BEYOND A SHADOW OF A GOUT

I thought only old people got this stuff.

It is called "gout."

Gout is a condition caused when uric acid, which is normally distributed throughout the blood stream, leeches out and collects in one or more joints, usually the big toe joint, but it could be any joint.

In the blood stream, uric acid is sort of like Tang (you know, the orange drink of early astronauts) crystals.

When it becomes gout, it hurts. Really bad.

I have had three broken bones, each of which caused me to writhe in pain.

This is about three times as bad, pain-wise.

Its onset was a little less than a week ago, when it settled in my right foot, just in front of the heel.

That went away untreated and I thought all was well.

But this is sneaky stuff.

A couple of days ago, my left big toe knuckle began to hurt.

It got worse, and began to swell, and had a little circular red spot, right on the side of the toe-knuckle, that was so sensitive that a breath of air made it feel like an ice pick was stuck in that knuckle.

Last night, as I finished my post on my non-run for the Presidency, I inadvertantly kicked my desk with my gout-filled toe.

I do not recommend this course of action.

After shouting out in pain, at which my sweet wife, Bonnie, came running, only to stand by helplesly, there being nothing at all she could do for me, I began to laugh uncontrollably at the stupidity of the situation.

Bonnie became convinced that I was totally off my rocker.

It has taken her thirteen years to come to that realization.

I was laughing and crying at the same time.

Really strange.

Putting my feet under the covers at night was impossible, because even the bed sheet touching the center of that little spot caused excruciating pain.

The swelling got so bad that I literally thought my skin would split.

It didn't, for which I am grateful.

I finally got to see my doctor, Dr. Toro, whom I call Dr. Zorro, but not to his face,who prescribed some meds.

I sit in front of my computer with only a sort of dull ache, but it is markedly better, pain-wise.

Why do I share this with you? What great wisdom do I intend to impart with this narrative?

I have absolutely no idea.

Except, as with most blogging, it is cathartic.

I sure wish I knew the meaning of "cathartic."

It would certainly afford me a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension.

That would be nice.

Ah ammmmm gething dizzzzzie frahm the medcin.

Goo night owl.