't you say?

They signed a peace agreement in Sudan.

In Darfur, Sudan, 200,000 Christians have been executed since the peace agreement was signed.

Another feather in the cap of the Religion of Peace.

In Khartoum, over 1,000,000 Nuba Christians have been slain, displaced, starved or sold into slavery by the Islamic government of Khartoum.

Let's hear it for the Religion of Peace!

In Pakistan, a teen converted to Christianity. Her uncle, a Muslim town leader, beat her, held a gun to her head and demanded that she renounce her Christianity and return to Islam.

She refused.

He, thinking he might be accused of murder if he shot her, instead tried to drown her in a canal. She struggled free, got away and is now in hiding.

Three cheers for the Religion of Peace!

Seven Israelies and three Christians were wounded and subsequently captured by Muslims during the recent Lebonese conflict.

They were executed with shots to the back of their heads.

Religion of Peace?

In a hospital emergency room in Israel, wounded Lebanese, Christians, Muslims, and Palestinians had their wounds treated and got well.

What defines a Religion of Peace?

Couple of days ago, mortors were systematically and diliberately fired into an elementary school in Israel, killing many children and wounding others.

What religion were those who chose children upon whom to fire?

They were members of the Religion of Peace.

Random 3

No doubt, when we pull our troops out of Iraq, the members of the Religion of Peace will show their real colors.

I wonder which of your relatives and friends will be receipients of their peacefulness.

NOW WHAT?

First I can't post.

Now I can't post comments.

Blogger keeps asking me for my GOOGLE login and password, which, when I put them in, it refuses to recognize, except when I use them to log in to my new Blogger site, which I can only do through my old Blogger site.

I used to enjoy this.

Blogging, that is.

They've made it so good that I can't use it any more.

NEW DIRECTION

Members of a particular political party (which shall not be named here, but whose initials are D.E.M.O.C.R.A.T.) keep saying we need "a new direction."

Oh?

Well, let's take a look.

Inflation is almost non-existant.

We need a new direction.

Taxes are lower than they have been in years.

We need a new direction.

The number of new terrorists attacks on our country stands at zero.

We need a new direction.

Gas prices are down.

We need a new direction.

The number of troops killed in Iraq annually has dropped significantly.

We need a new direction.

The budget defecit has been dropping.

We need a new direction.

The national debt has been dropping.

We need a new direction.

Deaths from cancer have been dropping.

We need a new direction.

The number of abortions in the country has been dropping.

We need a new direction.

Lower taxes have resulted in MORE government revenues (you are smart enough to realize how this happens, right?).

We need a new direction.

With fewer ecconomic barriers (read: "taxes"), new businesses are at an all time high (in spite of Wal-Mart, who was going to drive all other businesses out of business).

We need a new direction.

Overall drug use is down among teenagers.

We need a new direction.

Unemployment is very, very low.

We need a new direction.

The number of "better" paying jobs (ie: well above the minimum wage) is at an all-time high.

We need a new direction.

The stock market, overall, has been on a rise...even setting records!

We need a new direction.

Please...make me a list of which of the above things YOU want changed in our new direction.

Now, aren't you glad you elected representatives who are going to take us in "a new direction?"

New Blogger

It happened.

Blogger FORCED me to use New Blogger.

Now nothing I try to do works.

I have been days trying to make it work.

Finally I can write a blog.

I can't upload pictures.

I can't use colors.

I can't do anything!

"Nothing will change." it said.

I tried to submit a description of my problems.

It would not submit.

I had to jump through six hoops before they would allow me to blog again.

I am 65 years old weigh 275 pounds and have heart trouble.

I don't jump through hoops.

Period.

If you can read this, please report my troubles to blogger, tell them to fix my problems, call me, apologize in person, send me $1,000,000.00 in penalties and give me back my First Amendment rights to opine!

(Two out of three would be acceptable.)

I WANT OLD BLOGGER BACK!!!!!!

The March

The year was 1964.

The place was St. Augustine, Florida.

I was living in St. Augustine while earning money to continue college st Stetson University in Deland.

The CBS Evening News, featuring the venerable Walter Cronkite, announced that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was coming to St. Augustine to help the Southern Christian Leadership Conference stage peaceful protests in support of the equal treatment of "colored" Americans.

Because I believed (and still believe) in that cause, I decided to join the march and protests.

The march was uneventful.

The presence of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. created an aura of excitement and great dignity.

At lunch time, there was to be a sit-down protest at restaurants around town.

At the same time, "whites" in the city decided to boycot the restaurants that allowed "blacks" to eat at them.

I chose to go to my favorite lunch hang-out and eat with the protesters.

When I left the restaurant, I was greeted by two very large individuals of the white persuasion who threatened to take me out back and paint me black with shoe polish.

A deputy Sheriff pulled up to the corner where I was standing, and I promptly stepped over to the car and struck up a converstion with the deputy.

When I did so, the two very large individuals left the area, for which I was personally grateful.

That night the CBS Evening News showed what were supposed to be pictures of the arrest or Dr. King and of him being led up the stairs of the courthouse. Then they panned what was supposed to be a large crowd of mostly white people watching the proceedings.

Now, I worked across the street from the courthouse, and I know that the pictures shown on CBS were NOT of the St. Augustine courthouse, nor was there room for a crowd the size the network tried to make us believe was there.

Additionally, the pictures of Dr. King being arrested were pictures taken somewhere other than St. Augustine. They were not taken in St. Augustine.

That was the first time I realized that everyone who thinks the news tells you the truth is totally deceived.

Today, more than ever, I believe in the precepts set forth in Dr. King's famous speach:

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

What a different America we would live in if we all had that same dream.

Have a meaningful Martin Luther King Day.

(By the way...why don't we use his correct name and call it Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day?)

How to Read

Those of you who have read my blog for a while (both of you) know that from time to time I go on a rantette about poor interpretations of Scripture due to unfamiliararity with rules of sentence structure.

So let's set this up.

I have driven in many cities: Miami, Florida; Tampa, Florida; Jacksonville, Florida; Atlanta Georgia; Boston Massachusetts and New York City, to name a few.

None of the cities in which I have driven have been more terrifying than Atlanta, Boston and New York City.

One could reasonably say, "Drive yourself in those cities with fear and trembling."

It is much better to let public transit do the driving in places like that.

I love airplanes.

I fly several times each week.

Only I don't fly real airplanes.

I fly Microsoft's Flight Simulator 2004: A Century of Flight.

You would do well to stay off any actual aircraft behind whose yoke I sat.

One could reasonably say, "Board an aircraft flown by Joe Scoggins with fear and trembling."

It would be much better to let real pilots fly those planes.

There is a Scripture that I have heard quoted by many pastors, each of whom attempted to interpret it, and each of whom had to twist it to make it say what they perceived as something that makes sense.

Here is the verse:

Philippians 2:12 "Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. "

Invariably, preachers try to make this verse command us to work out our own salvation while trying to avoid making it sound like a faith of works.

Actually, it is absolutely, positively NOT instructing us to work out our own salvation.

In the same sense that the statements above are used ("Drive in those cities with fear and trembling." and "Board an aircraft flown by Joe Scoggins with fear and trembling."), so is this verse used: "...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."

We know this by the context of the verses ahead of it:

5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. 9 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: 10 That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; 11 And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.;

and the verses following it:

13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

Perhaps rendering it this way would help:

If you are going to try to work out your own salvation, you had better do it with fear and trembling, 'cause if it isn't done by God working it in you, it isn't going to get done.

In other words, you can't work it out yourself. Period.

It would be much better to let the real Savior do the saving for you.

This is the only way Phillipians 2:12 fits with its immediate context and the context of the rest of Scripture.

Plus, it is the only way to find the Gospel in this verse, for the Gospel requires God to do the saving through Christ, not of ourselves, or else we would boast of our accomplishment.

Now, aren't you glad that you have me to help you through these things?

A friend of mine, Guy Taylor, sent this to me. I thought you might like to see it.

Weather Bulletin - North Dakota

THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A MOMENT.

North Dakota News

This text is from a county emergency manager out in the western part ofNorth Dakota state after a snowstorm.

WEATHER BULLETIN

Up here, in the Northern Plains, we just recovered from a Historic event---may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" --- with a historic blizzard of up to 44 inches of snow and winds to 90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed ALL roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands.

FYI:

George Bush did not come.

FEMA did nothing.

No one howled for the government.

No one blamed the government.

No one even uttered an expletive on TV .

Neither Jesse Jackson nor Al Sharpton visited.

Our Mayor did not blame Bush or anyone else.

Our Governor did not blame Bush or anyone else, either.

ABC, CBS or NBC did not report on this snowstorm. Nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.

No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House.

No one looted.

Nobody - I mean NOBODY demanded the government do anything.

Nobody expected the government to do anything, either.

No Larry King, No Bill O'Rielly, No Oprah, No Chris Mathews and No Geraldo Rivera.

No Shaun Penn, No Barbara Striesand, No Hollywood types to be found.

Nope, we just melted the snow for water.

Sent out caravans of SUV's to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars.

The truck drivers pulled people out of snow banks and didn't ask for a penny.

Local restaurants made food and the police and fire departments delivered it to the snowbound families.

Families took in the stranded people - total strangers.

We fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Coleman lanterns.

We put on extra layers of clothes because up here it is "Work or Die".

We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes for 'sittin at home' checks.

Even though a Category "5" blizzard of this scale has never fallen this early, we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.

"In my many travels, I have noticed that once one gets north of about 48 degrees North Latitude, 90% of the world's social problems evaporate."

It does seem that way, at least to me.

I hope this gets passed on.

Maybe SOME people will get the message. The world does Not owe you a living

Me-Me

Pride and selfishness are closely related sins.

In an effort to avoid insensitivity, we refer to recent generations as "me" generations.

Truth is, they are selfish generations.

The theme of this generation seems to be, "I want what I want, when I want it, where I want it, the way I want it and I want it right now."

Delayed gratification is a thing of the past.

Children, by nature, believe that the entire world is about them. That's because they have no contrary experience.

Teens are supposed to be discovering that the universe does not revolve around them.

Young adults, it should be able to be assumed, are supposed to be beginning to be other oriented.

Sadly, parents are afraid to teach their children the importance of serving others, rather than self, because of pressure put upon them by celelbrities, politicians and the intellectual elite.

The result is that neither teens nor young adults have a grasp of societal otherness, let alone an idea of how to use their talents to serve others.

As for Biblical admonitions to "raise up a child in the way he should go...," and to "spare the rod and spoil the child...," et. al., they are regarded as passe ideas that are not relevant today.

Is it any wonder, then, that a common complaint of parents is, "I just can't do a thing with him/her?"

From a purely practical point of view, how on earth is it that a 120 pound mother or a 200 pound father cannot control a 40 - 60 pound child?

Isn't it high time to pocket Dr. Spock (who recanted his recommendations, by the way), relearn the concept of firm, but loving, discipline and begin raising generations that at the least know how to be polite?

(I hear voices from all over crying, Dr. who? To which I respond, "No, not Dr. Who. He was a British time traveler. Dr. Spock, the early purveyor of permissiveness in child rearing.")

Will you be the parent who dares to say to your "sensitive" offspring, "Because I'm the Mommy, that's why."?

Or Daddy.

Oh Bother!

I am bothered by some things.

1) I am bothered that we now have a person serving a Speaker of the House who thinks of herself as a queen.

2) I am bothered that the citizens of this country who bother to inform themselves of things political seem to like the idea of higher taxes, more stress on small businesses, killing babies before they are born, stabbing a sharp instrument into the base of the skull of a baby about to be born after forcing him/her to be born breech, allowing babies to be aborted for the sole purpose of harvesting stem cells for "research" that has not had one single solitary success in treating any human disease of any kind, pulling the life support from a person who is of low estate while not even considering it for one "of their own" who may very well never recover from his condition....ahhh...what's the use?

3) I am bothered by the multiple divisions in Christianity, whose adherents would rather argue over this doctrine or that than seek the unity for which their Savior prayed (John 17), whose adherents would rather allow their feelings and/or emotions to supercede the Word of God in their behavior and worship and whose adherents wallow in catatonic inaction with regard to telling others about Jesus' offer of salvation.

4) I am bothered by my own cynicism, excusing it as "my spiritual gift." (II Hezekiah 4:12)

5) I am bothered by Christians who confuse their own thinking and vain imaginations as being the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

6) I am bothered by Christians who exercise spiritual pygmyism fighting about musical styles, pew colors, hymns over praise choruses and praise choruses over hymns, etc., etc., etc.

7) I am bothered by people who call themselves Christians who do not realize that there is absolutely no further revelation about the character of God, His love of His creation, or His plan for its redemption than is already revealed in His Holy Word.

8) I am bothered by Christians who stubbornly and quite mean-spiritedly believe that God revealed His Word in 17th Century English, and who do not even understand the 17th century, single sylable, three letter word "wot," used frequently in Bibles translated in that era.

9) I am bothered that I am bothered by so many things...and, frankly, that bothers me.

10) I wish that I were not bothered by being bothered by so many things so that when things bother me I would not be bothered so much.

Does all of this bother you?

Be It Therefore Resolved

1) I will blog every single day, rain or shine, hail or high water, what or may.

2) I will skip some days when I don't feel like blogging.

3) I will earn my second million dollars this year.

4) I have decided to work on my second million, since it is clear that I will never make my first million.

5) I will treat everybody with dignity and respect.

6) Except the people I know who have no dignity and don't deserve respect.

7) I will lose weight.

8) I've lost hundreds of pounds over the years and found every one of them...right where I left them.

9) I will have no more heart attacks.

10) They hurt.

11) Concerning the 2008 presidency: If nominated, I will not run and if elected, I will not serve.

12) I will no longer forget what I am talking about in mid..........

See You Soon, Elizabeth

I just found out that a very good friend of mine, named Elizabeth died of cancer Christmas day.

I have known Elizabeth for 20 some-odd years, since my early days at WSOR radio.

Elizabeth used to call seeking my "wisdom" on many matters. She also volunteered when I became manager of WJYO, helping with the music library.

She had her troubles, including several emotional disorders that kept her from being able to hold jobs very long, but she was loyal to Christian radio for many years.

Elizabeth trusted Jesus as much as anybody I have ever known.

She was my friend.

According to her sister, on Christmas morning Elizabeth acknowledged that she would be "seeing Jesus today."

She died a short time later.

She had lived here in Lehigh Acres for as long as I have known her, but had family in New York, which is where she will be burried.

Elizbeth was fond of the sign-off I have use for over 23 years in radio.

It goes:

"I'll be back tomorrow, and if you'll join me, we'll spend time together praising God through music and the Word. I look forward to that. Have a great day today. Make it a Christ filled day, and, the Lord willing, I'll see you here tomorrow morning. But if I don't see you here...I'll see you over there."

And so, Elizabeth, I know I won't see you any more here.

But I'll see you soon...

over there.

WELL, HERE IT IS!

H A P P Y

N E W

Y E A R!

See...it just can't happen.

A virgin cannot become pregnant and have a child.

That is an anatomical impossibility.

We know that.

The fact that it happened is what makes it a miracle.

What miracle is there to an event that happens tens of thousands of times a day?

None.

But for a virgin to become pregnant and bear a child...

That's a miracle.

And what a son!

(By the way, did anyone notice that she knew ahead of time that it would be a son...even without ultrasound?)

He was not only her son...he was God's son.

That just makes my head spin.

I wish I could figure out how that was done and all that it means.

But I cannot.

All the college, university, post graduate work and seminary training I received never came close to preparing me for its reality.

My wildest imaginations cannot fathom how the Holy Ghost accomplished it.

My most intellectual musings cannot begin to scratch the surface of all that it means.

To say that the birth of Messiah is extraordinary does it no justice whatsoever.

Neither you nor I have the words to express what went on.

This I do know, however: No other birth in the history of the universe has affected mankind like this one.

America, and other countries, too, may try to disparage, deny and denigrate it.

They may try to outlaw it, banish it and ridicule it.

But try as they might, they cannot squelch it.

Not even Wal-Mart could stand up to it.

On this day (yeah, I know, we can reasonably question the actual date) we celebrate the second most meaningful event ever...the birth of Yashua bar Yoseph ben Nazareth; Jesus, the Christ.

(The first occured after it: the resurrection of Christ, without which, Paul wrote, we would all be fools.)

I am so awed by it

So confounded by it

So humbled by it

That all I have left to say is:

MERRY CHRIST MAS!

Denominationally Speaking

Being a politically correct type, a worship leader and not wanting to insult women of a certain hair color, I submit the following:

A worship leader goes to the post office to buy stamps for Christmas cards.

He tells the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"

The clerk asks, "What denomination?

Puzzled, the worship leader exclaims, "God help us!" Has it come to this? Give me six Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptist."

Worship leaders are a unique bunch; a strange blend of creativity, practicality and spirituality that, hopefully, translates into meaningful worship.

However, they have pecular habits.

Do you know how worship leaders turn pages?

Lick left index and middle fingers;
turn pages with right index and middle fingers...
Lick left index and middle fingers;
turn pages with right index and middle fingers...
Lick left index and middle fingers;
turn pages with right index and middle fingers.
(Try this in real life and you'll get the point).

Ode To the New Worship Leader

Here's to the new slick Minister of Music
A most delightful fella.
When he's directing and you're not expecting,
He'll switch to acappella, then
Isn't it a lovely sound,
With no instruments to drown
All of the voices blending so?
Isn't it a pure delight?
Wonder how the Campbellites
Found out about it long ago.
You'll not regret a Sunday operetta,
Just pay your tithe and come on in.
And for religion We'll get a smidgen
Between the special music and the parting hymn.
A-men.....A-women.

A worship leader was out on the lake in his fishing boat.

The Fish and Wildlife officer pulled up beside his boat and declared, "I must come aboard for a safety inspection."

"Welcome aboard," declared the worship leader. "When you're through inspecting, join me for some fishing."

"Will do!" said the officer.

At that point the worship leader pulled out a stick of dynamite, lit its fuse and tossed it in the lake.

It exploded and dozens of fish floated to the surface, which the worship leader just scooped up with his net.

"Hey!" shouted the F & W officer, "Don't you know that's illegal? Why I could fine you $700.00 for each time you do that!"

With that, the worship leader reached into his box, pulled out a stick of dynamite, lit its fuse and tossed it to the Wildlife officer, who caught it in mid air.

As the fuse quickly burned shorter, the worship leader asked, "Well, tell me, now...are you talkin' or fishin?"

Murphy's Factoids

-- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

-- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

-- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

-- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

-- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

-- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of gettingsomething right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

-- If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

-- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

-- The things that come to those who wait will be the things left overby those who got there first.

-- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

-- The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

-- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

(I promise...I'll get to Christmas...hopefully before Christmas of this year.

THE MORONIC OXYMORON REVISITED

In my Sunday School classes over the years I have posed the question that I asked in the blog-before-last.

Here is the question:

If a scientist were able to create life in a test-tube, would that be evidence for or against the intelligent origin of life?

I almost always got the same reaction I got from you, dear blog-reader. A blank stare that seemed to say, "Duhhhhh...what's he talking about?"

Here's the explanation.

If a person is a scientist he/she is supposed to be intelligent.

If a scientist is intelligent, he/she would realize that by simply mixing what already exists (ie:the elements in the test-tube) he/she is not creating, mearly re-arranging.

If the re-arranging of the elements brought forth life, one thing is clear: that life neither "created" itself nor happened by accident.

If it did not happen by itself or by accident, then it must have been by design.

One may conclude, therefore, that the life resulted from intelligent intervention.

If we try to assume that the life happened by itself or by accident, then we must conclude that the scientist is not intelligent. Not an altogether foolish postulation.

It requires the obvious: Life could not possibly have happened by itself or by accident, therefore must have been created by intelligent design, whom we call (upon prompting from Scriptre) God.

I love questions like this, for they reinforce my faith, all of which comes from The Creator, Himself, to begin with.

How cool is that?

FRUSTRATION PERSONIFIED!

For some time, Blogger has had an encouragement to me in my "dashboard" to switch to the new format.

Today I finally gave in.

Guess what! It would not let me change!

Furthermore, I could not comment on many of your blogs which had been changed over because they would not recognize my username and password!

This was not universally true, but seemed random.

There was a link to a lame explanation...something to the effect that they were changing a few at a time.

Then, pray tell, why did they seem so insistant that I change?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

THE MORONIC OXYMORON

Here is a question for you to ponder:

If a scientist were able to create life in a test-tube, would that be evidence for or against the intelligent origin of life?

Montana Cowboy

My sweet wife, Bonnie, has a new web site. Its address is:

http://www.freewebs.com/friendsareagift/index.htm

A mutual friend send a story to the two of us.

Bonnie posted it on her website.

No to be out-done, and to preserve the fine art of blogelony theft, I am posting it, too.

Here it is:


A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Baryon suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , GermanyWithin seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy andSays, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows, this is a herd of sheep.

"Now give me back my dog."

Ramblin' Prose

I've been listening to different preachers lately.

A good message is priceless. Sadly, I don't hear many.

Scripture dictates the topic of a "Topical Sermon." (As opposed to finding a topic and seaching for some Scripture that supports the point of view. )

The other method of preaching exposes the Scripture verse-by- verse (which I personally like best.)

In either message, the preacher must have a point he wants to get to. (In my humble, but correct opinion, that should be how to be saved and grow closer to God through trust in, and only in, the finished work of Christ at Calvary.)

Each element of the message should lead logically to the next and move the speaker prgressively toward his/her point.

The sermon should end with a climax that points the audience to Jesus.

Instead, most of the sermons I hear go like this:

"Our text is II Hezekiah 4:12

"Ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, chase a rabbit...off topic, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, tell an unrelated joke, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble.

"Anybody here want to come to Jesus?"

I can hardly express my underwhelmment.