The Heart of the Matter

On Saturday, May 7, 2002, at about 9:02 AM I had a heart attack. Then, about 20 minutes later, I had another. By Sunday afternoon, I had had nine. I went to work Monday and during the day I had 3 more.

I called my doctor who told me to get to the emergency room.

I went.

These were not the regular "pressure grips your chest while an elephant sits on you, full blown, pain radiates down your left arm and into your jaws" attacks. They felt as though a man had climed into my chest and lighted a blowtorch. Searing pain. Highly unrecommended.

My hospital experience is for another time, but it was the pits.

Now I take a "blood pressure lowering, blood vessel dialating" pill, an aspirin per day and carry nitroglycerin tablets with me. All the time.

My doctor says I have a 50% chance of having additional "events," and that each of them has a 50% chance of being "the big one."

Happily, I was able to do the week's work at the radio station (WJYO 91.5 FM), and lead worship in my church today. But I am exhausted and will have to rest this afternoon if I am to go to work tomorrow.

I say all of this to say that I was suddenly given the proverbial "wake-up call," a reminder that there never has been, is not now, nor will there ever be a guarantee of tomorrow in this world.

There is good news in all of this. When I was a 16 year old know-it-all, I was told by someone I trusted that the restlessness in my innermost being, the one that made me think my parents were old and knew little of the pressures of my teenage world, the one that made me rebel at any and all authority, the one that made me say, "I want what I want, when I want it, where I want it and I want it right now," the one that made me want to express myself with anti-establishment music and wierd experiences, and all sorts of other things, was caused by sin.

Sin! Me! The son of an officer in the United States Air Force. Sin? How utterly ridiculous!

But deep inside, where my being resides, I knew it was true.

The trusted one went on to tell me that the sin in my life would separate me from God forever and that there was nothing I could do about it.

That didn't sound like good news to me. But he wasn't finished.

He told me that God sent His son, Jesus, to die on a cross to pay the penalty for sin for me. He said that if I would turn in faith to Him, God would place in my heart the knowledge of His forgiveness and change my life forever. (There were a lot of theological thingys he told me about, too, as well as some great Bible verses, but that, too, is for another time.)

I did. God did. I have served Him ever since.

When I had my first heart attack, I really thought I was going to die. By the 12th, I was sure of it. I'm still here.

Let me tell you, I was concerned for my wife. I was concerned for the radio station. I was concerned for the sweet people at my church. Not for a minute was I concerned for myself. My future is totally secure. I was at peace with whatever was going to happen.

Money, cars, electronic goodies, houses...those are all good things. But they are all trumped by God's peace in the heart.

I wish everybody would do what it takes to have that peace in their heart. I especially wish you would, if you never have.

That's not "trying to force my religion" on you. It's just wishing for you the best thing that could ever happen, hands down, bar none.

Recommended Reading (in The bible): Romans 3:23; Roman 6:23; Romans 10: 9-13 and John 3:16.

In Christian Love
Joe