SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY

I thought that by the time I was sixty-five years old I would know everything there was to know.

I thought at least that I would know more than I knew when I was a teen-ager and thought I already knew everything there was to know.

But I have discovered that the old adage "You learn something new every day," is quite true.

In 1982 God led me into Christian radio ministry.

My first manager had led the station at which I worked to become a nationally known, award winning station.

He taught me quite a number of things.

For instance, he taught me that contributions follow ministry.

In other words, if the listeners perceive that they are being ministered to they will support the ministry.

And they did...to the tune of $350,000.00 per year, plus.

Furthermore, I learned that the needs of the listeners as a group were more important than the needs of any individual listener, including any single contributor, business underwriter or church member.

I was also taught that we didn't depend on our opinions of what listeners needed, we actually regularly surveyed them and found out what they needed, in order to provide their listening needs objectively, not subjectively.

He also taught me that we work together as a team.

It was nothing, if one of the staff was put on a task that pulled him/her away from his/her regular duties, for the manager to step in and do the duties until the staff could get back to them.

In fact, the entire staff had the attitude, "If something needs doing and the person normally responsible for it could not get to it, I'll do it for him/her."

The station manager thought that was a good thing.

It was.

Another thing he taught us was that no station issue was worth sacrificing our health, our interpersonal relationships, our families or our church involvement.

The result of that was that the entire staff had confidence that they were safe from ridicule, disrespect and unfair practices.

Community involvement was a high priority at that award-winning, well supported Christian radio station.

We regularly could be seen at local church and para-church ministry events.

If a community ministry had an event such as a walk-a-thon, or a car wash, or a Bible conference or a special concert, we would be there...often doing a remote broadcast from the event.

We also were regularly found at the evening worship services of various churches, often with five minutes of platform time to promote the station and to survey the congregation, thus finding out their actual preferences.

The manager taught us that this was an important part of serving the local community.

Another thing that was drummed into our little heads was that we were there to serve as many different ministries as possible.

We actually sought out opportunities to make announcements about special events of interest to the general Christian community.

The manager believed that the more announcements about local ministry, church and para-church events we were able to make, the greater our listening audience would be.

We learned that the greater the audience, the greater the support.

The manager realized that employees in Christian radio are not employees in the worldly sense, but are actually as much ministers as a pastor, worship leader or educational director in a local church.

There were times when a staff member would make a mistake or an error in judgement.

At those times, the manager would adopt the Biblical principle of gentle restoration, being a spiritual person himself, helping the staff member to learn from his/her mistake.

He never would have dreamed of correcting a staff member in front of other staff members, but realized that such behavior was invariably, totally counter-productive.

He would have considered such behavior barbaric and instead would have dealt with the staff member calmly and privately.

His demeanor would never have been loud, abusive, derisive or hateful. He would have considered yelling as being un-Christlike.

The manager not only believed in, but practiced the Biblical admonition not to sin by being angry, and not to let the sun go down on any anger he might have had.

To a person, the staff sought to please the manager, not out of fear, but out of love, gratitude and respect.

In fact, the relationship among the staff is one that continues to this day.

The station I worked at was bought out by a national Christian network and eventually everybody was let go (except for one person, who still works for them). The station lost its local flavor and is now a regional station.

Yet the former staff still gets together once a year for lunch or dinner to catch up on what each one is doing and to remember various good times.

God has allowed me to remain in Christian radio.

Our station is Kingdom FM .

I've had to unlearn a lot of what I had learned.

There have been a lot of very, very different things to learn.

I am actually glad that even as an elder (in the age sense, not the church office sense), I can still learn.

But some things never change.

The only thing instilling fear in an employee accomplishes is to cause him/her to run from it.

There are no circumstances in which the imposition of fear causes an employee, even one who should be considered a minister, to want to do a better job.

MANAGING IT

The other day I got angry.

As I look back, in the great scheme of things, it was a petty thing.

But I chose to get angry over it.

And that is my point.

I spent many years of my life being angry, from the inside out.

Let me tell you a thing or two about anger.

1) Anger is always about self.

Suppose you are driving along and some person cuts in front of you.

You can do as many of us do and react in anger.

But do you have to?

No.

You could just slow down and let him in.

So why don't you?

The thinking goes like this: I didn't want that person to cut in front of me. I wanted that person to let me do my driving the way I wanted to. That person caused me to do something that I did not want to do, that is, slow down. But I didn't want to slow down, but I had to so I chose to get angry.

Notice how many times the reference to "I" showed up?

2) Anger never solves the problem.

No matter how angry I get, the other person STILL cut in front of me. Not only that, he/she went on his/her merry way oblivious to my anger (unless, of course, I chose to express my anger by blowing the horn, which could have no effect at all, or could result in him/her getting out of his/her car with a 12-guage and blowing me off the map).

3) Anger feeds anger.

Ever notice that when you get angry, you tend to get angrier?

Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:"

Most people struggle with having to twist this and turn it to make it make sense.

Actually, that's not necessary.

A little understanding of 1611 King James English will help.

They would have understood it to mean: Don't sin by being angry.

"What?" I can hear you ask. "Didn't Jesus get angry when He tossed the money changers out of the temple?"

Uh...read me the part about His anger.

Fact is, you concluded that He was angry, but the text does not say that.

I'm not saying that He wasn't angry...I'm just saying that the Bible does not SAY it.

In the end, whether you get angry at a given situation or not, is 100% your choice.

I recommend that you choose not to be angry.

You'll feel better.

THIS IS THE DAY

Today is my wife's birthday.

She is...well, never mind.

She's the pretty one on the left in the picture.

Let me tell you about my wife.

She is the light of my life in this world.

She is the reason I hurry home from work each day.

She puts a smile on my face.

She calms my frazzled nerves.

She smiles better than Mona Lisa.

She wiggles her nose better than Peter Rabbit.

She can wrinkle up her face cuter than our two pugs.

She can flash her eyes better than a Fourth of July fireworks display.

She is so cute I get joy just being in the same room with her.

She laughs at my jokes (most people just moan).

She scratches places on my back that I cannot reach, and her touch is ten times better than that wooden back-scratcher we have.

She compliments my cooking.

She always thanks me when I do something for her.

She talks to me and with me...I love that.

She loves me...I don't know why, but she does.

She loves computers as much...no, more...as I do (she has bunches of websites).

She gets up with me at 5:00 am and we have breakfast together before I go to work.

If I leave this world before she does, I will stand before our Lord, praising Him with all of my being, but I will always be looking out of the corner of my eye, looking forward to the time when she joins me in forever.

Bonnie J. Scoggins, I love you from the depth of my being.

Happy birthday, my sweet love.

TIME FOR A CHANGE

I was reading Sweeter than Ever. It's a great post about using each day to its fullest in terms of time.

Time is an interesting concept.

Einstein believed that time was both physical and relative.

That's hard to grasp, but we have all had the experience of one hour passing more quickly than another.

And the older you get, the faster time seems to flow.

Maybe it's only the perception of time that seems to flow faster.

At any rate, I'm 65 years old.

I can tell you that time seems to move very rapidly.

When I was in my thirties, I remember thinking time was passing faster than it had when I was in my teens.

Now it goes by even faster.

How can this be?

Yet, when I am timing my boiling egg, three-and-a-half minutes seems to take too long.

I used to get impatient with the mail.

Then I got Internet access and I got impatient with dial-up email.

Now I have high-speed Internet, and I hate waiting the twelve or so seconds for my email to load.

And nothing is more time consuming than standing in line at Wal-Mart.

(Does anybody remember the signs at Wall-Mart that use to say: "At Wal-Mart you're always next in line?" They're gone, now...must be a sign of the times).

My doctor tells me that I'm living on borrowed time.

Does one pay interest on borrowed time?

Maybe I could loan some time to someone so that I could draw the interest.

But then what if they didn't pay it back?

How does one best spend one's time?

How are we compensated for the time we spend?

To be sure, we are laying up treasures in Heaven when we spend our time the way God wants us to.

Does that mean that I should only do things that are "heavenly" in nature?

If so, what does that mean?

If I spend time with my wife, does that count as treasure laid up in Heaven?

How about my kids?

Or time in a prison ministry?

I don't mean in jail...I mean visiting prisoners.

If the word "amuse" comes from roots that mean "without thought," is it wrong for me to watch a funny show on TV?

What if it makes me laugh? A merry heart doeth the body good.

Someone said we should spend more time with God.

If I am a Christian, is it possible for me to spend time without God?

I thought God was omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient.

So.

Do you have time to read this post about time?

What time is it, anyway?

Well, as I live and breathe!

It's time for me to take a nap.

DEALING WITH THE UNDEALABLE

Thirty-two people are gone for no reason.

Their lives taken by a disturbed person whose mind we cannot fathom.

Why does what happened to Don Imus seem so empty now?

Why is there no global warming on the front page today?

No non-missing missing emails are of any concern today.

Thirty-two people who had hopes, dreams and plans are gone.

Is it, after all, true that the very essence of life is more important than the inane, day-to-day fallderall in which we choose to imerse ourselves?

There are those insensitive drones who will (and already have) try to politicize this horriffic event.

Meanwhile, thirty-two people with heights to rise to and appointments with destiny are gone.

"Shouldn't the school have been locked down after the first shootings?" one very stupid reporter asks.

Inept reporters on CBS, NBC and ABC have asked the very same questions...as if these questions were burning on our minds and hearts.

Are you so out of touch, o venerable reporters that you really think that's what we are asking?

You want to know what we are asking? Here's what:

Why are thirty-two people, who deserved to live as much as you do, gone?

Is this a wake-up call to the need for more gun legislation?

What if six of the students in the building had had hand-guns.

Maybe only six or eight would have died before the gunman was dispached.

But that all misses the point right now.

The point is, thirty-two people who were trying to make themselves the best they could be are gone.

Can we lay the blame at the feet of the Virginia Tech administration.

Not if you have one ounce of decency about you.

You lay the blame at the feet of the crazed gunman or you are no better than he.

Like it or not...believe it or not...wish it were not so or not, this is a sin-filled world and the fact of its sinfulness laid bare yesterday for all to see.

And thirty-two people are gone.

Over twentyfive hundred military personnel and civilians were killed in an attack at Pearl Harbor, and that was hard to understand. But it was, after all, an act of war.

Almost three thousand people were killed on what has come to be known simply as 9/11. And that was hard to understand. But it was, after all, an act of war.

Over three thousand military personnel have been killed in Iraq, and that is hard to understand. But it is, after all, an act of war.

But this....

Thirty-two people killed by one man, one at a time, in just minutes.

Talk about hard to understand.

How many more wake-up calls will it take before we finally decide to run to the outstretched arms of a waiting God who offers refuge?

How many more debates will there be by politicians who have only their self-interests at heart until we discover that they will not...cannot solve our problems?

How long before we discover that our society has sunk to a moral level beneath that of a back-alley prostitute?

How long until we admit that we have lost all sense of propriety, politeness, dignity and respect?

My thinking is that it is still a long way off.

Issue all the decrees you wish.

Pass all the gun legislation you will.

Give us all bullet-proof vests to wear.

Put bars on all of the doors and windows.

Make us prisoners in our own freedoms.

And still, in time, there will be another day when thirty-two people (perhaps more, perhaps fewer) will be gone, killed by the hand of a disturbed person.

Columbine gave us a chance to learn a lesson.

We did not learn it.

We have been given other opportunities.

We did not take them.

Isn't it time to start learning?

Lord, even as we praise your very goodness, we ask for your special peace to fall upon the families affected by the deaths of those at Virginia Tech. Show us how we can help and enable us to do so. We pray it in Jesus' name.

HOW TO READ PART WHATEVER

Let's do a BIBLE study!

Let's look at Matthew 28:19.

Most people do not seem to understand this passage, as evidenced by their actions.

Perhaps they have trouble reading it, so here I am to help.

In this Bible study, you will be given some choices from which to choose that will help you with your understanding.

For simplicity's sake, we will take it one word at a time.

Matthew 28:19

"Go..."

Select the best meaning for the word, "Go:"

1) Move from where you are to somewhere else.
2) Stay
3) Meditate
4) Pray
5) Give money to missions

Did you choose number one?

Oh, good! You can read two-letter, one-syllable words.

Let's try another.

"Ye" (Some translations use the word, "you." Others adopt the conventionally understood "you" as the subject of the sentence).

Select the best definition of the word "ye:"

1) You, yourself (as opposed to someone else) - Second person singular or plural.
2) Nobody
3) The other person
4) Men only
5) Women and children first

Did you select number one?

Oh, good! You have reinforced the idea that you can read two-letter, one-syllable words.

"Therefore"

Select the best definition of the word "therefore:"

1) A conjunction connecting the thoughts of this command with the thought Jesus iterated that He has the power and authority to tell you to do it.
2) If you want to
3) Who knows?
4) A shout used on the golf course to keep others from being hit by your ball.

Did you select number one?

Oh, good!

That's a big one. Two syllables and nine letters!

How well you are doing!

"And"

Select the best definition of the word "and:"

1) A conjunction connecting the first command in the verse with the commands to follow.
2) A small, six-legged insect found at picnics.
3) Particles of silica found on beaches
4) A word inserted to confuse you.

Did you select number one?

Oh, good!

We're making progress!

"Teach"

Choose the best definition of the word "teach:"

1) Transfer information meaningfully from one person to another.
2) Preach
3) Run
4) Nag

Did you select number one?

Oh, good!

How are you doing so far?

"All"

Choose the best definition of the word "all:"

1) Including each and every one
2) Some
3) A few
4) A sharp pointy tool

Did you choose number one?

Oh, good!

We're rollin' now!

"Nations"

Choose the best definition of the word "nations:"

1) Countries where people live
2) Vast, void expanses of water
3) Underground oil deposits
4) The undercarriage of your car

Did you select number one?

Oh, good!

Progress used to be GE's most important product.

"baptizing"

Warning!! Trick question!

Choose the best definition of the word, "baptizing:"

1) Dipping a saved person beneath water in representation of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus.
2) Dipping a person beneath water as a part of his/her salvation package
3) Dripping a little water hither and yon
4) A religious ritual affirming that one is not Muslim, Buddhist or some other religion, therefore one must be Christian.

Did you select number one?

Oh, good!

You actually know how to read the part in terms of the whole.

To make a long story short (have you ever noticed that when people say that it is usually too late?), we'll skip to the last three nouns of the verse.

"Father," "Son," "Holy Ghost"

Choose the best definition of the nouns: "Father," "Son," and "Holy Ghost"

1) The three persons manifested by God of His ultimate being, to which we have give the name, "Trinity."
2) Three different Gods worshipped by "Trinitarians"
3) Three random and meaningless names found in the Bible
4) A dad, his kid and and expression of surprise.

Did you selection number one?

Oh, good!

You got it right.

Now that you, by your own evidence, understand this verse,

What are you actually going to DO?

GETTING THERE IS HALF THE FUN

One of my favorite friends is Steve Gimbert.

He can be heard on www.kingdomfm weekday afternoons 3:00 to 6:00.

He sent me this.

Get a laugh.

NEW YORK TO LONDON

Take 60 seconds to do this, I guarantee you will show someone else, it's too funny not to.

1. go to www.google.com

2. click on "maps"

3. click on "get directions" (under the search box to the right)

4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)

5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)

6. click "Get Directions"

7. scroll down to step #23

A NEW DAY DAWNS

I have no idea what that title means...it just sounded melodramatic, so I used it.

For newcomers to this blog (as well as oldcomers), I offer the following:

1. This is my blog.

2. Everybody is welcome to read this blog (although I think that might bring the entire Internet to a stop...I guess you could say it would get blogged down).

3. Anyone who wants to, may comment on this blog, caviatus followingus: no foul language; no disparaging remarks about other commenters and no actual physical contact allowed.

4. This blog will deal with whatever swirl of sense or nonsense is on my mind at the moment I begin a post.

5. You may disagree with me if you must. This is America (at least it is the location at which I usually post)...you have the absolute right to be wrong.

6. All opinions expressed by the "writer of this blog" (don't you just hate that expression? I know I do...I think that means "me"), are both humble and correct.

7. If you want my opinion on something, just ask. I have one on nearly everything.

8. If you don't want my opinion on something...why don't you?

9. I am the sole arbitor of what gets to exist in my little corner of cyberspace.

10. When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one nation...oh, never mind.

11. Some of my thoughts are original with me. Most are stolen from somewhere. Feel free to steal mine, as well. Or not.

12. My sister and I know the answers to almost all of the world's questions. You need to know, though, that if you ask me a question I will most likely refer you to my sister.

13. I love the Lord, Jesus, with all of my heart, mind, soul and strength...I confess, though, to having a little trouble with my neighbor, as well as myself.

14. I take Jesus very seriously.

15. I do not take you very seriously. I don't even take ME very seriously.

16. I have been a Worship Leader, Youth Director and/or Education Director in Southern Baptist churches since I was 17 years old. I am 65. You do the math...I'm too tired.

17. I am also an "announcer" (we are far too sophisticated to be DJs) at a Christian FM radio station, Kingdom FM, in Fort Myers, Florida. You may click on the following link to listen live. I do an on-air shift from 9:00 AM until Noon, weekdays, so you might want to listen some other time. Kingdom FM Christian Radio

18. I am disgusted by Voodoo Christianity: that which does not find absolute sufficiency in the person of Christ, without the addition of fakey, non-edifying, emotionalistic balder-dash.

19. I am very disturbed (at least that is the opinion of many...but I digress) by the number of times I have used the personal pronoun, "I" in this post.

20. Do you think I suffer from "I" trouble?

Give Me A Hypocritical Break!!

Imus.

He always has been, is now and always will be an idiot.

But if he gets fired for calling women the "h" name, then every hip-hop, rap and rock singer who has ever done the same must be fired, too.

If you think Imus should be fired, and they should not be, you are an inconsistent hypocrite as vile as he is.

Every time I go to the shopping center, I hear women called the "h" word. I hear the "F" word. I hear the "S" word. I hear words I don't even know what they mean.

I see women "flippin' " men off, men "flippin'" women off, women "flippin'" women off and men "flippin'" men off.

Most of them have even "flipped" ME off.

Don't give me that pathetic whine about society becoming insensitive. What a total crock!

Of course society is becoming insensitive! And most of the most insensitive are the most highly paid.

Actors do it and its OK.

Journalists do it and its OK.

Take Michael Moore (Good idea...would somebody please take him). He is as vulgar as they come. And a liar. And fat.

How about Mrs. John Hines-Kerry (or is it Kerry-Hines)?

She is a very vulgar, despicable person.

Far from the "Hippy-Dippy weatherman," there's George Carlin. He's made a career of using offensive language and calling people names.

Has he been fired?

Get REAL!

Now, I hate what Imus said.

I wish he would come to the Lord and never even think such a thing again.

But fired?

That's just plain STUPID.

The Gloves Are Off

OK.

The gloves are coming off!

I've had it!

No more Mr. Nice Guy...I'm tellin' it like it is (for you purists: as it is).

Let me start with this truth: God is sovereign.

He can do absolutely, positively, anything He wants to do, when He wants to do it, where He wants to do it, for whatever reason He wants to do it.

He is God.

I am not.

Neither are you.

You do not get to tell me what God is like, and I don't get to tell you what God is like.

God tells us what He is like, and He knows best.

So don't go saying that Joe Scoggins doesn't think God can do anything. He can.

Is that clear? 'Cause that's important.

That said, God has told us what He is like and what He chooses to do.

He has done that in His Word, the Bible.

Everything you need to know about God is found in the Word of God.

Nothing you need to know about God is not found in the Word of God.

Everything you think you know about God that is not found in the Word of God, you just made up.

That goes whether you are a liberal (many of whom make up things about God), a conservative (many of whom also make up things about God), or a "moderate," (who is just someone who does not know what he/she believes and won't take a stand...many of whom also make up things about God).

People make things up about God because they either don't know what He really says, they want Him to say (or do) more than He says, or they are unsatisfied with the Person of Jesus and His finished work at the cross of Calvary.

"OK, Joe," I can hear you say. "Where is this rant coming from?

I have been watching our local Christian TV station a lot lately (Most of secular TV has no relevance to me any more).

Our local Christian TV station has changed hands and has started airing the most outrageous, un-Biblical, spiritual nonsense programs you can imagine...all claiming to be Christian.

Balder-everlovin'-blue-eyed-dash!

There is nothing remotely Christian about what they are expounding.

Here's the rub.

One program claims that you can get extra blessings from God by tithing to them.

Heresy!

Another claims a "fourth" dimension.

Heresy!

Still another prays over a stack of what is supposed to be letters of healing requests in a box three feet high, two feet wide and five feet long and proclaims that all of those requests have been healed.

Heresy!

On one program the "worship leader," or whoever he is, just walks around looking spiritually smug and self-importantly serious, saying almost nothing while the congregation convulses and writhes physically and emotionally.

He calls it the work of The Holy Spirit.

Heresy!

One guy (actually several of them do this) starts to babble mono-syllables, some of which are repeated over and over and over and over ad-infinitum, calls it the Spirit speaking through him in "tongues," and then tells us to send money.

Heresy!

There is a "preacher" who dresses in a sort of modified Nehru outfit and seemingly hits people in the head with the palm of his hand, knocking them over, and then grinning with a silly look as he proclaims them "healed."

Heresy!

Now I am not arguing whether or not God heals.

Neither am I addressing whether God can use unusual methods.

I'm not even considering the so-called gift of tongues as erroneously practiced in many religious venues today.

What I am saying is the following.

God has given us a model of the things He wants us to do.

For instance, He has given us a model prayer (we often mistakenly call it "The Lord's Prayer").

Instead of following the model of the very prayer Jesus, Himself, gave us, most of us pray "gimmie, gimmie gimmie...God do this...God do that...let me explain to you, O Holy God, how You should handle this situation...then do it my way so I will continue to believe in and trust you and bless you with my approval."

Another model He has given us is the model of laying down our lives.

Jesus said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friend."

After He said it, he demonstrated it.

At the cross.

And, yes, He demonstrated healing.

God heals.

God heals when He heals.

He does not mess around.

When He heals, his healing is immediate and complete.

When He does not heal, He does not heal.

He gets to choose, 'cause He is God and I'm not.

I can't understand how He does it when He does it, why He doesn't do it when He doesn't do it.

And I don't need to know.

He is not required to check with me.

Nor is He required to report to me.

He is not responsible to me.

But there is not one single solitary model of the heresies listed above found in Scripture.

Sadly, the venues in which these programs take place are filled with people...hundreds, even thousands of them, who seem totally caught up in the emotional, idiotic, unscriptural falderall taking place.

What it really boils down to is this: for this group of leaders and their followers, the finished work of Jesus at the cross and His subsequent resurrection for the remission of our sins is not enough. If He is to be followed, He must do and/or be more.

Funny thing is, if His death, burial and resurrection is enough...totally enough...and you want/need nothing more, there is, paradoxically, more to come!

Don't fall for that "junk Christianity."

Avoid it like the proverbial plague.

In your life, make sure that Jesus, just Jesus is all sufficient.

Focus on Him, love Him, trust Him, serve Him and give your life for Him.

You won't need that other stuff.

Resurrection Sunday!

HE

IS

RISEN!!

INDEED!!

It's Friday, But Sunday's On the Way

Matthew 27:33-60

They came to a place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull).

There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it.

When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

And sitting down, they kept watch over him there.

Above his head they placed the written charge against him: ~this is jesus, the king of the jews.

Two robbers were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left.

Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, "You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!"

In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him.

"He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! He's the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him.

He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, 'I am the Son of God.'"

In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land.

About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"--which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

When some of those standing there heard this, they said, "He's calling Elijah."

Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink.

The rest said, "Now leave him alone. Let's see if Elijah comes to save him."


And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split.

The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life.

They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, "Surely he was the Son of God!"

Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs.

Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee's sons.

As evening approached, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who had himself become a disciple of Jesus.

Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus' body, and Pilate ordered that it be given to him.

Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock.

He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away.

HAPPY RESURRECTION SUNDAY!

Part One

My name is Asa.

It’s a Bible name.

At this time of year we celebrate a special occasion with a special meal.

The celebration is called "Passover," and the meal is called a Seder.

There are fifteen parts of the Passover Seder, but I want to talk about three.

One of the things we love is the fresh bread Mama makes. It is round, and full and soft and warm and holds honey and is very fluffy.

But at the Seder, the bread is not full and fluffy, it is flat and almost gummy or hard.

This signifies the fact that the Hebrews had no time to let their bread rise as they made a hurried escape from Egypt.

There are three loaves, one representing Abraham, one for Isaac and one for Jacob.

We also have bitter herbs and salt water.

The bitter herbs stand for the bitterness of slavery our ancestors endured.

And wine…there is always a deep red wine.

The wine represents the blood of a slain lamb that our ancestors smeared over the door jambs to save the children from the death angel in the last of the plagues in our Egyptian exile.

(We often use a lamb shank in the meal to symbolize that there is no longer a need to sacrifice an entire lamb.)

It is poured and prayed over four times during the Seder; once at the beginning, once after the maggid (a retelling of the Passover story – at which I get to ask The Four Questions ), once at the after-meal blessing and once for Elijah, who will usher in The Messiah.

At the meal, my father lifts the first loaf of bread (he calls it unleavened) from the stack, picks up the second loaf, tears it in half and places half of it aside in a cloth for "desert" later.

He then puts the bread back in a stack, a whole one on the bottom, the half-loaf in the middle and another whole one on top.

Later, the cloth in which the half-loaf was "hidden" is used to wash the feet of those present…representing the ultimate cleansing required for salvation.

All in all it is a solemn occasion that turns to joy as it progresses.

Part Two

My name is James.

It is a Bible name.

At intervals throughout the year, my brothers and sisters celebrate a special meal.

It consists of broken pieces of unleavened bread and wine.

It’s about Jesus.

He, like Asa’s half-loaf of matzo was in the middle of the stack, is in the middle of the Holy Trinity…Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Like Asa’s middle loaf, He was broken (on a cross) and wrapped in cloth, out of sight until the third day.

It is the middle piece of bread (the AfiKomen) that Jesus broke for the disciples when last He ate with His disciples, and with its cloth he washed their feet…even Judas’ feet…his betrayer.

The wine represents His shed blood, which is a covering for our sin…more than a covering, it cleanses our sin.

Like the "desert" at the end of Asa’s Seder, on the first day of the week, Jesus appeared to His disciples as the Sweet Savor of Salvation.

Today, He will indwell anyone who in faith, believing, will trust in, and only in, His finished work at the cross for the remission of our sin…to anyone who will agree with God that Jesus is Lord and that God has raised Him from the dead.

We who call ourselves Christians, gather regularly. To worship God together? Yes, but more than that: To celebrate the resurrection of our Savior.

So we have Resurrection Sunday (generally called Easter) all year ‘round.

I pray that you do, too.

HAVE FUN...............Healthy Insanity

A Friend and co-worker sent this to me...I, therefore, send it to you.


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See whether they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks yo to do something, ask whether they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it, "IN."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write, "For Smuggling Diamonds."

7. Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance witht he prophecy."

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. With a serious face, order a diet water whenever you go out to eat .

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

12. When the money comes out of the ATM machine, scream, "I won! I won!"

13. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

14. Over dinner, tell your children: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

15. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: read this blog periodically.

NORMALCY!

Things are back to "normal" at the radio station, Kingdom FM Christian Radio .

Sharathon 2007 is history.

I'm tired.

I'll post a real article tomorrow.

Thanks for your prayers.

Listen in...you'll like it if you like middle-of-the-road, inspirational and soft praise-and-worship music and strong Bible studies.

See you tomorrow.

SHARATHON 2007

Next week is our Sharathon 2007 at the Christian Radio station where I am the Production Director. (WJYO 91.5 fm Kingdom FM)

Each year we take a few days to ask listeners to make Faith Promises to the station to raise the operations funds for the year.

If you would like to become a listener, you can, no matter where you live. Simply go to www.kingdom.fm and click on listen live.

If you would like to contribute to the cause, the toll free number to call is 1-800-635-2122, or you can just send a check to Kingdom FM, P.O. Box 61721, Fort Myers, Florida 33906.

The Sharathon will go from 6:00 AM until 6:00 PM Eastern Time Tuesday, March 27 through Friday, March 30.

We do a nice mix of great Bible teaching programs, Inspirational and soft praise-and-worship music.

Pray for us, as this has not been a banner year for listener support (not a BAD year, just not as good as it could (should?) have been).

FYI: I do an on-air shift from 9:00 AM until Noon, Monday thru Friday...just in case you wanted to hear what I sound like, for some odd reason or another.

As I say every day when I sign off, "Have a great day! Make it a Christ-filled Day, and I'll see you here tomorrow morning. But if I don't see you here...I'll see you over there."

IS CHANGE IN THE AIR?

Let's say you are a Calvinist and you are reading this post.

Why that would be the case, I'm not sure, but for, the sake of argument, let's say that it is.

What would it take to cause you to change your Calvinist views?

Let's say you are an Arminianist and you are reading this post.

Why that would be the case, I'm not sure, but, for the sake of argument, let's say that it it.

What would it take to cause you to change your Arminian views?

I dare say either or both of you would quickly change your views as soon as someone showed you one or more Scriptures that made the case for the other side...right?

Or not?

Fact is, neither a died-in-the-wool Calvinist or a died-in-the-wool Arminianist is likely to change, because the Scripture can be used to "prove" either point of view.

The same can be said for any theological stance to which one holds, because, after much consideration, each of us thinks he/she is correct.

If, on the other hand, you do not think you are correct in the stance you take, why do you take it?

Truth is, Scripture is not a dissertation on how or why God does what He does or saves whom He saves.

It is His revelation of His character, His love for His creation and His plan for its redemption.

As long as we are bound to concerning ourselves with the "how" and the "why," we will miss the "Who."

The "Who" is Jesus.

I have heard incessant arguments for both sides and even for some dozens of sides on the periphery.

Not a single one of them has been persuasive.

Most of them end with a sort of, "Surely a person as intelligent as you can see that I'm right," attitude.

To which I reply: No, I can't.

Which reply either calls into question my intelligence, or the motive(s) of the questioner.

On the very day that Christians decide to major on the major (who is only Jesus), we will cease our bickering and will begin to attract the world to the One who came to save them.

As proof of this stance I offer John 13:35: "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."

And: John 17: 20 & 21: (20) "Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; (21) That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me."

Now that I have quoted some Scripture supporting my stance, have I convinced you to adopt the same stance?

Interesting.

JUDGE FOR YOURSELF

Should the Attorney General, Alterto Gonzales, be fired or asked to resign?

That is, and MUST be, 100% up to the President and Congress has NO RIGHT to even bring the subject up!

But you think they must have the right, because you believe the news.

President William Jefferson Clinton fired 93 AGs in ONE DAY.

He kept on Janet Reno in the face of the same kind of controversy.

The press reported, but gave almost no commentary on the events.

The President fires a few AGs and the press treats it like a scandal (they even call it that and you believe it is a scandal because your favorite newscaster said so), saying it was "politically motivated."

One fired AG says he was fired because "he wouldn't play ball."

RIGHT!!!!

That's why people get fired.

My boss would fire me if I did not play ball (he has told me so).

Your boss would fire you if you did not play ball.

If you were (or are) a boss, you would fire an employee who did not play ball.

And the AGs work for the President.

He is their boss, as outlined in the Constitution of the United States of America, if that counts for anything.

But you believe the Mainstream Press.

You will allow the MSP to fry AG, Alberto Gonzales.

You will not object to your Congressman.

You will not write or call.

You are too pussyfooted to either care or to do anything about it.

This is all for one reason, and one reason only: to put EVERY move George W. Bush makes in a bad light.

And you are playing right into their hands.

I heard an interview of an "expert" this very morning who was asked by the interviewer, with that "what I'm about to ask demand a certain respose" tone to his voice, "Is America safer today than we were before 9/11?"

The answer was 100% predictable: NO.

I'm certain that is because of all the attacks on america carried out by terroritsts since 9/11.

I'm certain that is because of the fear you and I wake up with every day, as we head out to our jobs and conduct our daily lives.

Now the truth is WE ARE SAFER NOW THAN WE WERE BEFORE 9/11, but you don't believe that, because you believe your favorite news reporter.

Take Valerie Plame (please).

Valerie Plame was NOT outed by Robert Novak or any body else...she was never a lawfully covert agent.

She testified that she was covert.

Imagine that!

A covert agent who drives to work in a family car every day, drops her kids off at school and then drives to the CIA offices!

That's some kinda covert!

But her testimony was that she had been trained to know when she was being followed.

Oh, wow! That makes sense.

Truth is, her testimony before the committe was false...a lie...get it? She lied under oath!

Yes she did!

She was, is and always will be a pretty faced, blond liar (a liar being defined as one who does not tell the truth).

But was that pointed out by the MSP?

If you watched any of the questioning of Valerie Plame before Congress, you know that EVERY TIME a question was asked that might yield an opposite result, the question was either cut off or ridiculed by members of the panel who had a different niew.

Valerie Plame said she lost her career because of the Bush administration.

Now you believe that, because you believe your favorite news reporter.

But she was not "outed" by the Bush administration, she was not "outed" at all, because only a lawfully covert agent can be "outed."

But you think she was a covert agent, because you believe the news.

Fact is, the first person to bring up her name as a CIA employee (not a covert agent, 'cause she wasn't one), was Richard Armitage, a deputy secretary of State. Check out this Newsweek link.

But how many times did you hear his name come up in the hearings yesterday?

Answer: 0

You need to realize that the major network news organizations are not at all interested in giving you all the facts of a case, they are interested in making you believe a certain thing that fits what they, as a group, want accomplished.

And they are being successful at making you believe what they tell you because you do not write or call them and tell them how much you wish they would present BOTH SIDES of a story factually, and save the commentary for commentators.

Same goes for certain lawmakers.

They are not interested in the good of the country, bringing unity to the country, defending the country...they are interested in, and only in, their own power.

"Sure are they all...all honorable men."

Yeah, right.

But you believe they are, because they bluster and huff and puff when the truth about them is brought up.

But their actions go on, just the same.

And you fall for their lies and the lies of the Mainstream Press.

Or do you?

UNDERCOVER

If you read this far in this post, you do thereby pledge not to reveal to another soul the veracity of same.

I am a covert operative in S.W.I.N.E.

Each day I drop my charges off at their place of erudition and go to my office at the S.W.I.N.E. headquarters.

Being a highly trained operative, skilled in all areas and activities of the S.W.I.N.E. organization, I know that I have never been followed to my office, even though I use public thoroughfares to get there.

(There was the city bus thing, but that's another story.)

If I had been followed, it would indicate that someone knew I was a covert agent (else why would they be following me?), and I would no longer be covert.

Now, the Congressional bill regarding the outing of covert agents in S.W.I.N.E. would have required that whoever discovered that I was covert would have to be indicted on charges of outing a covert agent thereby transforming me from a covert agent to an overt agent, something that no agent of S.W.I.N.E. would want to be.

Somehow, I would have to get over overtness so that I could become covered with covertness (or some other nasty substance).

Now, when testifying before a Congressional committee regarding the outing (or overting)of a covert agent, the person who actually framed the law testified that I was not covert under the law, a sure indication that there is considerable confusion about the relationship(s) between overt-and-covert-ness.

The Committee Chairman then became properly indignant (something I know a great deal about which), crying out, "Are you telling me that Joe was NOT covert? Don't actually answer the question, because I don't want to hear what the answer actually is, I just want to be able to ask the question with an incredulous tone to my voice."

"Well, Sir," she responded, "under the law..."

He interrupted, "Don't bring the law into this. Why, we are actual law writers! What possible relevance could the law have in a case like this? We are not interested in the actual facts of this non-case, we are only interested in posturing and puffing on behalf of the American people."

"But be assured," he continued, "We intend to prosecute this issue to the fullest extent of the law!"

She tried to point out to him that the law didn't have a very full extent, but he was having none of it.

Having observed these proceedings, I left the court room (uh...make that the committee room) in my usual huff and rejoined my responsibilities in my S.W.I.N.E. office. In an overtly covert fashion, of course.

NOTE FOR THE UNITITIATED: S.W.I.N.E stands for Seniors Wildlly Indignant about Nearly Everything.

If you have been initiated, please disregard this explanitory note.

NOTE 2: There is no way to describe the penalties that may or may not be invoked should you give in to the temptation to reveal the contents of this covert post to any other person, living or dead.

PHONIES

Dear blog reader,

Do you have any idea how utterly stupid the Congress and Senate of the United States of America think you are?

They think you are far to stupid to realize that when President William Jefferson Clinton fired 93 Attorney's General it was OK, because he did it early in his administration and without any prior investigation, but President George W. Bush fires 8 after years of consideration and investigation and that's somehow bad.

They really and truely think you are that stupid.

How does it make you feel to know that they think you are that stupid?

It makes me turbochargedly furious that they think I'm that stupid.

They're wrong, aren't they?

You are not really that stupid are you?

INTERESTING

I have no idea how true anything in this video really is, but it does give reason for thought and is worth watching.

(I can't make it link...I guess you'll have to copy it and paste it in your URL box. I don't have one of those $1,000.00 computers from 2023 - which comment you will understand after watching the video-.)

http://www.glumbert.com/media/shift

MORE OF MY PUGS

Charlie looks most intelligent when he is nipping at his bottle. He and Zeek are very close. Even closer than in the picture.

Wanna see some pugs?

(Well, look anyway)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3200857267193874310

SATURDAY SILLINESS

Everything you see on TV is, of course, true.

Today I was watching the local Fox TV channel.

The announcer said, "Fox 4 is in your corner!"

I looked im my corner.

They weren't there.

GIVE WHAT?

Most Christians' favorite hymn really goes:

Some to Jesus I surrender,
Some to Him I freely give.
I will sometimes love and trust Him
In His presence frequently live.

I surrender some.
I surrender some.
Some to Thee my Blessed Savior
I surrender some.

You might not have noticed.

Christians often tend to be inconsistant.

They are even inconsistant in recognizing their inconsistancy.

Let me illustrate.

A neighbor stopped in at my house the other day to visit.

He went into my laundry room where I had a washer and dryer.

"Hey!" he proclaimed. "I'm feeling very alturistic today!

"I'd like to give you this really nice washer and dryer set!"

"Uh..." I was somewhat perplexed.

"How can you give me that washer and dryer set? It belongs to me already!"

"Yeah!" he answered, "But I just feel like I should give you something. You've done a lot for me and I want to return the favor.

"It's settled. I'm giving you this washer and dryer."

Now I know that you are smarter than the average blog reader.

You understand how silly that is.

Do you understand how it illstrates one of the most flagrant inconsistancies in most Christians' lives?

God created and owns the entire universe...everything...all of it. It's His. He holds the deed.

My washer and dryer is His.

My home is His.

My car is His.

My life is His.

My children are His.

My paycheck is His.

Everything I am, everything I "have" is His.

His Word teaches me that truth without equivocation.

He absolutely, positively owns it all.

Not philosophically...actually.

How can I "give back to Him" something that is already His?

"Nothing in my hand I bring..."

One of my church members said to me, "If every member of our church would just tithe, we wouldn't have so many money worries."

I answered, "If every member of our church would just learn New Testament giving, God wouldn't have to settle for only 10%.

Many Christians are willing to fight for the concept of tithing.

Very, very few are willing to give their all to Him.

Even though He gave His all for us.

True New Testament giving requires that we recognize that everything is His...100%.

He demands it all.

Any other so-called "New Testament" teaching about giving is false teaching.

NOT A PART OF THE PLATFORM

A friend of mine sent me this little story.

I thought I would pass it on to you.

I was right.

I would.

A game warden in central Florida recently stopped a Florida cracker, who was leaving a lake well known for its good fishing, with two ice chests of fish, .

The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?"

"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."

"That's a bunch of bull! Fish can't do that!"

The cracker looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"

The cracker poured the fish into the river and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said,"Well?"

"Well, what?" said the cracker.

"When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH!"

"What fish?"

We in Florida may not be as smart as some, but we ain't as dumb as most. You smart ones have a good day!

THE PLATFORM PART 6

Here it is!

The final duty of government as outlined in the preamble of our Constitution.

It is to secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity

Liberty!

People have died for it.

It is the deepest earthly yearning of the human heart.

Cage an animal if you must, but don't cage a human being.

The writing on the Statue of Liberty, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..." recognizes the depth of the seat of freedom in the human breast.

What is it that so profoundly settles itself in the soul of man, this thing called "liberty?"

Cliches: Freedom isn't free. Freedom isn't license. Freedom isn't absolute. Your freedom to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. You're not free to yell, "fire!" in a crowded theater.

True.

So what is it?

Freedom is the ability to think and move without restriction but with enormous responsibility.

The responsibility that comes with freedom is the responsibility to act with the good of someone or something bigger than self in mind.

That's not easy.

Most of us live by the motto: I want what I want, when I want it, where I want it, how I want it and I want it right now.

In order to be free we must get over the "I" trouble.

For instance traffic lights.

I have the power to not stop at a red light.

By agreement with society, I have relinquished the right to not stop at a red light in order to enjoy the freedom of driving where I want to go safely.

So in order to enjoy some liberties, one must give up certain freedoms.

There must always be a balancing act, or else freedom would become anarchy, which would become chaos.

And so, we the people established a government charged with the responsibility of securing our very liberty.

To entrust a government with our liberty, and then to tell that government to govern us, is so close to a contradiction-in-terms that it is scary.

And so, we call it a government of the people, by the people and for the people.

As long as the people remain active in governance, it will succeed.

When the people refuse to be involved, the government will, because of the nature of mankind and its propensity for power, exert undue authority and will become corrupt, then dictatorial, then repressive.

If I am President, my administration will strive to secure those blessings of liberty for us, for our children and for our children's children.

But then If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

THE NEWT WORLD ORDER

Newt Gingrich is one of my favorite politicians.

I like Newt because he and I share similar social, governmental, and family values.

He is contemplating running against me and others for the Presidency.

Sadly, he does not have a breath of a chance, not because he isn't the best man for the job. I think he IS the best man for the job (next to me, of course).

He doesn't have a chance because the mainstream press will fry him for breakfast meat.

Newt is the architech of the Republican Contract with America, with which I fully agreed.


This is a transcript of a section of a Gingrich Speech in New Hampshire.

Apparently it is causing a firestorm.
==============
NEWT GINGRICH: The third thing I want to talk about very briefly is the genuine danger of terrorism, in particular terrorists using weapons of mass destruction and weapons of mass murder, nuclear and biological weapons.

And I want to suggest to you that right now we should be impaneling people to look seriously at a level of supervision that we would never dream of if it weren't for the scale of threat.

Let me give you two examples.

When the British this summer arrested people who were planning to blow up ten airliners in one day, they arrested a couple who were going to use their six month old baby in order to hide the bomb as baby milk.

Now, if I come to you tonight and say that there are people on the planet who hate you, and they are 15-25 year old males who are willing to die as long as they get to kill you, I've simply described the warrior culture which has been true historically for 6 or 7 thousand years.

But, if I come to you and say that there is a couple that hates you so much that they will kill their six month old baby in order to kill you, I am describing a level of ferocity, and a level of savagery beyond anything we have tried to deal with.

And, what is truly frightening about the British experience is they are arresting British citizens, born in Britain , speaking English, who went to British schools, live in British housing, and have good jobs.

This is a serious long term war, and it will inevitably lead us to want to know what is said in every suspect place in the country, that will lead us to learn how to close down every website that is dangerous, and it will lead us to a very severe approach to people who advocate the killing of Americans and advocate the use of nuclear or biological weapons.

And, my prediction to you is that either before we lose a city, or if we are truly stupid, after we lose a city, we will adopt rules of engagement that use every technology we can find to break up their capacity to use the internet, to break up their capacity to use free speech, and to go after people who want to kill us to stop them from recruiting people before they get to reach out and convince young people to destroy their lives while destroying us.

This is a serious problem that will lead to a serious debate about the first amendment, but I think that the national security threat of losing an American city to a nuclear weapon, or losing several million Americans to a biological attack is so real that we need to proactively, now, develop the appropriate rules of engagement.

And, I further think that we should propose a Geneva convention for fighting terrorism which makes very clear that those who would fight outside the rules of law, those who would use weapons of mass destruction, and those who would target civilians are in fact subject to a totally different set of rules that allow us to protect civilization by defeating barbarism before it gains so much strength that it is truly horrendous.

This is a sober topic, but I think it is a topic we need a national dialogue about, and we need to get ahead of the curve rather than wait until we actually lose a city which could literally happen within the next decade if we are unfortunate.

I think we should pay attention to this speech.

After something dire happens, it will be too late.

Let's not let that happen.

BEYOND A SHADOW OF A GOUT

I thought only old people got this stuff.

It is called "gout."

Gout is a condition caused when uric acid, which is normally distributed throughout the blood stream, leeches out and collects in one or more joints, usually the big toe joint, but it could be any joint.

In the blood stream, uric acid is sort of like Tang (you know, the orange drink of early astronauts) crystals.

When it becomes gout, it hurts. Really bad.

I have had three broken bones, each of which caused me to writhe in pain.

This is about three times as bad, pain-wise.

Its onset was a little less than a week ago, when it settled in my right foot, just in front of the heel.

That went away untreated and I thought all was well.

But this is sneaky stuff.

A couple of days ago, my left big toe knuckle began to hurt.

It got worse, and began to swell, and had a little circular red spot, right on the side of the toe-knuckle, that was so sensitive that a breath of air made it feel like an ice pick was stuck in that knuckle.

Last night, as I finished my post on my non-run for the Presidency, I inadvertantly kicked my desk with my gout-filled toe.

I do not recommend this course of action.

After shouting out in pain, at which my sweet wife, Bonnie, came running, only to stand by helplesly, there being nothing at all she could do for me, I began to laugh uncontrollably at the stupidity of the situation.

Bonnie became convinced that I was totally off my rocker.

It has taken her thirteen years to come to that realization.

I was laughing and crying at the same time.

Really strange.

Putting my feet under the covers at night was impossible, because even the bed sheet touching the center of that little spot caused excruciating pain.

The swelling got so bad that I literally thought my skin would split.

It didn't, for which I am grateful.

I finally got to see my doctor, Dr. Toro, whom I call Dr. Zorro, but not to his face,who prescribed some meds.

I sit in front of my computer with only a sort of dull ache, but it is markedly better, pain-wise.

Why do I share this with you? What great wisdom do I intend to impart with this narrative?

I have absolutely no idea.

Except, as with most blogging, it is cathartic.

I sure wish I knew the meaning of "cathartic."

It would certainly afford me a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension.

That would be nice.

Ah ammmmm gething dizzzzzie frahm the medcin.

Goo night owl.

THE PLATFORM PART 5

The landslide is underwhelming.

Yet I proceed in the knowledge that the good of the country must trump all.

The fifth plank of my platform concerns the 5th responsibility of government as put forth in the Preamble to The Constitution of the United States of America.

The government is to be the catalist to promote the general welfare of the citizens.

Once again we turn to Mr. Webster for some help.

PROMOTE: a: to contribute to the growth or prosperity of : FURTHER

b : to help bring (as an enterprise) into being : LAUNCH

c : to present (merchandise) for buyer acceptance through advertising, publicity, or discounting

WELFARE: the state of doing well especially in respect to good fortune, happiness, well-being, or prosperity.

Please notice that it is the government's job to provide for the common defense.

When it comes to the general welfare, it is government's job to promote it.

Somewhere along the line we got the idea that if we have trouble it is government's job to fix it.

That is not so!

For instance, many criticized the government for not reacting quickly enought to the hurricanes Charlie, in Southwest Florida (Punta Gorda, Arcadia, et.al.) and Katrina, in New Orleans.

Not one word of the Constitution gives government the task of rebuilding homes, etc.

Another for instance: The Constitution does not charge the government with educating the public.

When neighborhood schools accepted money from the feds, they relinquished local control over schools. Schools then became government schools instead of public schools.

Recently, the NEA (National Education Association) has stated that citizens have no business interfering with the curricula of public (read: government) schools!

And many of you just go on like the Red Skelton hobo character, "Dum-de-dum-dum..." and let it happen.

Now, even PTAs cannot ask what goes on in some schools, let alone try to exercise influence therein.

All they are allowed to do is to rubber stamp what has been decided by government workers and do fund raising and extra-curricular stuff.

Can you guess what government in recent history began to influence the schools in exactly the same way? (Think Germany and WWII).

Politicians in government found in the phrase, "promote the general welfare," the concept that if they (the government) give out enough money, they (politicians) can continue to get re-elected.

So, they establish welfare programs, instead of promoting the general welfare.

Promoting the general welfare would enclude encouraging folks to learn to support themselves, become gainfully employed and thus avail themselves of the American Dream.

There are far too many people who prefer NOT to seek employment and just collect monetary benefits from taxpayers.

If you haven't come to this realization, watch a few installments of Judge Judy or Judge Joe Brown or Judge Alex.

They seem to cater to the lowest common denominator of American existence.

So.

This plank of my platform includes:

1) The federal government shall no longer have a say in the public education of citizens, and control of schools shall be returned to local districts;

2) Citizens who actually work for their part of the American Dream shall be taxed at a LOWER rate than those who do not;

3) Federal income taxes shall be 11% of every earned dollar by any for-profit entity, individual and corporate, and shall be assessed for every dollar above the established poverty level.

There shall be no deductions for anything except giving to legitimate non-profit charities whose resources are used for the betterment of mankind.

Taxes shall be collected from the rich at the same rate as from the less-than-rich, the incentive for success being that everybody gets to keep 89% of everything they earn.

People who, through circumstances over which they have no control, cannot work and are below the poverty level shall be cared for to the degree necessary for sustanance. If they can be re-trained to become productive, said training shall be afforded them, after which they must go to work if they are able.

Under no circumstances shall the government use the color of one's skin determine either advantage or disadvantage to any individual or group.

Americans shall have the freedom to worship as they please or not both in private and in public.

If one wants to preach on a street corner, he/she shall be allowed to do so. If one does not want to hear the preaching, he/she shall be free not to listen.

If one wants to worship some pagan god, he/she shall be free to do so, so long as the exercise of that belief does not bring physical harm to another. (If you want to worship snakes, worship snakes, but keep those snakes in cages away from those who hate snakes...like me.)

The freedom to pray at a highschool event shall not be infringed upon.

Faith-based and other altruistic organizations shall be encouraged to provide services to those in need.

As President, I shall encourage Congress and the courts to return to the principles held by our Founding Fathers in all areas, secular and faith-based.

And keep in mind: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

THE PLATFORM PART 4

Once again, O Intelligent Reader, I return to my platform.

The Constitution of the United States of America tells us what government is to be about.

So far we have covered: 1) forming a more perfect union; 2) establishing justice; and 3) insuring domestic tranquility.

Now it is time for a very relevant function of government: providing for the common defense.

It is the job of government to defend the nation against all forces, inside and out, which might cause the nation to fall, to stumble or even to trip.

On December 7th, 1941 a squadron of Japanese aircraft struck our naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, killing 2,403 American military personnel and civilians.

Although Hawaii was not a state, it was a United States Territory, and an attack on it was considered an attack on America.

This attack brought us into a war with Japan at the same time we were engaged in conflict in Europe against Adolph Hitler, whose goal it was to rule the Western World.

We ultimately won both wars. That's because we are militarily the strongest nation on earth, peaceful until attacked...then...watch out!

One single battle in the ensuing war with Japan was the battle for the Island nation of Iwo Jima.

During that battle, 4,197 member of the United States Marines were killed right out, 19,189 were wounded and 1,401 later died of wounds suffered there.

The battle lasted 35 days.

We won.

Ultimately, the war with Japan was won when President Harry S. Truman made the decision to drop one atomic bomb on Hiroshima and one on Nagasaki, Japan.

Some would argue that we were about to end the war with negotiations and that the bombings were unnecessary.

May I remind you that on December 7th, 1941 we were engaged in negotiations with Japan during which they had promised to abide by the peace treaty we had just struck with them.

Their ambassador broke off the negotiations hours before the attack on Pearl Harbor, which means, of course, that the attack had already been planned and the negotiations were nothing but a ploy to keep us from doing anything until the attack had come to fruition.

The point is: Negotiations have NEVER in the history of mankind prevented an attack, nor have they, in-and-of-themselves ever ended a war.

There are those who believe that we should pull out of Iraq immediately and negotiate peace with terrorists who have as their goal the distruction of the western way of life.

It has never worked in history, is not working anywhere in the world today and will never work in the future.

Those who think negotiations with terroritst will lessen their verve are either naive or are traitors.

I hope for the former, I fear the latter.

Their trouble is they either do not know or do not care to put the war on terrorists in the perspective of the history of war.

Therefore, Plank 4 of my platform is the unmittigated defense of our nation.

I.

Nations that harbor and/or train terrorists shall be given 60 days to round up, execute or otherwise dispose of all terrorists within their borders or face the FULL force and fury of the United States Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and their state auxilliaries.

Anybody in this nation or any other who does not think we can defeat any present enemy on this planet is just plain STUPID (and if you're one of them, I'm sorry to report that you are just plain STUPID).

Now, might does not make right.

But when you are right, your might goes a long way toward enforcing your rightness.

In the case of terrorism, it is right that terrorists be distroyed.

If not, they will most assuredly distroy us.

II.

Members of any group or groups who support terrorists within our borders shall be tried as traitors and/or deported to Mexico immediately, and if Mexico does not like it, they should stop allowing their people to enter the United States illegally.

Those who are in our county illegally, from whatever country, shall be deported immediately. They may re-enter by getting in the same line those who enter legally are in, fulfilling the same requirements those in the afore-mentioned lines must fulfill and go through the process legally.

All legal aliens shall be welcomed with opened arms and shall be invited to work toward becoming citizens of and to partake in the American Dream.

III.

The defense of this country from without and within shall require the largest portion of the national budget.

So there you have it.

Part 4 of my Platform.

Remember: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

TIME OUT!

Before I present to you the rest of my platform (I know. It's tough to wait. You are waiting with shrimp in your mouth...ie: baited breath), you MUST read The Insanity Farmer (whose name I have never changed in my blogroll).

Here is the link:

http://insanityfarm.com/

You must read: Politico Primer Part 1 and Politico Primer Part 2

No, really! You must!

Go read it!

Do it now!

Go!

Go!

It should be required reading in every civics class, every political science class and every social studies class.

So what are you waiting for?

I'll wait while you go read it.

THE PLATFORM PART 3

The third responsibility of the federal government, according to the Constitution of the United States of America, is to insure domestic tranquility.

Shall we turn to Webster?

Yes, lets.

Domestic:

of, relating to, or originating within a country and especially one's own country.

Tranquil:

1 a : free from agitation of mind or spirit
b : free from disturbance or turmoil

So, when there is turmoil in the country, the government is to make sure that tranquility is restored.

Question: Has our government insured that we have tranquility within our nation?

I think not.

So, as President, I will assist the members of the House of Representatives, the Senate and the Supreme Court to understand that this is in their job description.

I will assist them by saying, "Look, guys (and gals), you gotta make some tranquility happen here."

Of course, they won't know how.

They will look at each other and say something like, "Duh....How are we supposed to do that?"

To which I will respond, "Look, you gorbellied, folly-fallen, giglets, I will demonstrate."

Then, in a saturday evening, required viewing TV appearance, I will say to the citizens, "Now, sit quietly, cross your legs, take a deep breath and hold it."

This will accomplish several things:

1. When they sit quietly, suddenly all overt crime will cease.

2. When they cross their legs, all sorts of evil occurances will be prevented. Furthermore, the rate of population increase will decline.

3. When they hold their breath, certain ones who engage in unhealthy, oxygen depleting, carbon monoxide inducing and mind altering habits will expire...thus decreasing the surplus population, emptying our jails of many life-long criminals and freeing up many hospital beds.

4. When I at last give them permission to breathe normally, those who are healthy will be so happy to be rid of those who have been dragging the country down that they will gladly proceed through life in a state of tranquility.

In order to accomplish all of this, a new cabinet post will be established: The Minister of Calm.

Man! I can hardly wait to set some of this in motion.

As Always: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

THE PLATFORM PART 2

The second responsibility of government, according to The Constitution of the United States of America, is to establish justice (check out the preamble).

What is this thing called justice?

According to Webster it is:

1 a : the maintenance or administration of what is just especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments

b : Judge

c : the administration of law; especially : the establishment or determination of rights according to the rules of law or equity

2 a : the quality of being just, impartial, or fair

b (1) : the principle or ideal of just dealing or right action (2) : conformity to this principle or ideal : Righteousness

c : the quality of conforming to law

3 : conformity to truth, fact, or reason : Correctness

Notice that it is the government's job to establish justice.

Again, according to Webster: to institute (as a law) permanently by enactment or agreement.

In order to establish justice, we use a system of laws, with a Constitution to establish the bounds of the laws, congress to write laws, the President to agree to the laws, a Supreme Court (whose purpose is to ensure that the laws do not violate the Constitution), Judges to mediate the laws, lawyers to argue the laws, and police to enforce the law by seeking out violators and bringing them before the courts.

Now, it has not worked out that way, because individuals in the system see their own need to power as greater than the Constitution itself.

Thus we have activist judges imposing law instead of comparing it to the Constitution and determining to which principles the law adheres or violates.

Therefore, my platform is to immediately suspend all sitting judges, good and bad, and replacing them with judges selected from my readership, who will obviously be honest, fair, upstanding, dependable, trustworthy, loyal helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.

Applications are being received.

Remember: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

THE PLATFORM PART 1

My readers are the smartest blog readers in the world (except for Vickie, who sadly allows me to control her [or is it really "his"?] mood).

Since you are so smart, you will no doubt understand the various planks of my platform in my run for the write-in vote.

Plank 1.

As president I will work toward the unification of the United States of America.

There are several way this will be accomplished.

First, I will introduce legislation that will make it illegal to pass any more legislation. We have enough laws already. We just need to start enforcing the ones we have.

Secondly, I will introduce legislation that will make it illegal to disagree with me, thus creating a state of immediate unity.

The fact that legislation prohibiting the introduction of any further legislation will have been enacted will be a bit of a stumbling block, but I will introduce legislation that will make it possible.

For those who agree to agree with me there will be enormous benefits: free healthcare; free housing; free money; free gasoline; free Dairy Queen Blizzards; and free Honda Fits.

Those who choose not to agree with me will be strongly urged to plan an extended vacation in Bora Bora. Every effort will be made to make the trip effortless.

We will provide them with airfare, a pair of pajamas, one change of clothes, the religious tome of their choice and Ritz crackers.

Then we will give them a copy of "How to fly a Boeing 777 for Fun and Profit" and send them on their way.

Those of us who are left will bask in the knowledge that we all think alike, walk in lock-step and will play Monopoly every Monday night.

Global warming and food shortages will be unlawful.

Hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, landslides, sink holes and thunderstorms will be relegated to sections of the Sargasso Sea, and ships will not be allowed to venture therethrough unless they fly the flag of Bora Bora.

The Constitution of the United States of America exists, according to itself, to form a more perfect union.

No one has figured out how to do that until now.

Relief is on the horizon.

Or is that a hurricane brewing?

Remember: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

The Groundswell Begins

There were four comments on my last post.

One of those comments promises to vote for me.

One out of four, all of them Americans.

Assuming three hundred million Americans, that gives me 7,500,000 votes.

I'm a shoe-in!

Next: My Platform Expanded

ONLY A HUGE WRITE-IN COULD DO IT

If nominated, I will not run

If elected, I will not serve.

That's my platform, and I'm sticking with it.

TOO EARLY?

To see, hear or read the mainstream press, you would think that the Presidential Primaries were next month!

I still haven't seen a single person worthy of the office of President of The United States of America come to the fore.

Here's what my candidate MUST be ready to FIGHT for:

1. Uniting the country. That must be number one.

2. Establishing justice under the law for every citizen.

3. Insuring tranquility in our land .

4. Providing common defense of our nation.

5. Promoting the general welfare of our citizens.

6. Securing the blessings of liberty for us and our descendents.

7. Taking as little of the money we earn (and the government does not earn) as possible.

8. Making government as small as possible.

9. Sticking to what is actually IN the Constitution.

10. Making abortions illegal except where the physical life of the mother is directly threatened medically (the Supreme Court's incorrect decisions of the past notwithstanding).

11. Remembering that this is a government of, by and for the people and that we are not a people of, by and for the government.

12. Being a person with a real American name like: George; John; Thomas; James; Andrew; Martin; William; Zachary (?); Millard (?); Franklin; Abraham; Ulysses (?); Rutherford (at least it sounds dignified); Chester; Grover (not the Sesame Street one); Benjamin; Theodore; Woodrow (?); Calvin; Harry; Dwight; Lyndon (?); Richard; Gerald; or Ronald.

What kind of a name is Barack? What about Hillary (mountains of trouble there)? Should we consider a man whose name is Newt (isn't that some kind of lizard?)? Rudolph (the Christmas president)? Mitt (gimmie a break!)? Jeb (sounds a bit hick-ish)? Condoleezza (come on...that's not a real name...is it?)?

Maybe we need a Joseph.

I know one.

SATURDAY SERENDIPITY

PART ONE:

I have been surfing the blogosphere.

WOW! What a concept!

Anyway, among the posts I have read have been some (not entirely wrongly) critical of the "organized" church and bemoaning personal disillusionment therewith.

Well, disillusionment is what happens when one's focus in on the corporation and not on the CEO.

Christ died for the church (ekklesia - that which is called out), not the church building, church location, church organization, church polity, or any other aspect of the corporate church, the CHURCH, ie: the people who have come into relationship with God through Christ.

(Yeah, yeah...I know He died for all sin, in all people, everywhere...but here I am talking about the church. Cheese...try to stay focused!)

Now anybody who has read God's Word knows beyond any doubt that He is well organized. Witness the very universe itself, His book of Nehemiah and the re-building of the wall, His instructions as to the lay-out of the temple, or the tents of Israel outlined in Numbers 2.

But Christ did not die for the organization.

He died for me.

And for you, by the way.

He is to be our focus.

Period.

Otherwise, we are doomed to think negatively about that entity we call the church, with its false-starts, foibles and rank stupidity.

When I learned to look at each face in the congregation through the eyes of Christ as I led the worship, instead of in light of the various frailties represented therein, my worship leading became meaningful.

I like meaningful.


PART TWO:

Have you been thinking a lot about the United Nations lately?

I was sent the following and thought I would share it with you.

(It can be bought at www.imao.us I think. It's a T-shirt design).

TOP 10 U.N. SLOGANS

10. If an impotent, bloated buraucracy can't solve it, then it's best left festering.

9. You can't spell "unethical" without UN

8. Genocidal dictators, beware our non-binding resolutions.

7. Bringing peace to our world (actual results may vary).

6. Tomorrow's corruption today

5. Raising pointless squabbling to an art form.

4. We take bribes so you don't have to.

3. Try our world famous cheesy fries.

2. If troubles abound, we'll be nearby doing nothing.

1. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial America.


PART THREE

There is no PART THREE.

THE PLANE TRUTH

Nancy!

Nancy!

It's OK!

You can have a plane to travel on.

It is NORMAL for the Speaker of the House to have a plane.

No one is saying you should not have a plane...no one!

But, you simple minded, self-oriented, self-proclaimed queen of the USA,

YOU DO NOT NEED A BIGGER PLANE THAN HAS EVER BEEN USED FOR ANY OTHER POLITICAL LEADER WHO WAS NOT PRESIDENT.

THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE ARE OBJECTING TO, YOU OVER-THE-TOP LEADER OF THE "MOST MORAL GOVERNMENT EVER"...N O T.

Stop with the accusations and threats (read: defunding the war in Iraq) and just do the job the people (mistakingly) elected you to...

that is IF you know how.

AH, SWEET MEMORIES

I bought a memory foam pillow.

It's not helping my memory at all.

I can't even remember why I bought it.

OLDIE BUT GOODIE

A friend sent me this, so I thought I would pass (pardon the football reference) it on to you.

Football FINALLY makes sense..........

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I
Really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the
big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each
other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

She said "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the
rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback!
Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

I hope you catch it.

A FRIEND AND CO-WORKER BLOGS!

You all know Parker, the Insanity Farmer (see link in blog roll).

Now there's Caleb.

Caleb is also a co-worker of mine...one of the best, most dependable workers anyone could ask for.

He now has a blog called On the Air (Caleb) .

(Actually, the (Caleb) part is not part of his blog's name, only of the link I have to his blog. His blog is actually "On the Air."

But if you click on the words in the quotation marks above, you will not get to his blog.

Conversely, if you click on the link that includes (Caleb), you will be taken to his blog. )

Anyway...I recommend that you read his posts.

He is a dedicated Christian with strong, conservative views.

And he's cool.

Read him.

ALL IS SIMI-FORGIVEN

Thanks to the help of svoblogger, I am now able to leave comments on other Blogger sites.

Therefore, some is forgiven...there are still too many steps...but at least it works.

Therefore be hereby warned!

You will be visited by a certain presence this weekend.

Your blog will be read.

Certain appropriate comments may be left.

Some may be right.

Whether right or left, the comments will be filled with hidden but well exposed meanings.

There will be enough comments posted that one could write a commentary.

You can neither run nor hide.

Watch out!

Here I come!