Who's First?

As a nation, we have a real problem.

Well, we have a number of them, but here I refer to an issue at the top.

I'm referencing our First Lady and our Potential First Lady (or Man).

The current holder of that position, Laura Bush, just has too many questionable qualities for the tastes of Mr. & Mrs. Average American.

For instance, grace.

Who needs a first lady who responds to hard questions from media with grace?

And poise.

Laura Bush has so much poise, one might consider her "poise-on."

She has a brilliant command of the English language...who needs that?

And she smiles a lot.

My gosh! If you're going to go around smiling all the time, what will those dignified potentates from other lands think?

Speaking of dignified, not since Barbara Bush have we had a First Lady who conducted herself with such dignity and charm.

And there is no mistaking that, whatever you may think about her decision-making, she loves The United States of America from the bottom of her heart.

No, no, no.

See what we need (and sadly missed out on) is a First Lady who can cuss and scream like that Heinz lady could.

We need someone who has only been proud of America since her husband decided to run for her highest office.

Someone who can get caught "off-mike" saying words that are generally banned from family programming would make a great First Lady, don't you think?

The new First Lady should be filled with ambition, so that someday, she, too can run for the world's most powerful position.

Perhaps we should consider a First Man, preferably someone who can point a finger at folks, especially if they are judges, and lie with a straight face.

A man who believes that things are true, not based on whether or not they actually happened, but based on the fact that he said them...and if he said them they become true because he said them...that's what we need.

We need a First Man who knows how to entice young ladies to satisfy his need for control and passion while he is serving in the post.

Whether we get a First Lady or a First Man, we must be sure we get the kind of person we deserve who can stand along side our new President and be his (or her) confidante, advisor and lover (or loverette), properly demonstrating what the First Lady of The United States of America should be.

Isn't that the kind of First Person you want?