To begin with, we must realize that forgiveness is not a natural human characteristic. Real forgiveness must originate with God, for it is a part of His character.
Then, we must understand the forgiveness offered us by God at the cross of Calvary in the person of Jesus as He died to forgive us.
From what did He forgive us?
He forgave us of all of our sin(s), past, present and future.
So what? What is so special about the forgiveness of sin?
To understand that is to understand why nothing else could pay for our sins, except the death, burial and resurrection of Christ.
The tiniest sin is so abhorrent to God that it is worthy of an eternity separated from His presence in a place called “Hell,” a place not designed for us but for Satan and his demons. God won't send us there. We have to step over Christ to get there, but more get there than don't.
That is why James wrote: “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of all of it.” (James 2:10)
The Law might be likened to a drinking glass. It is good. It does what it is supposed to do: it holds liquid.
But if the drinking glass developed just one little hole in it, it would no longer be useful. Even if the “whole” glass was not broken, the one little hole would make it leak and the glass would no longer serve it’s intended purpose.
So it is with the Law.
According to Paul’s letter to the Romans, the purpose of the Law is to reveal to us our sin and our need for a savior.
Sin is pictured in Scripture as any thought or action that is not in the absolute center of God’s will.
That’s pretty severe, for it means that every second of every day we are all guilty of sin.
In and of ourselves, there is no hope, for it is impossible for us to adequately keep the Law.
That is why Christ died for us.
He did for us what we could not do for ourselves: he bore the penalty for our sin.
He provided for us God’s eternal forgiveness!
Now, the Lord’s Prayer (properly called the disciples’ prayer) says, “…and forgive us our trespasses, as (in the same way) we forgive those who trespass against us.” (Luke 11:4 and others).
In Colossians 1: 13 & 14, Paul wrote: “For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness, and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”
He set the example of forgiveness for us, and taught that we should forgive others the same way He forgives us: not after we have “fixed” whatever wrong we have done, but just because forgiveness is the emulation of Christ’s forgiveness of us.
Realizing the depth and seriousness of God’s forgiveness toward us is the first step toward learning to forgive others.
When someone has wronged us personally (which is the way we wronged God through our sin), we feel hurt. We often want to strike back, or at best, strike them from our list of friends.
Through the teaching process afforded by God’s Spirit, we can learn how to forgive others.
After realizing how God has forgiven us, the next step is to realize that unforgiveness is really a result of our own, personal feeling of having been “wronged.”
In other words, it is about self.
He/she hurt ME. He/she did such-and-such to ME. He/she said so-and-so about ME.
I become the focus of my own perception.
Once we know that our difficulty with forgiveness is self-directed, we can begin the process of letting go of the real or imagined offense.
Forgiveness is not a wishy-washy “poor me” response. It takes determination and strength to forgive others.
Those attributes can only come from God.
True forgiveness does not even bother to take into account the seriousness of the offense.
It is not about forgetting, for memories are stored in our brain and are not easily overwritten like some computer code.
Forgiveness is about letting go and allowing God to deal with it.
Even if the other person does not change, let it go.
Even if the other person has not asked for forgiveness, let it go.
As God sees the redeemed person who sins through the eyes of Christ and therefore as having not sinned, so we must see the other person through Christ’s eyes and forgive.
It is not easy, for we like to harbor our hurts. We like to hang on.
If hanging on to our hurts did not benefit us in some way, we would not do it.
It makes us feel somehow “superior” to the other person to be able to point to their offense and say, “See! That’s how they are. I’m much better than that.”
But Jesus saw our offense and said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do,” speaking more to you and me than to the people who hung Him on the cross.
Forgiveness must be directed toward those who have done us personal wrong.
There is no generalized forgiveness, such as: “I forgive all of the people who have done anything bad against me.”
In many cases, the person we have not forgiven does not even know we have anything against them.
Forgiveness is personal and specific.
There are benefits to learning to forgive others.
One benefit is the sweet release from emotional pain that accompanies unforgiveness.
Another is the ability to realize the “peace that passes understanding” that God provides those who are His.
There is also the knowledge that we have done what is right in God’s eyes.
Finally, there is the ability to re-direct our focus onto those matters that need our attention without the distraction of holding whatever attitudes we may have against the one who wronged us.
Prayer: Father, teach us to forgive like Jesus forgave us.
