TIME FOR CHANGE?

I have some gripes and I am now going to express them.

1. My taxes are much too low.

I have a need to pay more to my loving government.

2. Our country's deficit has been dropping much too fast...way ahead of schedule.

I think we need to take steps to get it back up again.

3. Gas prices have come down too much.

If the Europeans can pay $5.00 per gallon, I should get to, too.

4. We have had too few terrorist attacks in the last four years.

We are entitled to at least one per year so we can lose a few thousand innocent civilians.

5. The stock market has been doing far too well.

People who invest their money in the stock market (of whom I am not one), have a right to lose more of their hard earned money and do not deserve to have money set aside for retirement.

6. Medical care is much too immediate.

I should be able to wait at least six months for some of the heart treatments I need periodically. Why, the way it is now, I actually get to see the doctor the very day I go to his office. I should only be able to make an appointment to see the receptionist three weeks from now so that I can actually see the doctor in about six weeks.

7. Wal-mart has a lot of nerve, providing my generic drugs for only $4.00 for a month's supply.

Why I've been complaining about the high cost of medicine for so long, I won't know how to behave if my prescriptions are actually reasonably priced.

Last week I got a three months supply for only $12.00. I used to get to pay $36.00 for the same period of time.

What to do?

8. We are having far to much success in Iraq and Afganistan.

(What? No one told you? The infrastructure is in better shape than it has been in ten years, the government is making strides daily toward being able to take over their own country and the civil war that was supposed to be happening has just failed to take hold...disgraceful!)

Since within three years of an early pull-out from Iraq we will be fighting terrorists on our own soil in our own country, instead of having to go overseas to do it, a pre-mature withdrawal of troops is essential.

9. I am absolutely furious that my home's value, which was supposed to go down because of the bursting of the housing bubble, actually has gone up in the last three months.

Just for that, I am keeping my house and absolutely refuse to even put it on the market.

10. President Bush has refused to be wishy-washy on almost any issue at all.

I think we need a man who can test the wind daily to see where he stands on an issue.

Maybe a good mugwump would fill the bill.

(A mugwump is a polititian who sits on the fence with his mug on one side and his wump on the other. He flies backward, because he doesn't care where he's going, only want to see where he's been.)

11. The general economy is too robust.

We deserve to be able to slow it down.

12. Unemployment is just too low.

Why, I can remember the Jimmy Carter days when unemployment was double digit.

13. The same goes for inflation!

Why can't we return to the days of 12% or maybe even 18% inflation?

14. And speaking of polititians, we need to get rid of these polititians who, when they discover a felon in their own ranks, force them to resign.

What we really need is for party leaders to endorse having members of Congress have actual sex with pages (instead of just writing to them) and then give them standing ovations.

We need strong men serving in Congress who don't mind leaving a woman in a car to drown.

We need more members of Congress who can't remember the story they told last time about their war escapades and so change the story every time they tell it.

For all of the reasons listed above, and for many I am just too depressed to mention here, I intend to vote DEMOCRATIC in the up-coming mid-term elections.

N O T !